Vnx37 Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Well ive never done this before, i dont know where to turn to or what to do so what the heck? Worth a try... My question is about my boyfriend. Even though I give him oral sex daily, which he enjoys very much he is reluctant to give any back to me. He was unwilling at first, but after some persuasion, I finally convinced him to do so. The first time was horrible, it was painful and didn't feel good at all. I thought, no one is good their first time (it was his first time performing). He has done it again, and i must say. IT SUCKED. I am very clean and careful about my body. I am considering talking to him about his "poor performance" but I am scared that he might get offended. At the same time, it really sucks to give and not receive. I would like to have a better sexual relationship with him, but I am unsure of how to approach it. I need help! Please! Thanks alot guys and gals... im pretty desperate about this.. not sure what to do...
Enema Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 So, all the while during this horrible oral sex you were giving him directions and tips? You were telling him what you like? You were giving him audible clues when he did something right? etc, etc.
randuff Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 When he does something you don't like tell him or he won't know and continue on. Tell him what to do. Say something like, I like it when you do "insert here" or "do this, it drives me nuts" and insert whatever you like. I consider myself to be quite good at oral BUT I didn't get that way on my own. Personally I like to ask the woman what she likes that way I do the right things.
dunstable Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 Sounds like he needed to be coaxed into giving you oral sex, which suggests he had a fear or dislike of it. Now he's tried it, hopefully he likes it, and all that remains is for you to teach him on how to do it the way you like it. It's very unsporting of him if he expects it but won't reciprocate.
Jordane Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 EVERYDAY?! What does he have to look forward to in the future? Anyway, you need to be more vocal...moan or what not when he does something right and if need be...squirm away when it hurts! I know my boyfriend definitely likes it when I give him directions durng sex and when I get into whatever we are doing during oral...the more vocal the better, try it with your guy.
malaclypse Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 EVERYDAY?! What does he have to look forward to in the future? Hm. I think it's quite normal. All my ex-GFs did it, and they were ok with it. Of course, the balance must be ok, that is, they must get their pleasure too... 'Artificially' limiting sex is imho a bad strategy used by controlling women...usually those who don't really enjoy sex themselves, and use it just as a bargaining tool. Anyway, you need to be more vocal...moan or what not when he does something right and if need be...squirm away when it hurts! I know my boyfriend definitely likes it when I give him directions durng sex and when I get into whatever we are doing during oral...the more vocal the better, try it with your guy. And if he doesn't get it with you making good and bad noises, just tell him. It's your pleasure that you miss when not being open with him about sex... On a side note, any guy that wants daily bj's but needs to be coaxed into giving something back is probably a selfish ******* and not worth your time...
patterns Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 I am considering talking to him about his "poor performance" but I am scared that he might get offended. At the same time, it really sucks to give and not receive. I would like to have a better sexual relationship with him, but I am unsure of how to approach it. I need help! Please! Thanks alot guys and gals... im pretty desperate about this.. not sure what to do... What is often suggested is that you focus on the positive. So rather than say "don't do that", say "do this", "can you move over there" and things like that. Don't give up, praise him for making the effort even though he wasn't initially keen. These things take practice!
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