DJ Dancer Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I let my ex get away with treating me like crap and not standing up for myself! I just broke it off agreeing with what he was saying which he was right, but I let him go freely with out telling him what I was really feeling and why I was also breaking up with him! I didn't say anything because I was afraid he would be so mad and not want a friendship with me and that he wouldn't care about my feelings or that he wasn't meeting me half way in the relationship... I'M SO MAD AT MYSELF!!!!!! I have never been the type of person to speak what I'm feeling especially when i'm hurt! what do I do??
Author DJ Dancer Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 Love shack is the only people here that will listen to me vent about my situation even though its been 9 months since the break up! My birthday is next week and I don't want to feel guilty for breaking up with him, and thinking that he is mad and hurt when he won't even speak to me...I appreciate you guys on this board for listening and giving honest advice..
confuse80 Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 darling, he treats you like crap, what more can you said? just let him go, move on for the best, you dont want that kind of people in your friendship line, remember if you be with positive people you will feel good but if you be with negative person you will feel crap at the end and you dont want that. my ex treats me like crap and I feel so angry and decided that enough is enough, I dont want to wait anymore or cry anymore for him because he is an as***** and I deserve better treatment than that. remember you still have ppl in LS that will support you. dont give up. it is not your fault! NC will do you good, just dont talk to him anymore, let him think what his mistake is, if not he will never learn and he will aways get away treating you like **** which you dont want that.
Ronni_W Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I have never been the type of person to speak what I'm feeling especially when i'm hurt! what do I do?? You could consider some assertiveness training and/or exploring what it is that holds you back from standing up for yourself -- what makes it "easier" to not speak out, what are you afraid might happen if you do express your hurt feelings?, etc. If it feels like too much to handle on your own, a counselor could be really helpful in uncovering and resolving things to your satisfaction. Best of luck.
Author DJ Dancer Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 darling, he treats you like crap, what more can you said? just let him go, move on for the best, you dont want that kind of people in your friendship line, remember if you be with positive people you will feel good but if you be with negative person you will feel crap at the end and you dont want that. my ex treats me like crap and I feel so angry and decided that enough is enough, I dont want to wait anymore or cry anymore for him because he is an as***** and I deserve better treatment than that. remember you still have ppl in LS that will support you. dont give up. it is not your fault! NC will do you good, just dont talk to him anymore, let him think what his mistake is, if not he will never learn and he will aways get away treating you like **** which you dont want that. Thank you alot! by you saying that makes me feel better..but when being ignored you automatically think "what did I do wrong?" or "Is he/she mad at me for some reason?" And that is what I feel and I know I shouldn't feel like that and I know I couldn't have hurt or done anything wrong to him for I have rocked my brain since the break up wondering what did I do? But still today this day I only came up with one option that he is mad and hurt that I broke up with him....
confuse80 Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 he ignore you because he doesnt care about you, dont you get it? he is mad because he cant get away on doing what he's been doin which is treating you like crap. you dont want that and before he realise it himself he will never change and you too better stay away because he will treat you like crap especially for breaking up with him. men got his ego and you distroy it (good on ya! i am proud of you!), they need that kick in the butt sometimes in their life to show that hey you did wrong thing and you need to change. dont worry, just let him go and dont worry about what he thinks and what he's feeling because he is not doin the same. think postive, think that from now on everything will be alright and you dont need negative things in your life.
Author DJ Dancer Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 he ignore you because he doesnt care about you, dont you get it? he is mad because he cant get away on doing what he's been doin which is treating you like crap. you dont want that and before he realise it himself he will never change and you too better stay away because he will treat you like crap especially for breaking up with him. men got his ego and you distroy it (good on ya! i am proud of you!), they need that kick in the butt sometimes in their life to show that hey you did wrong thing and you need to change. dont worry, just let him go and dont worry about what he thinks and what he's feeling because he is not doin the same. think postive, think that from now on everything will be alright and you dont need negative things in your life. Yea your right! Never looked at it that way on him being upset because he can't get over on treating me wrong! And I thought of it him probably being mad at the fact that I let him go and that it bruised his ego...my mom and sister been telling me that for the longest that he doesn't care and that he is not a real man because if he was he would have enough decenty to speak back even to say leave me alone but I tried to brush it off and beleive he did care and was a man but I see he isn't!
Author DJ Dancer Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 You could consider some assertiveness training and/or exploring what it is that holds you back from standing up for yourself -- what makes it "easier" to not speak out, what are you afraid might happen if you do express your hurt feelings?, etc. If it feels like too much to handle on your own, a counselor could be really helpful in uncovering and resolving things to your satisfaction. Best of luck. Thanks..I know I really need to work on standing up for my feelings and myself!
Author DJ Dancer Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 You deserve so much better. Thank you! I know I do and I know he WILL find me..and treat me like a queen!
s_n_d Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Thank you! I know I do and I know he WILL find me..and treat me like a queen! Amen to that!!
Author DJ Dancer Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 My thoughts are making me feel like he won't realize that he did wrong and hurt me because I broke up with him..meaning like I should be the one asking for a second chance when I didn't do anything wrong or breaking up with was a mistake...I don't want to feel this way because I want him to realize and see what his mistakes was in the relationship..I already realize what mistakes I made in the relationship on my behalf not on what I did to him because I didn't do anything...Does anyone get what im saying and how Im feeling?? Its like I'm the one that should be feeling bad because I BROKE up with HIM...Should I feel like that??
s_n_d Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I understand how your feeling. But YOU broke up with him. Its possible he thinks you say fault in the relationship and didnt want to be with him, period.
confuse80 Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 no no no dont ask for second chance. he will have his ego back, dont do that unless you want to hurt yourself. let him go for a while, if he does loves you he will not screw around getting new gf and stuff, if he does that then he really dont want to be with you anymore. and why would you want him back after all the hurts?
Author DJ Dancer Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 no no no dont ask for second chance. he will have his ego back, dont do that unless you want to hurt yourself. let him go for a while, if he does loves you he will not screw around getting new gf and stuff, if he does that then he really dont want to be with you anymore. and why would you want him back after all the hurts? Because I cared for him so much! but your right why would I want that back???
Author DJ Dancer Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 Its possible he thinks you say fault in the relationship and didnt want to be with him, period. What do you mean when you said that???
s_n_d Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I meant that Breaking up with him was your mistake. You should have sorted it out while you were together. And if he still couldnt be there for you then you should have broken up with him. Now, youve lost him and hes being stubborn by not talking to you anymore.
Author DJ Dancer Posted January 6, 2008 Author Posted January 6, 2008 So you saying I made a mistake??? even though I did try and figure out what was up with us...the night before we thought he was leaving he stood me up on a date we made earlier that day, then the night before he leaves he goes out with his friends instead of spending time with me some that day, I didn't mind him going out with his friends but what about ME as your girlfriend?? Then he leaves and doesn't tell me goodbye doesn't tell me he made it safely home going several days with out a word from him UNLESS i spoke first...I mentioned to him he wasn;t acting like my boyfriend and he didn't SAY anything back...now you tell me would you say it was a mistake on my behalf for breaking up with him??
s_n_d Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 No im not justifying what he did. What he did was unfair and stupid. But you should have talked it through and worked it out while you were together.
Author DJ Dancer Posted January 6, 2008 Author Posted January 6, 2008 No im not justifying what he did. What he did was unfair and stupid. But you should have talked it through and worked it out while you were together. BELIEVE ME I tried calling him to talk to him he either rushed me off the phone or didn't answer the phone and didn't return my call...but don't you think by me telling you what I was feeling like about the relationship and how you not meeting me half way and that it wasnt fair for me to be doing ALL the work and you don't get a response back I was trying to talk to him about by speaking what I felt and trying see what he wanted and felt and i dont get RESPONSE back...And he had doubts about the relationship when i asked did he want to be with me..So do you still say I made a mistake by letting him go? When I didn't want to but I wasnt getting any feedback on his behalf...
s_n_d Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 If you loved him, then Id say you made a mistake..Yes. But..You did have the right to tell him everything that was bothering you in the relationship...
confuse80 Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 its is not your mistake, you tried your best in your relationship but there is time when enough is enough, i had enough with my ex because there is nothing wrong with me. and there is nothing wrong with you, he is just a a**, forget about him girl, dont hurt yourself, you deserve the best.
confuse80 Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 If you loved him, then Id say you made a mistake..Yes. But..You did have the right to tell him everything that was bothering you in the relationship... i have to disagree with you, this guy is a di** and he hurts her badly, why would she has to beg for his forgiveness? as I said he will not learn his mistake and his ego will get bigger and bigger and he will never never never going to respect her. remember we are talking about men here! she told her everything that bothering her but he just doesnt want to listen, enough is enough girl, dont hurt yourself anymore!!!!
Author DJ Dancer Posted January 6, 2008 Author Posted January 6, 2008 If you loved him, then Id say you made a mistake..Yes. But..You did have the right to tell him everything that was bothering you in the relationship... Yeah I fell in love with him...but when you don't get a response on you telling someone how you feel would you keep expressing your feelings to someone that won't even consider or say anything on what you feel??? I believe he knew that I was in love with him because he was liek you fell in love with me but I said no I didn't because I didn't want to believe it myself that i fell in love with someone after only barely a month of dating... I felt that I just REALLY liked him alot but not in love with him but then I asked him a few days later did he think I fell in love with him and he was like nope..
s_n_d Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 Thats not what i meant. I meant if she loved him she should have done EVERYTHING possible to fix things with him. And it seems she did try talking to him bout all of it but he didnt listen.
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