Prevent Long Distance or Go for Goals

[singwings]

[font=century gothic][color=green] Hi, I have this delema. I have been trying to decide if it would be better for me to stay near where I live to go to college or to go to whatever college is best for me. Here is my situation: I have not lived where I live for my whole life. I grew up somewhere else and I love where I am from. I don't like where I live but it mat just be this part of the state. If I go to a college which would be in a different city it may be better. If I did that, I would be able to stay closer to my long term boyfriend(we plan to marry) and my parents. Other than the fact that my boyfriend is here, I really do not want to stay. He feels like he needs to stay because he is a father and his baby is here. I support him in what he does and I love him very much. I understand why he wants to stay, I'm just not sure what I should do.

I haven't found a college here that looks worthy of my ideal college, and it may not be a good idea to stuy what I want to major in here. But I don't want to be away from him.

It is likely that I will be in college for 4 years. That is a long time to not see him everyday. Versus, I could be here and see him almost every weekend or more and be much more involved with each other and our relationship can grow.

I really want to the college that's best for me, and the college that I want to go to is great in so many ways. It is where I want to be, if I go there I am likely to be with my bestfriend again, it is all around great. (except for not being with my boyfriend)

He will be getting a good college education if he stays here and goes to the college he wants to go to but mine would be kinda *blah* and that's not what I want for myself as far as college goes and my career, but my career is not more important than my happiness with the man I love, yet sadly and realistically relationships can change but where you went to college can't, but furthermore where I go could decide if our relationship stays together or not.

Please help me by giving your opinion and why you think that way. Thank you so much.[/color][/font]

[Tony T]

It's not what's important to us, it's what's important to you.

 

I feel at your age you should go to the college that most suits you. As you said in your last sentence, relationships can rot but your education sticks with you all your life.

 

You also have to understand clearly that your relationship could deteriorate over four years and you could easily meet someone at college you are far more compatible with. A lot can happen in four years and I don't think that's bad.

 

I think you ought to look out for yourself. You're only young once. As long as you clearly understand the downside, you will never be able to regret that you didn't go to the college you wished to attend and matriculated in the curriculum of your choice.

 

If you were meant to be with your fiance forever, that will happen no matter where you go. Remember, too, that he could also meet someone else in the meantime. It works both ways.

 

Go to the college of your choice and let the romance work out in what ever direction it will go. You'll be much better off that way. Study hard, and think about getting an advanced degree. In the coming years, a bachelors degree in college won't mean a whole lot.

 

You can get husbands anytime...but attending college is much easier at this stage of your life.

 

Good luck.

[clia]

Go to the very best college you can get into for your degree program, wherever that may be. Trust me. Do not base this decision on a guy. It is too important of a decision. This is one of your major life decisions!

 

I've been where you are--I had been dating my boyfriend for about two years, we were talking marriage, and I decided to go to school four hours away because that was the program for me. We got to see each other a couple times a month, wrote letters, talked on the phone, you name it, and then around the time when I turned 21, I realized that we were not as compatible as I thought. It wasn't that I didn't love him--I did. I just did not see us together for the long term anymore.

 

When you are 18 and starting college, you really think you know what you are going to want out of life. Let me tell you--you don't. You have no idea how you are going to change and grow from the age of 18-22. It's insane.

 

If this relationship is meant to be, it will last no matter where you are.

 

Please don't base this decision on him. Take him out of the picture for thirty seconds and think about where you would go. Then, go there!

 

Trust me!