mizzy_C Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I met this guy through my friend from work. They are really good friends and have been for a while. I just got out of a two year relationship and totally ready to move on. My friend from work introduced me to this guy at the bar a few weeks ago. Me and this guy spent the night talking and at the end of the night he asked for my phone number- cool! My friend at work was saying this guy is looking for a relationship but he is kind of the guy that will just go home with girls and that's about it. But she said he wants something more.. Day before new years eve he texted me asking if i was going to the new years social. I said yeah and he said he was going too. We texted back and forth a bit about where to get tickets and stuff. New years eve came around and i spotted him talking one of his friends so I approached him and asked him if he wanted to come sit with me and my friends. He said he would be there in a few mins so me and my friend went to sit down and about 2 mins later he came to sit with us. As the night went on we obviously got more intoxicated and he really started flirting with me (holding my hand. grabbing me around the waist, putting his arm around me) New years countdown came and he gave me a new years kiss which was nice... at the end of the night both of us were pretty hammered and he ended up coming home with me and my friends, and then we went back to his place and spent the night together- but we didnt not sleep together, just messed around a bit and cuddled. since then- i haven't really heard from him too much so i decided to text him about 3 days later just to say whats up. he wasn't tooo talkative and i asked what he was doing on the weekend he said he wasn't too sure. and asked what i was doing and i said i didnt know either. friday came around and i ended up drinking with a few friends and then i had to meet my brother at the bar anyways so i ended up there and my friend from work was there and i was talking to her and then i seen the guy there too. i didn't approach him but he came and approached me and my friend from work. we talked a bit and i seen him with a few girls at a different table but i think they were just friends back home from school for the holidays--- they left, and he came up to me and asked what i was doing after i said i didnt know because me and my brother were obviously too drunk to drive so he called a cab and me and my bro jumped in with him... i wanted to go party after and my brother wanted to go home. i ended up going to this guys house again and we ended up spending the night together again. mistake??? maybe. Again, he did not try to sleep with me yet rather stopped me when things got heated and said maybe we should jsut cuddle.. morning came and he had to work at 7am and told me i could just sleep in his bed and relax while he went to work so i did for a while and then ended up calling for a ride to go home cuz i couldn't sleep. it's been two days since then and i have not heard from him. that night i spent at his houjse i confronted him a bit n asked why he doesn't talk much. he said he is pretty quiet and that i'm not exactly a talker either......and that he's not too much of a texter but thats the only way that we contact each other....am i just a total fling to him or what? i kind of want a boyfriend and i don't know if it's too late to turn this situation around because i have already spent two nights with him and given him the impression that i am just a 'hookup buddy' and i really want to change that!!! i decided i'm not going to go out any more and stop going home with him when i'm drunk. if he is generally interested in me do you think he will contact me? i think i have done enough to let him know that i am interested but maybe he thinks i am just intersted in hooking up too.. i don't know. what should i do? just totally lay off and let him do what he wants with the situation? or am i just wasting time because he might just want a fling and that is all.... but really is there any way i can change that or is the situation too far gone?
Green Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 And this situation is one of the many reasons I'm glad to be a man. I say just lay off and move on with your life, who knows what he thinks. He'll call or txt asking to see you if he's interested. You never hooked up and you did say he stopped you when you tried to take things further. If you do see him again don't get drunk.
Lucasarts Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 interesting...he didnt want to have sex with you huh? i would def keep going out as it is his way of meeting you face to face and hes not much of a texter (or a phone conversationalist) . I'd maybe start trying to make him jealous, as it is obvious he isnt trying to take advantage of you and hes probably feeling you out to see if you're maybe girlfriend material? i dont know honestly, but if hes not much a talker, hes probably not as obvious or willing to show his emotions.
GIVIN IT TO YOU STR8 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Stop Calling Us Men Like To Do The Chasing If He Does Not Chase You It Is Not Because He Is Shy, It Is Because He Does Not Want To
Author mizzy_C Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 no i'm not going to call him but on weekends should i stop going to places i know he is going to be or should i just go there and hang out and see what he does? i won't go home with him any more
Green Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 no i'm not going to call him but on weekends should i stop going to places i know he is going to be or should i just go there and hang out and see what he does? i won't go home with him any more Just do what ever you normaly do, only avoid him if you think its going to ruin your night. He'll contact you and want to spend time if he's interested. He should relise your interested by now, if you want to send him a txt "I enjoy time with you" then never anything else just wait and see and move on.
kymberann Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I wouldn't stop going to the same places. Just play it calm cool collected. See what happens. Don't expect anything or you will dissappoint yourself! Best!
Author mizzy_C Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 i think he is a very reserved and relaxed person and maybe he just wants to take it easy because i mean when we were both drunk the thing that surprised me was he did not try to sleep with me and actually stopped me from taking it farther---when i have heard from other people that he would take girls home and sleep with them--but that was a few years ago from what i know. i guess i could just see where he wants to take it but im not going to expect too much because from what i see hes definatly not in a rush for any thing........or maybe he doesnt want anything from me anyways... its hard to tell
Lee725 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 am i just a total fling to him or what? i kind of want a boyfriend and i don't know if it's too late to turn this situation around because i have already spent two nights with him and given him the impression that i am just a 'hookup buddy' and i really want to change that!!! i decided i'm not going to go out any more and stop going home with him when i'm drunk. If you havnt slept with him yet, i would call you a "hook up friend" not a hook up buddy. If he did not care for you he would not have left you alone in his house when he went to work. He would have called you a cab and made sure you had left when he did. if he is generally interested in me do you think he will contact me? i think i have done enough to let him know that i am interested but maybe he thinks i am just intersted in hooking up too.. i don't know. what should i do? just totally lay off and let him do what he wants with the situation? or am i just wasting time because he might just want a fling and that is all.... but really is there any way i can change that or is the situation too far gone? Let it runs it's course, but dont sleep with him. It is OK to go to sleep next to someone, i do it with my best mate all the time when she stays over (i live in a one bedroom place so she sleeps with me - i am not gay, we just have a close friendship) It's not all over, it's not ruined and at this point all i can see is two people getting to know one another. You can send him a random txt if you like "how are ya?", kind of stuff, keep it friendly and see where it goes. Unless there is something i miss-read or didnt understand about your post, i think you might be over-analyzing the situation a little too much.
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