redfathom Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 (edited) Okay like my thread title, I need all the help/advice I can get, so I am posting this in the marriage forum and sex and reproductive health forum. I am 25 and have been married for almost seven and a half years, my husband is the only man I have been with so you might think me naïve. Where to start? So my H and I just got done making love and when I went to clean up there was some blood, I told him I was bleeding and he said that he had blood on him also. When he was cleaning I saw three sores on the shaft of his penis, one towards the base on the front side, middle on the front side and a large one on the middle underside. I am not sure if sore is the right word, more like raw skin areas that were bleeding. Bleeding enough for their to be blood on me when cleaning up and a lot more then I was comfortable with. My H said that he noticed the sores the other day, when he was masturbating. He said a few days ago but I know he masturbated yesterday because I saw that he was on adultfriendfinder website and I asked him about this morning. He told me he never went to the site and that sometimes it’s a banner on the top of other porn sites. I took/am taking his word for it. So I have several questions: How common is it for men to rub themselves raw during masturbation, I know he has a big masturbation problem (it has caused problems in our marriage, sometimes still does) but how much would cause him to rub himself raw? He said it’s been dry (which it is with winter), could that be the cause? He said he did not use oils or lotion the last time he masturbated. Is it more likely not that he is raw but maybe has an STD? Should I be worried about this? Is it more likely that he is raw from sex with another partner (we have not had sex for two-three weeks before tonight)? This has never happened not even when we would have sex 5 times a day, he said it would be sensitive but this never happened. Should he go see a doctor and myself for that matter? Thanks for your help. Edited January 5, 2008 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed non-compliable codex....what a pain!
memnonayr Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I am a bit of a masochist. I have done it twice. But nowhere near that level of bleeding. And both times I stopped masterbating for quite a while to let myself heal.
Author redfathom Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 Sorry everyone for the messed up post, I tried to edit it. men, so should I be worried, I mean is this too much. I feel like it might be getting out of hand. Also, are you married? Should I be more worried since he is a married man?
memnonayr Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I would go to the doctor and get checked if I where you. Men double over in pain just thinking about being hit in the balls. Open sores is exessive. There may be something going on there.
Author redfathom Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 I guess it's hurt to get checked out. He said this has happened to him in the past and that he is just dry. I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but still, for this to happen and him to not think it's a big deal could mean he has an addiction that needs to be looked into.
Mr. Lucky Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I would go to the doctor and get checked if I where you. Men double over in pain just thinking about being hit in the balls. Open sores is exessive. There may be something going on there. Bingo! I'd wager that your H has herpes as the sores are a known symptom. Get thee first to a doctor and then to a lawyer ... Mr. Lucky
Author redfathom Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 Of the three skin irritations (I feel like sores defines them with out know what they really are) two of them go side to side (kind of like cuts) and are not round, none of them are bumby. I figure skate and sometimes my skates rubs on my ankle and rubs the skin away and one of the irritations looks just like that so I do belive that one COULD be chafing. I still think it would be great for him to see a doctor and for me to get tested for STD. I told him no sex and no masterbation until he heals. The weird thing is that I "have the flu" I quote that because I did not go to the doctor's, but I have a soe throat, sore muscles and had a fever for only a day earlier this week. Kind of weird which is another reason I should see a doctor. I hate to think the worse and I already think I am jumping the gun here.
memnonayr Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I don't think you are jumping the gun. The health of your spouse's genitals should always be a concerns. If its not an STD then you still have to worry about him getting an infection.
justpassingthrough Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 "been married for almost seven and a half years" "He said this has happened to him in the past and that he is just dry." So has this happened since you've known him, at all, ever? "He told me he never went to the site and that sometimes it’s a banner on the top of other porn sites." Uh, I don't think so. I've got my fingers crossed for you, but, man!, this looks like an STD to me. Get thineself to a doctor, ASAP.
Author redfathom Posted January 6, 2008 Author Posted January 6, 2008 I talked with him tonight and I asked him to get tested ASAP. I was not accusing him of anything but I told him I would feel better if he got tested. I also plan on getting tested next week. I explained that soem STD's can only be tested via a sore so he needed to get tested soon while there is a wound. He wanted to have sex tonight and started making out with me but I reminded him that sex was off limits until he got tested and we found out everything was okay. I also had a tallk with him about HPV and how some STD's can cause cervical cancer. I also told him that I get tested almost every year and he seemed shocked and I tried to explain that it's a good thing and nothing against our relationship.
Mr. Lucky Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 Redfathom: If he does have a STD, what does it mean to your marriage? Mr. Lucky
Author redfathom Posted January 6, 2008 Author Posted January 6, 2008 Good question. It depends on when he got it. If he cheated on me then it's a deal breaker. If he got it before we started dating, then I would be more understanding and supportive. My mom has herpes, she got it many years ago, after I was born and she has since remarried. I know that people can live a normal life with an STD and I would be supportive of that. But if he betrayed me and thus got the STD with the risk of giving it to me then our relationship would MOST Likely come to an end. it's so easy to decide what to do IF something was to happen but once it happen's it could be a different story. So I guess I really am not sure at this point.
Cobra_X30 Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 Sounds like he did it too hard too many times! Honestly, I dont think its an STD. My question is... why choose porn over your wife? Is it an availability issue? Is he just that lazy?
Author redfathom Posted January 6, 2008 Author Posted January 6, 2008 I think it's because he has likes that I can meet plus a little of what you mentioned.
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