Krytie TV Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 So I went out with this girl last week and we had a good time by all indications. I called her the next day and left a brief message. It's been three days and no return call (and I haven't made any other attempts). Part of me says that girls like the chase and I should try one more time to give her a call, to show interest. My brain tells me I'm tired of this crap and should just totally let it go and forget about it. I just apparently have no clue what's right anymore.
norajane Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 If she hasn't returned your call yet, don't call again. I don't know whether you should call it a day, as she may still call you, but I definitely wouldn't keep chasing her.
D-Lish Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I agree- if there has been no return call.... you left the ball in her court and it is up to her to call you back. If I was interested in a guy who called me- I'd call him back within 24 hours.
Art_Critic Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 If she hasn't returned your call yet, forget about her. I agree with Norajane.. you called her.. she has to call you back in order for you to chase her.. Calling her again without a response from the first call isn't chasing.. it is called something else.. Chasing means the other person implies some interest.. then you chase.. they give you something to chase.. In your case your case she gave you something to chase but she didn't return anymore interest.. Unless she contacts you forget about her
Lucasarts Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 interesting, this one is hard...maybe she is just being nice, cause if it seemed like everything was working to your favor than yea...she def should have called but hey who knows? she could be a black magic woman if u honestly feel that you want to call her again, just do it, maybe she'll pick up and talk to u maybe not... if there is no response, dont leave a message and dont ever call again, because then you will know for sure that she isnt interested. (Or if fate decides it, she'll return your missed call)
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 If she hasnt called you back then forget about it, find a girl who will call you back
shadowplay Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 She would have called if she was interested.
Author Krytie TV Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 Thanks for confirming my thoughts on the matter. However, even if she did call me after 4 or 5 days, I don't really find that to be acceptable or worth my respect.
Green Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 This sounds like a flakey girl, if you want to try a txt "lets get a drink". Did you kiss her on the first date?
Author Krytie TV Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 No, we were doing playful touching most of the time and she locked arms with me on the walk back to her building... but no kiss.
Green Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 oh yeah and if the days you didn't get called back were friday, saturday, and sunday it should be forgivable depending on what the msg you left was.
Green Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 No, we were doing playful touching most of the time and she locked arms with me on the walk back to her building... but no kiss. Sorry buddy sounds like you did good with the playful touching but the kiss would have sealed the deal.
johan Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I just apparently have no clue what's right anymore. I agree with you. You are searching for validation from women, and that isn't coming. That makes you feel like hell, because you don't feel valid otherwise. It's become such a source of irritation for you, you post crazy stuff here. You are acting out by posting hyper-critical feedback to the women, going to swingers' parties and having sex with random, unavailable women, fooling the other couple into thinking you're married to the person you came with, because they wouldn't play otherwise, and posting hyper-cynical, hopeless threads about your plight. You have to look past the little stuff and remember that when you actually meet a woman who you can really love and be loved by, things will click. And all of this will be forgotten. Just never be fake.
Author Krytie TV Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 So me dating a lot of people and doing crazy stuff in the process is looking for validation from women. But for anyone else here it's just looking for love? Thanks Dr Phil.
Green Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 So me dating a lot of people and doing crazy stuff in the process is looking for validation from women. But for anyone else here it's just looking for love? Thanks Dr Phil. Dr. phil would have put you on Eharmoney, they pay him off dont they? any way you messed up when you didnt try to kiss the girl. As far as the validation, well most men get real horny for the pleasures a woman can give but you shouldn't let it define your worth and greater happyness (not saying ur doing that) Just go in for a kiss next time... and if you dont get one ... dont be suprised this happened
johan Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 So me dating a lot of people and doing crazy stuff in the process is looking for validation from women. But for anyone else here it's just looking for love? Thanks Dr Phil. Oops, did I post that in this thread? That was meant for someone else. What I meant to say to you is this: Hey man, women suck. You're lovable, but they are all just too stupid to see that. There's nothing at all wrong with your attitude. It's them. You really should cash it in.
Star Gazer Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Here's my take, for what it's worth. If I was definitely interested, I would have called back by now. If I wasn't sure how I felt, I would have probably allowed whether or not you chased me to sway my opinion. If you called, I'd be stoked and much more interested. If you didn't, I'd let it go. Make sense?
fray718 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I remember just awhile back you were saying how you would make out with girls and date girls but only to use them as fwbs...you should treat others how you'd like to be treated or else it might come back to bite you. And I'm not saying this to be mean, but I'm just saying it to help you. I've been hurt multiple times in my life but even then I tried my best to keep myself 'ethical'...karma can be a b*tch
Star Gazer Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 To add to my previous post: Given that it was a first date, I think it's fair and acceptable for her to be on the fence. Whether you require her to be as into you as you are her (or more so) is up to you. I'd give her a call, but that's just me.
Trialbyfire Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 If I was definitely interested, I would have called back by now. I completely agree with this. Given that it was a first date, I think it's fair and acceptable for her to be on the fence. Whether you require her to be as into you as you are her (or more so) is up to you. And especially the bolded portion of this.
oppath Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I may be in a similar situation later this week. A pleasant enough date but she seemed a little shy or nervous and I couldn't tell if it was because she wasn't into me since she was like that from the getgo. She did warm up towards the end My rule? I call once and leave one message. She'll call back or text or something if she is interested. Most of my relationships have started when the woman has texted or emailed me the next day saying "thanks, I had a lot of fun last night."
Author Krytie TV Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 any way you messed up when you didnt try to kiss the girl. I no longer put any value in a kiss on the first date. It really doesn't mean that much to me. I don't remember the last time I've kissed on a first date, actually. Maybe that's bad, I dunno.
Author Krytie TV Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 Hey man, women suck. You're lovable, but they are all just too stupid to see that. There's nothing at all wrong with your attitude. It's them. You really should cash it in. That's better... now you're on board. You know, every time you've ever posted on one of my threads it's been very negative toward me, personally. I wonder why that is.
oppath Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I no longer put any value in a kiss on the first date. It really doesn't mean that much to me. I don't remember the last time I've kissed on a first date, actually. Maybe that's bad, I dunno. It depends on logistics and venues. I'm sure PUA people would tell you otherwise, but if it's a blind or internet date and you are meeting a teacher for a drink on Sunday but it's her first day back at classes the next day, well, a kiss may not be in the cards as your date may be brief. It does not have much value depending on the logistics and how the date went. Some people even say "don't kiss" so she is left wondering. It doesn't matter. A girl won't find it odd unless you were having an amazing time with lots of flirting and touching. Second date is often better.
Author Krytie TV Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 I remember just awhile back you were saying how you would make out with girls and date girls but only to use them as fwbs...you should treat others how you'd like to be treated or else it might come back to bite you. And I'm not saying this to be mean, but I'm just saying it to help you. I've been hurt multiple times in my life but even then I tried my best to keep myself 'ethical'...karma can be a b*tch Yes, well, we all have phases. I don't believe in karma. If I like someone, I treat them as such. I've done things in the past that I don't necessarily regret, but that I'm embarrassed about.
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