SYRACUSE03 Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 I'm sorry this is long but I just wanted to vent. I've been reading and posting for the last few months and I see so many destructive patterns by the posters. We all need some guidance, advice or a cyber-shoulder to cry on which is fine. However, I see many of us asking the same "what if" questions but in different ways. Each situation is different. Only you know what will work for you. Just my own experience...read some posts, absorb some information, clear your head, then decide what action to take. What is good for me may not be for you. We all have regrets, second thoughts, things we could have changed, but we didn't. Learn from the process. As each moment passes, we reflect on what we cannot change. Let's focus on what we can change, and that is our future. Most of us were hurt by our ex. We either want them back, want to know how to do, wonder why they did what they did, etc. I am just as guilty. I log on to see some new topics and try to give a little back if I can. I am far from an expert (being the dumpee most of the time) but sometimes common sense should show its face. Our common goal is to break through this sorrowful time and come out of this stronger than before. 1. Remember, you cannot make someone stay or for that matter, make them love you. 2. Why would you want someone back who doesn't love you? 3. If you were never respected in your past relationship, now is the time to start. Not tomorrow morning or next Tuesday...now. 4. Remember that your ex was attracted to you for a reason so someone will be attracted to you again. 5. I deserve better, you deserve better, we deserve better. 6. It is ok to miss, cry, an long for your ex. It's natural and part of the healing process. Just do not let it consume you. I am just as guilty but I am getting better each day. 7. Just to put things in perspective, many of us are hurt but there are people who never experienced love, had a home, a family, a good job, money in their pocket, etc. Someone, somewhere always has it worse than us. 8. Do what is right for you, NC, LC, prayer, texting, calls, etc. Just have a clear mindset and understand the consequences before you decide to act. I can go on an on but we should get the point. I would like to personally thank all of the posters who commented on my issues while putting their own on the backburner. Some of you had tremendous insight which was amazing. I wish everyone the best of luck in 2008 and beyond to get through their problems. After we get through it, the next wave of LS posters will take our place. I have seen some extremely attractive women (by their pictures-if it's real) and if their personality matches their appearance, I guarantee they will be just fine. Guys need to get their swagger back to attract these beautiful women. I know we'll get there. Again, best of luck to all and I hope that each broken hearted person finds someone who will make them feel like everything they have ever gone through was worthwhile.
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