EYECANDY000 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I wouldnt call again. I would just let it be and erase her number out of your phone
allina Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Given the fact that she texted me on my way home from the date, I would have to say that rules out the lost theory. Sorry I forgot about that. I take her texting you that night as a good sign so maybe you could try texting her just once?
melodymatters Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I agree with star here. I also am a female person, and yeah, normally, I would return the call, but so many things can happen in "a day in the life:, that it might get back burnered. Plus, I like guys that show they are into me, so one more call, would actually tip things in your favor. And like another poster said; it can't hurt, unless of course your ego is that fragile. Good luck whatever you decide !
Author Krytie TV Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 Sorry I forgot about that. I take her texting you that night as a good sign so maybe you could try texting her just once? I may do that, based on the "nothing to lose" context that some people have mentioned. I'll sleep on that and decide tomorrow.
Author Krytie TV Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 I agree, but you can always create one. I coulda gone all Rico Suave on her a*s, but if not getting a kiss is a deal breaker, then it sounds like a bit of high expectations to me.
oppath Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I coulda gone all Rico Suave on her a*s, but if not getting a kiss is a deal breaker, then it sounds like a bit of high expectations to me. They say if you have good game, you can always get the kiss, but honestly, those PUA guys often FORCE the kiss on the girl. I would say it is best to create a kissing situation but logistics don't always allow that. That is why I try to do active dates for the first date, where we may be at one place and can easily walk across the street for another, putting two dates in one, and giving me more chances to casually touch or grab her hand than just sitting at a booth would do. But sometimes, that is not possible.
Author Krytie TV Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 They say if you have good game, you can always get the kiss, but honestly, those PUA guys often FORCE the kiss on the girl. I would say it is best to create a kissing situation but logistics don't always allow that. That is why I try to do active dates for the first date, where we may be at one place and can easily walk across the street for another, putting two dates in one, and giving me more chances to casually touch or grab her hand than just sitting at a booth would do. But sometimes, that is not possible. Yeah, we played shuffleboard and she got seriously competitive on me. You know, looking back on this thread makes me feel silly, because it's one of the simplest concepts in dating... the call/don't call dilemma. But as simple as it is, it just happens to be the one phase that my logic/pride/experience ALL tell me something different. I think it's funny that I have no problem initiating with women and doing the first date thing but when it comes to this I completely become clueless. This experience will definitely be a basis for my future behavior though.
tanbark813 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 It's not that hard and you don't have to be all Rico Suave. Trying to be Rico Suave will probably backfire anyway. You can just be walking to your car (or to dinner or wherever) then stop, take her by the hand, turn her towards you, and kiss her. If you're reasonably sure she's interested then she'll be receptive. It doesn't need to be, "My love... the time has come for me to elevate your oral senses to new heights as we create this magical thing they call love." *cue violins* Nor should it be, "Oh please, oh please, oh please, I hope she doesn't turn away. Here goes nothing!" It should just be, "Okay we're kissing now. Hold on to your britches." And I hope that PUA comment wasn't directed at me, oppath.
allina Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 It's not that hard and you don't have to be all Rico Suave. Trying to be Rico Suave will probably backfire anyway. You can just be walking to your car (or to dinner or wherever) then stop, take her by the hand, turn her towards you, and kiss her. If you're reasonably sure she's interested then she'll be receptive. It doesn't need to be, "My love... the time has come for me to elevate your oral senses to new heights as we create this magical thing they call love." *cue violins* Nor should it be, "Oh please, oh please, oh please, I hope she doesn't turn away. Here goes nothing!" It should just be, "Okay we're kissing now. Hold on to your britches." And I hope that PUA comment wasn't directed at me, oppath. I agree with this, I think Tan has good moves What are PUA guys?
tanbark813 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I agree with this, I think Tan has good moves Thanks, baby. What are PUA guys? Pick-up artists.
oppath Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Oh no, it wasn't aimed at you. I didn't kiss my girl last night and now I'm kicking myself for it. She never really warmed up and I always wonder "am I not interesting, or is she just shy?" Well, I'm interesting and a good conversationalist, so she must be shy. It was a lack of confidence on my part. At the very least, with a hug goodbye, be definitive. Turn her towards you, look her in the eyes, and tell her unequivocally "I really enjoyed this." It was raining and I did not do that. Poor form on my part going for the quick hug, get out of the water. A kiss in the rain is hot. This is what happens when you meet at a strip mall type restaurant for drinks. It was my bad all around as I worked out twice -- running and then breakdancing -- with nothing to eat, and I was feeling like passing out. Next time, I am going for the kiss. If she turns away, it's not meant to be.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 what did she say when she texted you? was it something aong the lines of hope you got home safe? or something like I had fun hope to do it again?
Author Krytie TV Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 She thanked me for the good time and wished me luck staying awake at work that night. Nothing beyond that.
shadowplay Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 I like when NJ posts because it saves me time since I agree with her 99% of the time. Yes, but it may mean something to the girl. I agree with KMT that you should have kissed her. If she's walking arm-in-arm with you but you don't make a move she may take it as a lack of interest/confidence. I definitely would.
Author Krytie TV Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 I understand that to a degree, but seriously, what's the deal with that? Don't women like it when men move slow? This statement seems in contradiction to all the other things that men are told by women. And are you implying that a follow-up phone (and date request) call means less than "making a move" on the first date? Can women seriously not wait until the second date for a kiss? Geez, I thought men were horndogs.
shadowplay Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Oh no, it wasn't aimed at you. I didn't kiss my girl last night and now I'm kicking myself for it. She never really warmed up and I always wonder "am I not interesting, or is she just shy?" Well, I'm interesting and a good conversationalist, so she must be shy. It was a lack of confidence on my part. At the very least, with a hug goodbye, be definitive. Turn her towards you, look her in the eyes, and tell her unequivocally "I really enjoyed this." It was raining and I did not do that. Poor form on my part going for the quick hug, get out of the water. A kiss in the rain is hot. This is what happens when you meet at a strip mall type restaurant for drinks. It was my bad all around as I worked out twice -- running and then breakdancing -- with nothing to eat, and I was feeling like passing out. Next time, I am going for the kiss. If she turns away, it's not meant to be. Guys don't understand how important it is to show obvious interest in a girl. How interested I am in a guy is often proportional to how interested I think he is in me. I will often give a guy a second glance that I wouldn't have otherwise if I think he's interested. By the same token if I go on a date with a guy and he doesn't show obvious interest (like kiss me when he has a chance) I wonder what's up and usually lose interest. A first date is the worst possible time to show disinterest. If a guy does this, he usually loses his chance. Sure, a guy can go overboard with interest, but it's pretty hard to do.
shadowplay Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 (edited) I understand that to a degree, but seriously, what's the deal with that? Don't women like it when men move slow? This statement seems in contradiction to all the other things that men are told by women. And are you implying that a follow-up phone (and date request) call means less than "making a move" on the first date? Can women seriously not wait until the second date for a kiss? Geez, I thought men were horndogs. Honestly if a guy was given the perfect opportunity to kiss me on a first date and didn't I would be confused and annoyed. On my first date with my current bf he didn't kiss me at the end of the night (when he had the perfect opportunity to) and it left me feeling "WTF?" I always interpret that as disinterest. When we had been dating for awhile he confessed that he didn't make a move out of fear of rejection. On the second date I had to drop him a HUGE hint and then he finally asked me if he could kiss me. Again, I thought that was lame. Just kiss the girl; it shows confidence. Edited January 8, 2008 by shadowplay
tanbark813 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Can women seriously not wait until the second date for a kiss? Geez, I thought men were horndogs. It's not about horniness, my man, it's about wanting to feel desired.
shadowplay Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 It's not about horniness, my man, it's about wanting to feel desired. Exactly.
Cobra_X30 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 It's not about horniness, my man, it's about wanting to feel desired. Also the intimate physical contact generates a more emotional bond. Mostly for the reason you just listed.
BlueEyedGirl Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 I agree that for any girl actually wanting a relationship, showing interest clearly is a turn on. The only difference between guys that I dated for longer and the ones that I only went on one or two dates with, is that in the first group of guys showed an obvious interest in me. This makes me feel desired and if I'm not totally repulsed by the guy, I will become more interested. Even waiting 3 days to call after the first date lowers my interest. Actually I will even very rarely give a chance to a guy that waits more then say 2 days to call after the date. The only exception would be if I am really really into him after one date, but that only happens in about 1% of the cases and even then I would be slightly less into him if he waited few days to call.
shockandawed Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 I agree that for any girl actually wanting a relationship, showing interest clearly is a turn on. The only difference between guys that I dated for longer and the ones that I only went on one or two dates with, is that in the first group of guys showed an obvious interest in me. This makes me feel desired and if I'm not totally repulsed by the guy, I will become more interested. Even waiting 3 days to call after the first date lowers my interest. Actually I will even very rarely give a chance to a guy that waits more then say 2 days to call after the date. The only exception would be if I am really really into him after one date, but that only happens in about 1% of the cases and even then I would be slightly less into him if he waited few days to call. Great thread!! This is interesting, I usually allow the date to dictate the pace and whether I go in for a kiss. Funny, looking back, I have tried the so called dating rules, don't be too eager, make them wait, etc.. If a girl doesn't show a lot of interest, I tend to back off to "save face". The reality is she may be doing the exact thing. A sort of viscous circle is created. I think the fact she texted you afterwards is a good sign of interest. If you like this girl, man up and make another call. There are all kind of scenarios out there that could have happened. Make the call, don't ask her if she got the others. If she doesn't call back or declines, at least you know, and my gut is she will only feel worse if she doesn't respond because you are showing interest.
norajane Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 It's not about horniness, my man, it's about wanting to feel desired. I love it when tan posts because I agree with him 99% of the time.
Green Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 yeah and in the future don't play it to cool, show interest, go for the kiss. If they did like you and they reject your kiss things should be fine any ways.
Trialbyfire Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 Ladies, don't you know that a man is interested, even if he hasn't kissed you yet? What about all the eye contact, body language and sometimes electric connection? I think it's kind of cool, when a guy who's showing blatant signs of interest, is willing to hold off on the kiss. Anticipation can be something else.
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