lbj123 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 I know this is a tremendous generalization so I preface that I understand this is not true for all men, by why does it seem like guys have so many more issues when it comes to being committed and falling in love? Thinking about my male and female friends and different relationships they have been in, in addition to my own relationships, is it just a fact of life that men get freaked out easier and fear the notion of settling down with one person? Do men agree with this (even if you as a man do not have committment issues?) One more question for everyone, in your opinion, how do you feel you know when someone is the right one for you?
Lucasarts Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 well the thing about commitment is that its to one person, and only one person. The problem for me is that i get easily bored and attracted to so many beautiful things, its hard to really find one to stay with (and when i do, it ends in a disaster so that sorta makes me think about if a relationship is worth it). Yet when i do commit myself to one girl, i dont see any point of being with anyone else but her; regardless how beautiful or gorgeous of a girl will come and approach me (because right away i think they are shallow and stupid and offer nothing real, and what do they offer? sex? why have sex with a girl once/twice when i can have it as much as i want with someone who understands me and is fun to be with?) anyways, to me its all about settling down with a genuine wholesome yet still beautiful (to me) girl. Anything else is just a fling or a memory. Oh and to add further, i also have to think about the factors of school, my work, my friends, and my hobbies (music, writing). Going into a commitment is very time consuming and if i cant commit time and energy to it, then there is no point to make it work in the first place.
Cobra_X30 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 why have sex with a girl once/twice when i can have it as much as i want with someone who understands me and is fun to be with?) Dude... your kidding right? Listen, most guys know that once we fully comitt... no more sex. Thats pretty scary! Plus now you have someone you have to care for. Doesnt that sound like responsibility to you?
Lucasarts Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 hmmm well i guess you're not finding the right girls? i mean im still young and the girls that i do actually end up being in a relationship with love to have sex (especially after making me wait for a time, taking them out, wining and dining them, etc) and i feel REALLY BADLY if you don't get anymore sex after you commit. I would strongly look at why there is no sex drive in your relationships (if your being serious that is) and no im not kidding, i've only been in like 3 committed relationships but when i was in them i was very happy with the girl i was with (despite everyone ending in a horrible ways). And caring for someone isnt a bad thing, its a responsibility but again, I look for woman who are self-sufficient and headstrong, not needy and dependent on me for everything (these women are quite the turn-off). My cat takes more responsibility for me than any of my ex-girlfriends.
Author lbj123 Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 In my situation, I definitely think the responsibility of having to think of another person was what freaked him out, despite my not being needy or clingy at all. As relationships grow and progress however, taking care of one another and considering the other person when making decisions is a part of that. IMO there was absolutely no boredom in our relationship. Sex was beyond belief, mind blowing nirvana, and we couldn't get enough of each other! And everything non sexual was filled with excitement and passion too. I guess it means he just wasn't ready to be a relationship or maybe that he's somewhat selfish or immature. BUT, here's the question (more rhetorical than answerable I suppose) if I were the right one for him, would he have been ready and not afraid? is there a chance that we could be right for one another or does having doubts mean its not right?
Woggle Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Men are more hesitant to enter a commitment but when we do we mean it. Women on the other hand will enter a commitment easily yet bail when things are less than perfect. Why won't more women honor the commitments they make? If you ask me it is better to not do it at all than start it and bail when you hit a bump in the road.
Trialbyfire Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Men are more hesitant to enter a commitment but when we do we mean it. Women on the other hand will enter a commitment easily yet bail when things are less than perfect. Why won't more women honor the commitments they make? If you ask me it is better to not do it at all than start it and bail when you hit a bump in the road. There is some truth to what you said. It's also a good argument for being yourself, right from the start of the dating experience.
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