CCNWV Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Disclaimer...been drinking...sorry in advance... Went to the Dr. yesterday and found I have an inflamation that could be due to a STD. Being that I'm been monogomous (sp) for the last 7 years I called my potentially X wife at work and probed a bit. Couldn't really wait till she got off work, I'm sure you understand. If you've read my original post, you know she recently had an affair. I needed to know if the sex they had was "safe" and if she was having any "issues" down there. She broke down because I addressed this while she was at work and brought her to tears. Sorry, but I have a RIGHT to know what happened when it affects my health! To bad if it hurts your feelings, I didn't make you spread your legs! So she's been pissed at me since, not wanting to talk. How the hell is this my fault! All though out our relationship I've been apologizing for this and that. Now I'm apologizing for upsetting her at work! WTF! She SCREWED another man and has yet to be remorseful. It's, as always, all my fault! So sick of this, I've been swallowing humble pie trying to reconcile this disfuntional relationship. She should be the one eating crow everytime I need to bring up her affair. Gahhh, need to scream at someone...can't wait for my therapy on Tuesday. Sorry for airing this here, don't have anywhere else to let it out.
s_n_d Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 This isnt your fault at all so dont even think it is. Its all her fault.
Nomad1 Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 Guilt is a complex thing. The guilty party is automatically on the defensive and uses different strategies to validate his/her behaviour. Expect that other unrelated issues will be brought up from the past. Expect that she will build a wall around her, will become distant and cold. Expect that she may even ask for the divorce. You MUST stay calm at all costs. Plan your next course of action when you are sober. Your relationship is doomed. Not only did she cheat on you, she also endangered your health. Go and get yourself checked. You could sue her for this. My friend this relationship is doomed. LEAVE HER NOW. Spare yourself the agony. If you don't end the relationship she will eventually do it for you. Take care Nomad1
Jordane Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 What exactly are you apologizing for? For taking her back after she went and cheated on you or for contracting an STD from you cheating wife? How dare she give you the silent treatment...she is WAY out of line.
scottster007 Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 I just had that same conversation with my stbx yesterday. It was important that I know when the last time she had unprotected sex with jerk so I could inform the doctor when I got tested that day. She didn't get upset and told me it was about a month ago. Even if she did get upset, I would remind her that she put my life at risk. My Life! Plus I'm going through the uncomfortable tests so she doesn't have to. She should be thanking me for that. Like that was fun!
whichwayisup Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 So she's been pissed at me since, not wanting to talk. How the hell is this my fault! All though out our relationship I've been apologizing for this and that. Now I'm apologizing for upsetting her at work! WTF! She SCREWED another man and has yet to be remorseful. It's, as always, all my fault! Okay, maybe it wasn't such a great idea to have that conversation with her while she was at work, but oh well, part of the price and consquences she must suffer by cheating. She's an adult and she could have sucked it up and talked to you once at home. Instead, she's pulling bullcrap on you. DO NOT PUT UP WITH THAT!! She SCREWED another man and has yet to be remorseful. Until she shows any remorse, regret, and wants to make everything right again, to prove she IS trustworthy again, things will stay as they are with very little effort on her behalf. Question is, how long are you going to sit around and take it? Are you going to talk to her, even though she isn't willing to talk to you? How about write her a letter, put in what you've said here and make her see that you are getting fed up with her behaviour and the way she is treating you.
Recommended Posts