tkgirl Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I recently had my heart broken by a guy I thought I really had something special with.. he didn't feel the same way. I have been trying to move on, but sometimes it gets really hard. So what I thought might help is to start meeting other guys... as friends or...? So this week I have dates planned with two new guys, and am talking to a third about meeting sometime this week as well... good ol' online dating! The thing is I never have dated like this before... I'd always meet just one guy at a time, either we hit it off or we don't, and if we do then we end up becoming boyfriend and girlfriend... kind of what I thought was happening with this last guy. When that didn't work I figured I'd try a different approach... ie date multiple guys. I just have so many mixed feelings about it now... am I being unfair to them by dating others? And more importantly, I feel like I'm sort of using them to get over this other guy... I'm just not sure if I can go through with these dates now. HELP!
ElvenPriestess Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Sounds like you're pretty hurt and maybe with out realizing it, you seem to be headed towards the rebound area. That's not fair to you or the guys. So if any part of you thinks this is a rebound I say don't go for it. I would recommend not dating for some time longer until you're completely over this other guy. Take a breather, take time for yourself. Dating can wait, it will always be there.
LoveLace Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I don't think Elven could have said it better. Your not over your Ex yet completely, and your a little frightened of being alone because it sounds like you've always had a serious relationship with someone. That's understandable though, your just not used to it. If you are going to date, I say just see it as something to do for fun and don't look for a serious thing to develop. Make it a casual thing you do on the side and spend the rest of time you have to yourself to do things that YOU enjoy. Hang out with the girls or put more energy into a hobby. When we date someone for long periods of time we tend to associate ourselves with that person to the point where they become a part of us, so we forget things about ourselves in a sense. It's important to use time to yourself because you'd be amazed at how much you'll learn about yourself and others, and relationships. It's time to move on to yourself, instead of onto another guy. Once you get settled happily with yourself, you can consider seeking a new relationship. Like Elven said it isn't fair to guys if you date too fast either because deep down you just don't want to be alone right now. You'll be best loved when you really know how to love yourself...a piece of advice all over this board but it's sooo true, trust me I know.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 (edited) I just have so many mixed feelings about it now... am I being unfair to them by dating others? And more importantly, I feel like I'm sort of using them to get over this other guy... I'm just not sure if I can go through with these dates now. HELP! I dont think that you are being unreasonable to them . the only thing you are doing is dating them and trying to get to know them on a more personal note. Now if you feel like you date these guys and have absolutely nothing in common with them, but is keeping them around only because you want to get your mid off your ex, then yes ! you are using them. Go on the dates and feel them out. I have never dated more than one guy myself Edited January 8, 2008 by EYECANDY000
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