randuff Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I was sitting here just minding my own business and the ex text me again. I ignored it for 30 minutes.... Stared at the phone, text the words "I miss you" stared at it for a good 10 minutes..... Then I sent it....I can't believe I did that, I have been doing so well. Feck feck feck!! Just needed to vent and complain a bit. I just let myself down I was going so friggin well too.
Freddy Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Don't beat yourself so hard about it. Like you I messed up this weekend too and I know a lot of people probably did too these last few weeks.
D-Lish Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I was sitting here just minding my own business and the ex text me again. I ignored it for 30 minutes.... Stared at the phone, text the words "I miss you" stared at it for a good 10 minutes..... Then I sent it....I can't believe I did that, I have been doing so well. Feck feck feck!! Just needed to vent and complain a bit. I just let myself down I was going so friggin well too. We all have set backs, it's normal. What exactly is bothering you about saying this? Do you think you gave up a little bit of you power? If you don't want to be with her- it's simply a matter of starting over with the NC. Don't beat yourself up. I text my ex on x-mas to say I missed him.... He reciprocated- and now I've opened up a whole can of worms that includes considering a reconciliation. Do you want a reconciliation?
Trimmer Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 What did she say in her text to you? i.e. if she said, "You're garbage, I don't ever want to see you again..." and you respond with "I miss you," then yeah, that might be a little wierd... OTOH, if she said "Thinking of you", and you reply "I miss you," then at least that is somewhat keeping to the theme, although it depends on the outcome that you would like to achieve... Either way, as the others have said, don't beat yourself up. Within your own world, nothing has changed. You are probably only fretting over the interpretation of your text in her perception, right? Well, if you're going to go back to NC, then it doesn't really matter, does it?
Author randuff Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 Do you think you gave up a little bit of you power? Yes Do you want a reconciliation? Hmm, interesting question. I would say yes but that would be hell too since I would always wonder what she is up to and if she would stay faithful this time around. That would definitely NOT be a good relationship. Besides I met someone who I think is GREAT! I don't know where this will end up but it was an ego booster for sure because I figured this girl was way out of my league. The new girl has definitely helped with the NC for sure. We talk every night and it usually lasts about an hour or so. She is in so many ways the opposite of my ex (which is a goood thing) but I truly don't know her yet. The ex text back "I hope you're doing okay." To which I have not responded....
jessbaby24 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Don't beat yourself so hard about it. Like you I messed up this weekend too and I know a lot of people probably did too these last few weeks. Yea i agree dont feel bad i also messed up this weekend and ended up in my bed with my ex:confused:.A break-up is not easy and going NC is not easy either.We are going to have setbacks so just brush it off and keep going.Good luck
Author randuff Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 It has been 8 months though......
D-Lish Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Yes Hmm, interesting question. I would say yes but that would be hell too since I would always wonder what she is up to and if she would stay faithful this time around. That would definitely NOT be a good relationship. Besides I met someone who I think is GREAT! I don't know where this will end up but it was an ego booster for sure because I figured this girl was way out of my league. The new girl has definitely helped with the NC for sure. We talk every night and it usually lasts about an hour or so. She is in so many ways the opposite of my ex (which is a goood thing) but I truly don't know her yet. The ex text back "I hope you're doing okay." To which I have not responded.... That's an odd text "I hope you are doing okay".... I'd almost be inclined to say "I am doing great, I met someone who makes me happy". If she was unfaithful in the past- the chance of reconciling and then maintaining a healthy relationship would be next to impossible- trust issues are the hardest issues to get over in a relationship. If you have met someone who makes you feel good- That's great- I'd pursue that. Believe me- not all women are cheaters. I have never cheated on anyone I have been with in my 35 years.
Author randuff Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 Change your phone number! I wish I could but I need it for business too....
Author randuff Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 I have never cheated on anyone I have been with in my 35 years. Me either!! (34 years ) I just ignored the second text. Going back to NC again.... I guess it will just take time since the last 2 weeks are the first in the 8 months we have been split that I haven't talked to her every day.
Trimmer Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 My question was, what was the first text she sent you, the one that opened up the dialog, which you ignored at first, and then replied "I miss you..."
Nemo Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 (edited) My question was, what was the first text she sent you, the one that opened up the dialog, which you ignored at first, and then replied "I miss you..." It was probably something about shaving. Just a guess. Or I suppose it could have been about clipping. That sort of thing is bound to bring back fond memories. Edited January 7, 2008 by Nemo
your star Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 hi randuff, i'm in the 8mth since my breakup as well. i just recently went into no contact because the lc was too hard on me. trust me i know how you feel when you see a text, you just want to be a decent human and text back. it was hard for me to set my mind to ignore him. and I had a lot of "feck" ups along the way. but dont let them bother you too much. youre only human you know! someone on the board said, our exes gave up the right to how know we are since they broke up with us. that's soo true and has helped me a lot. plus, i figure what is having small talk going to do for me? nothing, but set me back 3 steps after I just moved forward 1. hang in thereeeeee!
Blue Eyed Brain Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Not to worry. You expressed feelings not body fluids. Miss you could really mean a ton of things from a platonic (I miss the soup you made, to I miss a hug). Take each day and week as it comes and this will pass. Concentrate on the beauty that is giving you positive love - that's your best bet!
Lizzie60 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Then I sent it....I can't believe I did that, I have been doing so well. Feck feck feck!! Geezzzz dude... get some backbone...
sedgwick Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 randuff, i'm so excited for you that you met someone else! i can't even imagine being able to date again, and it's been six months for me now. it gives me hope that maybe in a few more months i'll be able to at least think about it without getting a stomachache...
serendip Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I think everytime you contact them or do something drastic(especially if you are trying to move on)....it makes you feel like you are breaking up all over again but to a lesser degree(to me anyway)
brothermartin Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 If you were true to what you were really feeling, you didn't foqk up. If you said it just because she said something like it, yeah, you foqked up. But it's no big deal Randuff. What's the worse that could happen? The two of you might get back together? God forbid!
s_n_d Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 We all experience setbacks. It'll be okay. :) Dont beat yourself up over it.
Author randuff Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 My question was, what was the first text she sent you, the one that opened up the dialog, which you ignored at first, and then replied "I miss you..." Actually it was something about her credit, and the credit cards we have together. I wasn't necessarily what the text said so much as it was just getting one from her.
Author randuff Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 Well I am fine. I just let it go. I made a little mistake no big deal, I'm over it. I am concentrating on the new girl and just bettering myself at this point.
Author randuff Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 Way to help the guy. You have a way with words. Sometimes you take what people say with a grain of salt. No hard feelings here...
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