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Posted

Just seeking some insight here, hopefully some from a man's perspective.

Around 10 years ago, I started dating a guy from work. My bestfriends, husband is bestfriends with this guy (Roger).

When my gf introduced me to Roger his life was a mess. He was going through a divorce. At the time when we first met, I only wanted to be just his friend. I wasn't looking for a relationship and I certainly didn't want to be in the middle of a divorce.

As time progressed and his divorce became final we began to get really close. I ended up falling in love with him, but he couldn't commit.

I am one of the most open minded and understanding people one could ever meet. We talked alot and I told him I understood that he prolly still had feelings for his ex wife. That to me is understandable. To make a long story short, he couldn't be faithful and not only was he messing around with her behind my back he was also seeing other women. I don't really understand why he had to lie about it, but I soon learned that he lied so much, he had forgotten the truth. I mean it's one thing to lie about something major, but to lie about stuff that doesn't even matter is just stupid. When I called him on his lies he was so embarrassed that he quit talking to me and avoided me at all cost. I went on with my life and took it as a lesson learned. Don't get me wrong, I was still in love with him, but I'm not going to allow myself to be treated that way. I play second best to no one!

About a 1 1/2 years go by and we haven't spoken. I started having this feeling that he was trying to come back around. I always sensed these things with him. I saw his car in my town several times and caught him following me once in a round about way. several months later, his mom passed away and I felt terrible. My gf always felt the need to keep me posted eventhough I would tell her not to bother. I sent him a card after his mom's funeral. By this point, I had left the job we shared and moved on to something else. Roger took that card to work and showed it to my gf and wanted to get ahold of me. He had bought a thank you card and wanted her to deliver it. Keep in mind that my gf and him don't get along after the way he treated me.

We ended up meeting up and talking after that. Things rekindled a bit as far as the sex. I knew that I couldnt be involved with him any more than that. He tried his best to wrap me around his finger, but I wasn't going to allow it.

Off and on over the years he has tried to contact me. He use to call on the phone and not say anything until I got my # changed. I knew it was him but wasn't going to give him the satisfaction. He use to drive by my house all the time, but I finally moved to where he doesn't have a clue to where I am. I recently found out, like within the last month that he has been asking my bestfriends husband about me. He wants to know where I'm living and how I'm doing.

The funny but sick thing is that years ago my bestfriend told me that I could move all the way to Egypt and here would come Roger on a brown camel looking for me. We laughed when she said it, but I really think it's the truth. He's the one that couldn't commit and didn't want to be with me so why in the heck can't he just let it go?!?!? It's been a full decade!

Posted

the reason is simple psycology. This man has what I'm going to call negotiatiors complex. Have you ever negotiated for something... well its like that, to him things are still in the back and forth, and you know what they say about walking away when negotiating... just a tactic for mor negot

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Posted

I somewhat see your point and that may have made more sense years ago, but not now. It has been an entire decade! I'm done with that. He and I could never be together as a couple. The damage as been done, and I don't trust him at all. I would say he's good for one thing and one thing only! ;)

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Posted

And another thing...he is 39 yrs old. Don't you think it's time to grow up?

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