Chesleyfan Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 Hey y'all, So I met this girl at an online dating site. We exchanged a series of e-mails, and instant messages, and several phone calls over the past week or so. I really enjoy talking to her, and she thinks I'm both funny and really cute. The photos of her from the dating website had her looking very cute, too. However, I really wasn't sure if it was going to go anywhere, so I wanted to meet in person to see if there was any real spark, or not. We began talking about meeting in person, and that's when she sent me some additional photos to "see if I was still interested." These photos show that she is a bigger girl. And I hate to admit it, but some of my interest in her evaporated at that point. I mean, I do look girls who actually have some meat to them, rather than sad-looking stick figures; but she's not so much curvy as she appears large. I still agreed to meet with her; I didn't want to just give her the cold shoulder, and I figured that I'll never really know if I don't at least get a chance to hang out with her. But at the same time I just feel like nothing will come of it. And I feel rather bad that the reason I started losing interest was because of her body; otherwise, she seems like a nice person with a solid outlook on life. If things ultimately don't go anywhere, is there any way I can say "Thanks, but no thanks" without making it obvious that I don't find her physically attractive?
Pyro Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 Hey y'all, So I met this girl at an online dating site. We exchanged a series of e-mails, and instant messages, and several phone calls over the past week or so. I really enjoy talking to her, and she thinks I'm both funny and really cute. The photos of her from the dating website had her looking very cute, too. However, I really wasn't sure if it was going to go anywhere, so I wanted to meet in person to see if there was any real spark, or not. We began talking about meeting in person, and that's when she sent me some additional photos to "see if I was still interested." These photos show that she is a bigger girl. And I hate to admit it, but some of my interest in her evaporated at that point. I mean, I do look girls who actually have some meat to them, rather than sad-looking stick figures; but she's not so much curvy as she appears large. I still agreed to meet with her; I didn't want to just give her the cold shoulder, and I figured that I'll never really know if I don't at least get a chance to hang out with her. But at the same time I just feel like nothing will come of it. And I feel rather bad that the reason I started losing interest was because of her body; otherwise, she seems like a nice person with a solid outlook on life. If things ultimately don't go anywhere, is there any way I can say "Thanks, but no thanks" without making it obvious that I don't find her physically attractive? You said that you enjoyed talking to her so at least take her out somewhere and see how it goes. If you still can't get past her weight problem, then just tell her that you didn't feel any connection/chemistry with her.
brothermartin Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 No. There isn't. No matter what you tell her she's gonna know the truth now because she knows you've seen what she really looks like. Sorry man. But hey, looks arent everything. You might find yourself taken by her anyway! Give it a chance without dwelling on physical appearance, then decide.
brothermartin Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 You said that you enjoyed talking to her so at least take her out somewhere and see how it goes. If you still can't get past her weight problem, then just tell her that you didn't feel any connection/chemistry with her. Her weight isn't her problem, it's his.
Pyro Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 Her weight isn't her problem, it's his. I know its his problem.
whichwayisup Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 See how it goes when you two actually meet face to face. Maybe you will still like her and find her attractive...I mean how large is she? Like 200+ pounds or just abit chunky?
brothermartin Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 I know its his problem. I think we need a pic of this girl to make a more accurate determination of your situation and to help you figure out the best way to approach this. Would you agree Riddler?
Pyro Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 I think we need a pic of this girl to make a more accurate determination of your situation and to help you figure out the best way to approach this. Would you agree Riddler? Couldn't hurt. Lets see a picture Chesleyfan.
Green Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 you act like you've never turned a women down before? is this the first time? Don't feel bad she's shallow herself putting those skinnier pics up then sending you fatter ones. look you might find you like her in person so if you feel like it, just do something quick like meet for a cup of coffee, and that way you have a small chat and if you dont like her after about 10 or 15 min of chatting say nice meeting you and good bye. Then just dont call her or text her any more, and if she IM messages her, you dont have to turn her down... If shes trying to make you go to dinner with her, or you have to drive far to meet her I say move on. Try to do less chatting online next time and just meet in person asap.
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