Author pfotobug Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 So after a long heated discussion, she made it clear that she wants this relationship! I have to prove many things to her first so she has good reason to prove to her family and friends why they should support this. She definitely has an uphill battle and I surmise and can't imagine what she has to go through. And for that, I can understand why she feels she has to date others because of these external pressures. She made it clear that she doesn't want to and isn't interested in anyone else and that we should enjoy the relationship.
oppath Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 So after a long heated discussion, she made it clear that she wants this relationship! I have to prove many things to her first so she has good reason to prove to her family and friends why they should support this.[/Quote] Can you explain this? So, she has agreed that she will not date others and is exclusive to you. But what do you have to prove? Do you have to prove those things first, before exclusivity? Or is she just letting you know what her family will expect? Are you comfortable with what she wants proved? Do you find those things reasonable? And for that, I can understand why she feels she has to date others because of these external pressures. She made it clear that she doesn't want to and isn't interested in anyone else and that we should enjoy the relationship. External pressures be damned. If she wants you, she wants you, and as a grown woman, it is her choice who she dates. If that causes conflict with her family, that is her choice, but she should be an adult and stand up for you if you are the one she wants.
Author pfotobug Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 I have to prove that I will find a secure f/t job (which I have all sorts of offers currently) whereas i have been a consultant for the past 12yrs. She comes from a family of Teachers and from the Catholic Faith (as did I). She has made mistakes in the past and her Mom thinks she makes bad decisions and has steered her back to "the right path" and doesn't want her to deviate from that. To bring me into the equation, I have to meet some of that criteria in order to be somehow accepted. She has a lot to defend. I am a single father who has raised two sons. Valedictorians , one in his 3rd University, the other entering this year. I work a professional career, own a beautiful home and lead an active life. Though, I am proud of this, the optics wouldn't sit well with her family. She's intelligent, beautiful, humanitarian, has a Masters Degree and finishing Teacher's College and will be a French Teacher in a year or so. We both really are crazy about each other and both have the potential to have an amazing life and I would like to start a family again. But can you see what I mean by 'external pressures'? I know, a lot to consider eh?
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 I have been in a relationship for a couple of months now. I met a beautiful girl on my hikes 9 months ago and we started dating about 3 months ago. We connected on every level in such a short period of time and it has been intense. We both have never felt this way about anyone else before and we really feel we truly love each other but she thinks she still has to experience dating other men. Can anyone give me an opinion? HMMM, You could bang other females, so what's the problem? I'd say dont attach your emotions with her until she's sure enough to make a decision for the long term. Date her but see with other people as well. Also if your not cool with that formula, then dump her and say you cant be with me if you want to see other people too. It aint complicated.
Author pfotobug Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 I've dated many beautiful women in my life, but this kind of connection is very rare. She has all the makings of being a great partner, which is what makes it so hard. We both feel like we're on a drug being around each other, have great conversations and have similar interests. I know, I can go bang other females but something like this is once in a lifetime so-to-speak....
phoensam Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 I've dated many beautiful women in my life, but this kind of connection is very rare... I'm sorry, but I don't see it as some rare and wonderful connection....she is 27 years old and dating other men...well past the age where parents tell us who and how many we should date, particularly if she is as smart as you say. If I were you, I'd definitely start seeing other people and ease out of this "relationship"...tell her you are willing to date her again, only if/when she agrees to stop dating others...that is a dealbreaker for any serious relationship.
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