beetlebum Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I was good friends with a girl for a bout year, we moved to a new area to start university together and of course met a new group of people and became friends with them. Thing is when we had to move into private housing the following year she initally asked me to move in with her but then changed her mind and told me that she wanted one of her new friends to move in with her. I was surprised and felt a bit let down but tried to reamin friends with her. After that incident it seems that she was starting to pick at everything i said and tried to find fault with it. i met a guy at this time so was starting to spend a bit more time with him, but i still made the effort to spend time with her. A year later and now i hardly see her. When i do see her she either runs off or we pretend to ignore each other, why do some friendships go to pot, especially if you feel that you used to get on so well??
roxy_1980 Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Sometimes, we just need different things from different people at different points of our lives. It's not that anyone did anything worng, it's just that in university people tend to change alot and therefore may change their friends. Not everyone stays friends their entire life.
SeraBella Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 A lot of times it happens as a result when one of the two starts seeing someone. Perhaps she felt like you were neglecting her, or you just were spending time with her less and she started to replace that time with another friend. If she felt like you were blowing her off for a new guy, she may resent you. Or it could be a little bit of jealousy. It could be a mix of those things...or it could just be time that things move on. Few people stay with you for your entire life. Some friends come and go, and throughout most people's entire lives they only have a handful of really good friends. Also, I don't know if you are still friends, but if you still talk and such you could consider this a blessing. Quite often living together breaks up friendships rather than bringing them closer. You can still be very good friends without living together. And if you do remain friends, I'm sure you'd realize this when she starts to vent about her roommate.
All2u Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 It's simple, you don't fit into her new agenda. She thinks you are a hazzard to something she is trying to achieve, sounds like ranking, calibur, etc. You may have a very superficial person on your hands. Be glad you found out early. As they say, even wipe the dust of her doorstep from your feet as you leave her in the past! Don't sweat it! I was good friends with a girl for a bout year, we moved to a new area to start university together and of course met a new group of people and became friends with them. Thing is when we had to move into private housing the following year she initally asked me to move in with her but then changed her mind and told me that she wanted one of her new friends to move in with her. I was surprised and felt a bit let down but tried to reamin friends with her. After that incident it seems that she was starting to pick at everything i said and tried to find fault with it. i met a guy at this time so was starting to spend a bit more time with him, but i still made the effort to spend time with her. A year later and now i hardly see her. When i do see her she either runs off or we pretend to ignore each other, why do some friendships go to pot, especially if you feel that you used to get on so well??
StareIntoTheSun Posted January 9, 2008 Posted January 9, 2008 i don't think either of you are in the wrong, from how you explained it. it's rough... but sometimes people just drift apart. that's what growing up does to us. we realize that at certain points in our lives we want different things than we wanted in the past, and people that were once able to give us these things just aren't able to anymore. It has nothing to do with either of you being wrong, or a bad friend. It just means that maybe you guys have gotten all you can out of this friendship, and it's time to move on. It's a very hard thing to hear, and an even harder thing to deal with, but you never know what the future might bring. You might even start getting closer again as time goes on. You just never know with some things...
Yellowboy Posted January 10, 2008 Posted January 10, 2008 Yeah I don’t think you are at fault here to say the least. I’ve had similar experiences and it is unfortunate, but after you’ve done your best to keep in touch with them and still have this distance between you, there is nothing that can be done. Like a romantic relationship, if you push too hard, the other person will drift further apart. I consider myself a philanthropic person and maybe I expect too much from my friends and peers, but it still makes me feel disappointed that certain friendship were just that and nothing more. You are still in college so my advice is to find new people. I can tell you that a learning environment is a much better one than in a work environment to find new people constantly so do try to make use of the opportunity while you are still there.
Magnatolia Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Most likely she has changed herself which in turn changes the people she hangs out with. It could be that her new friends don't like you, or she feels that you wouldn't fit into the group.
bozwa Posted January 12, 2008 Posted January 12, 2008 Your lives are just taking you down separate paths. It unfortunately happens to all of us.
phattlewt Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 People tend to change in values. She may find someone or a group that she identifies with more than she identifies with you. If her friends play an entirely different ballgame than you, she may feel she needs to impress them by adapting and not re-living her old past.
Recommended Posts