ebonyjade Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Hey ya'll, After reading some of the posts I have decided to tell a lilttle of my story. The man who I have been waiting for, for nearly a year was just a load of s hi te .... we were all set to get back together then when we were in bed he informs me he has a new girlfriend the time we were apart. I asked him before that time are u still single and he was like yeah!!! He wanted to keep us both hanging on and when I reacted bad ( told him it was all over) he goes and ends his relationship with this other girl. That for me is not enough I always vowed not to take any crap off men after previous bad relationships. I am now trying this N \ c thing. Do you really think it works??? I have surprised myself alot walking away and I feel so much better for doing it but I am finding it hard when I get I love you and missed calls. I am pissed that I wasted a good part of a year pining and my college work suffered. Could do with some morell out there Cheers Guys Ebony xx:eek:
Chiquita27 Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I think that you have to ask yourself what's the purpose of your NC. Is it to be able to move on, or is it to make him miss you and want you back? Then you will decide if it works or not. I'm doing the NC right now. But in my case I want it so that I am able to stop hurting and being confused so much. Being around him makes me feel pain and reminds me of my feelings for him. Being around him makes me act up on him and give him attitude and be bitchy when I see that he doesn't want me. So I rather stay away and start to move on.
Ronni_W Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I am now trying this N \ c thing. Do you really think it works??? I'd say whether it "works" or not is dependent on your personal goals -- what do you hope to get out of N/C? -- how will it benefit you? It can either prove (a) absence makes the heart grow fonder, or (b) out of sight, out of mind. N/C isn't the be-all and end-all that DEFINITELY can help you get over and move on. And it's no guarantee that the other person will miss you or come to sudden realization that they GOT to have you in their life, either. So...why DID you decide that N/C was a good course of action? The answer to that will help you determine if it'll work for you.
s_n_d Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 It doesnt always "work" but its always worth a shot. Assuming you want to move on OR Your ex to miss you.
PLAYBRAT Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 Using NC works as long as the other person still has an iota of interest in you romantically. If they dont NC is good for healing yourself and not becoming an emotional basketcase when you see them, talk to them or hear about them. The best bet is to completely disappear from someones life for a good year..IF you eventually want to be "friends" with them. I have found that by a certain period....I lost any and ALL urges to ever talk to them again once enough time and distance had passed. By then all I felt was indifference.
Lee725 Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 Did he want the "break", or did you break up and then meet back up with the intent of getting back together? PlayBrat has made some really valid comments there, if he does not care for you romantically, then the NC will be about you. NC is really hard, but if you know he isnt right for you, then push on and you will get past the urges.
Author ebonyjade Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 hey guys, Thanks so much for your advice... I am gonna sticke with this N/C I feel so much better and I not thinking of him all the time. I have changed my number and really am looking forward to moving onwards and upwards. I am just glad that all the hassle is over and I dont have to keep watching my phone and worrying if no reply to my messages. Heres to an easy going 2008 with a new nice man on the horizon!!!! all my love Ebony - jade xxxx
timjones0674 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 The NC approach will almost universally work if you can truly understand one thing. That is to truly make someone stay in Love with you, you must always be willing to walk away at any point. Meaning, if you truly are OK with not talking to him for years, then yes he probably will come back because he will start to chase at some point. If you end up not talking to him for a couple weeks and then in desperation try to contact him, then the gig is up and he will know exactly what you are doing.... Good Luck!
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