fray718 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 (edited) It's been awhile since I've been with someone and well I have a new bf now of 2 months and I'm really really embarrased about him seeing me naked in the light! I have alot of white strech marks from puberty 10 years ago...on my breasts, hips, thigh...and it's making me really self-conscous! He hasn't said anything about it yet but I have this fear that it might just get to him eventually and he'll find me less attractive and it's really embarrassing and it affects my self-esteem in the relationship. Does anyone also have alot of stretch marks and can relate? And also, how do I get rid of these marks? :lmao: Edited January 7, 2008 by fray718 Link to post Share on other sites
Dynamo Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 It's been awhile since I've been with someone and well I have a new bf now of 2 months and I'm really really embarrased about him seeing me naked in the light! I have alot of white strech marks from puberty 10 years ago...on my breasts, hips, thigh...and it's making me really self-conscous! He hasn't said anything about it yet but I have this fear that it might just get to him eventually and he'll find me less attractive and it's really embarrassing and it affects my self-esteem in the relationship. Does anyone also have alot of stretch marks and can relate? And also, how do I get rid of these marks? :lmao: If he loses his attraction to you over something as little and superficial as stretch marks, then he's not someone you want to be with. Link to post Share on other sites
EYECANDY000 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I dont have stretch marks but I do have a feature on my bosy that makes me very self conscience about myself. I always felt like i had to do a rebuttal first and warn the guy so he dont be thrown off. Flaws are just another part of life and any sane person knows that if you had your choice about body features then you would have the perfect body . If this guy really likes you then he wouldnt see them as a problem. But for the record I dont know how you can get rid of them Link to post Share on other sites
Pirouette Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I'm 22 and 115lbs and have tons of stretch marks on my thighs, bum, breasts, even on my knees! From overly rapid puberty too I guess. I too was embarrassed to show my boyfriend my naked body at first, but it's been 9 months now and along the way I gave up hiding cause it's ridiculous for me to want to only do it with the lights out and the covers on. I shared with him my fears about his reaction to his body and how I was self-conscious. He was very understanding and while we were fully naked (in the full, glaring light) he looked at me and told me how beautiful I was. He touched all the marks that I hated and called them my stripes and said that I was his little tiger. Sappy I know! but I was touched and so pleased. And that's the way it should be too, I think. My boyfriend has a great big scar that I accept as a part of him. I don't even care about his hairy feet! We are our own worst critics a lot of the time about some things that other people couldn't care less about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author fray718 Posted January 7, 2008 Author Share Posted January 7, 2008 I'm 22 and 115lbs and have tons of stretch marks on my thighs, bum, breasts, even on my knees! From overly rapid puberty too I guess. I too was embarrassed to show my boyfriend my naked body at first, but it's been 9 months now and along the way I gave up hiding cause it's ridiculous for me to want to only do it with the lights out and the covers on. I shared with him my fears about his reaction to his body and how I was self-conscious. He was very understanding and while we were fully naked (in the full, glaring light) he looked at me and told me how beautiful I was. He touched all the marks that I hated and called them my stripes and said that I was his little tiger. Sappy I know! but I was touched and so pleased. And that's the way it should be too, I think. My boyfriend has a great big scar that I accept as a part of him. I don't even care about his hairy feet! We are our own worst critics a lot of the time about some things that other people couldn't care less about. I'm glad I'm not alone. Yea in the beginning I always wanted the lights off and to stay under the covers, but well just over the weekend he saw all of me without covers in full daylight. I'm sure he noticed all those stretch marks ...and it seems so far it didn't do much to affect how he treats me...he's still quite affectionate with me but I guess I'm nervous because that was just a day ago since he saw me naked in the light. Not sure how it will be over time. I didn't say anything and neither did he about my marks. So far for the past 2 months he's been a great bf. I guess if he's the right one for me, then he'll stick around despite my marks.... Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I'm glad I'm not alone. Yea in the beginning I always wanted the lights off and to stay under the covers, but well just over the weekend he saw all of me without covers in full daylight. I'm sure he noticed all those stretch marks ...and it seems so far it didn't do much to affect how he treats me...he's still quite affectionate with me but I guess I'm nervous because that was just a day ago since he saw me naked in the light. Not sure how it will be over time. I didn't say anything and neither did he about my marks. So far for the past 2 months he's been a great bf. I guess if he's the right one for me, then he'll stick around despite my marks.... Unless people are cosmetically-enhanced throughout their entire body, everyone has flaws of some kind. If he cares about you as a person, a few stretch marks aren't going to turn him off. If he has issues with those stretch marks, he will prove that he's not the man for you, in that superficiality is his main interest. Who wants a guy like that? Not I. Link to post Share on other sites
jessbaby24 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I have stretch marks too but they never been a problem.None of the guys i have been with were bothered by them.I beleive most men dont even care about stretch- marks. Link to post Share on other sites
Ria10 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 He should just be happy that he gets to see you naked!!! Lucky him. I think the main issue here is that you need to realize that your body is sacred. Any man who wants access to your body first has to accept the sacredness of your body (flaws and all) or else you drop him like a hot potato. Don't give him access until you feel confident that he'll definitely accept you and respect your body, as it is. Maybe wait until you know him better? (I think there are some creams that reduce the appearance of stretch marks... Keri lotion maybe or something... some people use cocoa butter... and there are creams that a designed for pregnant women that would probably help... check the local pharmacy). However I think your own sense of confidence is more important than these creams, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I'm 22 and 115lbs and have tons of stretch marks on my thighs, bum, breasts, even on my knees! From overly rapid puberty too I guess. I too was embarrassed to show my boyfriend my naked body at first, but it's been 9 months now and along the way I gave up hiding cause it's ridiculous for me to want to only do it with the lights out and the covers on. I shared with him my fears about his reaction to his body and how I was self-conscious. He was very understanding and while we were fully naked (in the full, glaring light) he looked at me and told me how beautiful I was. He touched all the marks that I hated and called them my stripes and said that I was his little tiger. Sappy I know! but I was touched and so pleased. And that's the way it should be too, I think. My boyfriend has a great big scar that I accept as a part of him. I don't even care about his hairy feet! We are our own worst critics a lot of the time about some things that other people couldn't care less about. Aww that is so sweet! OP, don't worry. They are a part of you. Nobody is perfect, and if he doesn't recognise that then he is not right for you. But judging from the fact that he seems normal around you, and I bet you are ultra-sensitive around him right now and would pick up on the slightest change, then I'd say he is fine Link to post Share on other sites
Author fray718 Posted January 7, 2008 Author Share Posted January 7, 2008 He should just be happy that he gets to see you naked!!! Lucky him. I think the main issue here is that you need to realize that your body is sacred. Any man who wants access to your body first has to accept the sacredness of your body (flaws and all) or else you drop him like a hot potato. Don't give him access until you feel confident that he'll definitely accept you and respect your body, as it is. Maybe wait until you know him better? (I think there are some creams that reduce the appearance of stretch marks... Keri lotion maybe or something... some people use cocoa butter... and there are creams that a designed for pregnant women that would probably help... check the local pharmacy). However I think your own sense of confidence is more important than these creams, etc. Yea I know what you mean...he's only the SECOND guy ever in my life who's seen me naked. I only let him get this far physically with me because he is in fact someone I trust enough and deep inside I feel like he really likes and cares about me. Thanks for the recommendations on the creams...I might give them a try But judging from the fact that he seems normal around you, and I bet you are ultra-sensitive around him right now and would pick up on the slightest change, then I'd say he is fine I hope you are right Link to post Share on other sites
Author fray718 Posted January 7, 2008 Author Share Posted January 7, 2008 I have stretch marks too but they never been a problem.None of the guys i have been with were bothered by them.I beleive most men dont even care about stretch- marks. Do you have alot of them? I think if I just had a few it wouldn't be too bad, but I really do have alot of them and they are bright white so really obvious and I hate seeing them in the mirror... With him on the other hand I haven't yet found a single blatant flaw on his body. Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Do you have alot of them? I think if I just had a few it wouldn't be too bad, but I really do have alot of them and they are bright white so really obvious and I hate seeing them in the mirror...With him on the other hand I haven't yet found a single blatant flaw on his body. Hopefully you have found a man who thinks the same thing about you. I may have some flaws, but to my boyfriend they aren't flaws at all. We all see things in ourselves which others don't. Women are way too hard on themselves, seriously. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytie TV Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Fray, I've dated women in the past that had what they would consider to be flaws, but I can say I've never ended a relationship with someone because of a physical flaw. I don't think a lot of people do. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 fray, who do you consider is the perfect looking male star? Consider this a question based solely on superficiality. Ignore the man inside. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 (edited) Men aren't thinking about your stretch marks when they are getting busy with you.... they are thinking- wow, this is great I like this person and I am getting laid. I don't care what a guys body looks like- that has never affected my attraction to him sexually or otherwise. I'm in my 30's- and I have confidence about my body that I didn't have in my 20's. There is celluite, maybe my boobs aren't quite as perky... But otherwise I don't get worked up over that sort of stuff. There is nothing sexier to a man than a woman who is confident with her body. Lights on, lights off.... doesn't matter to me. you can change the way you feel about your body too.... simply by recognizing that the person you're with finds you hot and sexy. Grasp onto that reality- that the guy you're with thinks you're sexy as hell. He's not obsessing over every little detail or imperfection- he's not even noticing! All of our bodies have flaws...and often what we see as our flaws, the guys we are with think are wonderful. I hate my bum, because it is so small.... but my last ex kept going on and on about how much he loved my small butt. Someone that loves you, doesn't care- trust me. Also know that many men have the same feelings of vulnerability that we do. I have dated guys with pot bellies, men shorter than I, a hairy beast with back hair and chest hair (he asked me to waxed him and I did....lol), and even overly skiny guys. None of it phased me because I liked them. The guy I am seeing now stretch marks like crazy on his butt and legs and back.... I think his body is super hot! I could care less about any minor imperfections. Use the fact that your man thinks you are sexy to build some body confidence. DO NOT WORRY about these imperfections..everyone has them. Airbruhsed glamour magazines give women a false notion on what men desire. Naked is naked to them- and the more confident you appear- the more sexy you become in thier eyes. Edited January 7, 2008 by D-Lish Link to post Share on other sites
Memories&Dust Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I don't know if these will help or not, but approx 80% of the female population suffers from stretch marks So quite a lot of people are in the same boat Also, I agree with the others, if he's worth it, he will think your stretch marks are just perfection Link to post Share on other sites
Blue Eyed Brain Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 There's a cream called Strivectin. It's about $100 a tube but I have been told that it works wonders on reducing/eliminating stretch marks, wrinkles, etc. Body builders use this to even the skin tone around their bodies.... You can get it almost any where (department store, online, etc.) Link to post Share on other sites
Carmen87 Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I am just about 21 years old and only 115 lbs, yet I have stretch marks and cellulite in some places. I have learned that guys usually don't notice our "flaws" nearly as much as we ourselves do so don't worry about it at all. You can't rid of the stretch marks completely but there are things out there that can soften and fade them. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Is there any way to prevent stretch marks? I'm 3 months pregnant and already my breasts have new, angry-looking, red stretch marks and I just know that my belly will be covered with them by the end of the pregnancy...I've never had stretch marks before. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 blind_otter, drink plenty of water, use a good, heavy moisturizer that won't penetrate the placental barrier from the exterior and make certain you have excellent foundation garments. Other than that, you have to rely on genetics. This is what I learned when I was a birthing coach for my SIL and when my ex and I were planning a future family. Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I also have a small frame and had full size twins so I know a few things about stretch marks! Yikes, they are scary, but there are a few things that really help: Olive oil. Rub it on your belly and breasts every day while you are pregnant. And don't worry too much about the red streaks. After delivery and recovery, they WILL fade to white or silvery colored. To the OP, look for a guy like the Piourette posted about. Calling her his "little tiger" says it all! Sweet and supportive. A great guy. As trite as it might sound, if someone really cares about you, they will love all of you, as is. Any guy who is superficial enough to care about stretch marks or anything else about any perceived body "flaws" isn't the guy for you. He's most likely overconcerned with his small penis or balding scalp or hairy back and taking it out on you! Our bodies live and our lives are evidenced on our bodies. Big deal. Everytime I look at my stretch marks, instead of feeling bad, I try to think how lucky I am that I carried two big healthy babies to term....and I thank my body. It doesn't always work, and sometimes I am still self-conscious about them, but, honestly, men have always loved my body, so go figure....I worry for nothing. In my experience, guys don't care at all about stretch marks! They want intimacy and a woman who loves to have sex with them. Way more important things. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 blind_otter, drink plenty of water, use a good, heavy moisturizer that won't penetrate the placental barrier from the exterior and make certain you have excellent foundation garments. Other than that, you have to rely on genetics. This is what I learned when I was a birthing coach for my SIL and when my ex and I were planning a future family. Well in that case I'm totally screwed. My mother and older sisters have stretch marks from their rib cage to their bikini line. Older sis was stretch mark free until her 9th month and then BOOM they exploded all over the place. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Well in that case I'm totally screwed. My mother and older sisters have stretch marks from their rib cage to their bikini line. Older sis was stretch mark free until her 9th month and then BOOM they exploded all over the place. Did they do everything possible to mitigate the stretch marks? What I've noticed is that many women don't realize that keeping wellhydrated by drinking water, makes a lot of difference. Of course it's not guaranteed to work, for everyone. Worse case scenario, you end up well hydrated. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 I know that this has been said already, but there is no such thing as a flawless body. All of us have some sort of flaw on our bodies and if someone is going to decide whether or not to date us based on this flaw, then they are a waste of time and energy. Plenty of great people out there who look past the superficial stuff. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted January 7, 2008 Share Posted January 7, 2008 Did they do everything possible to mitigate the stretch marks? What I've noticed is that many women don't realize that keeping wellhydrated by drinking water, makes a lot of difference. Of course it's not guaranteed to work, for everyone. Worse case scenario, you end up well hydrated. Considering that my mother survived off of TAB cola (gross) for her first and second pregnancy I'd have to say no, we are not a well hydrated bunch. I'll definitely have to up my water intake. Luckily my job provides free purified drinking water. I should take advantage of this. But my job also provides free sodas and snacks, most of which are unhealthy. Oh well, you take the good with the bad. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts