paddy1971 Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 (edited) Hi Everyone I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I've met up with a girl on two occasions in December, and we seemed to have a good time and enjoy a lot of the same music, films and comedies. We were going to meet up between Christmas and New Year but she was ill for most of that period. We are meeting on Friday of next week but it will have been 1 month since we had last met. I am worried that we may have lost momentum as it has been a month since we have been out together. We have spoken a couple of times on the phone and still seem to get on but I was wondering how I should approach the date. I've bought her a DVD that she has said she would like as a late Christmas present as she had a rotten time over Christmas and was fed up for most of it. Do you think it would be ok to give her this gift or would it seem odd? Also, I am not sure how to approach things. At the end of the last date, we did kiss very very briefly on the lips but to be honest, I think that this was more an accident on her part rather than intentional as it was a quick peck. I really like her and enjoy her company ad don't want to put her off, but am not sure how she feels. As you may have gathered, I am not very experienced at dating even though I am 37. Also she has had one relationship that lasted for 12 years, whilst my longest relationship has been 5 months, although I was ill a lot in my twenties and lost all my confidence and this has taken quite a long time to get back. She knows my longest relationship has been 5 months so am not sure whether she thinks that I am not cut out for a long term relationship, which is what I am actually looking for. Sorry for the long post but I would really appreciate any advice or guidance that anyone can offer me, as I don't want to mess things up. Thanks Paddy Edited January 4, 2008 by paddy1971
Jordane Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 I don't think you have anything to worry about and the DVD is a nice gift that shows her you pay attention when she talks.
Author paddy1971 Posted January 4, 2008 Author Posted January 4, 2008 I don't think you have anything to worry about and the DVD is a nice gift that shows her you pay attention when she talks. Thanks Jordane - I thought it wouldn't be a problem but I get a bit paranoid due to lack of confidence in the past.
SeraBella Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 I think the dvd is a great idea...it shows you're thoughtful, paid attention, and it's not too expensive so it's not like you're trying too hard. And, while flowers are nice, it's something that is not traditional, and doesn't die. Just handle things the same as before. Sometimes a month seems like a long time, but it's really not. Time passes so quickly, so don't focus on that at all. Have a great time, best of luck to you!
Author paddy1971 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 Thanks for the advice serabella. I'm trying not to be too pushy as that has been a problem with me in the past. Hopefully she won't think that i'm pressuring her by giving her a dvd.
Jordane Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I highly doubt she would think you are pressuring her in any way and if she does, then she is definitely overexaggerating. Your problem probably is that you OVERANALYZE things, simple things such as this. Just be yourself(without all the overanalyzing) and you'll be fine.
Author paddy1971 Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 Hi Jordane - you are right - I do over analyse stuff. Believe it or not, I am a lot better than I used to be!! I guess I should just go with the flow and sees what happens. Not as easy as it sounds but it is the best way I guess.
Author paddy1971 Posted January 12, 2008 Author Posted January 12, 2008 Hi Everyone We met up last night (Friday) and it went really well. We had a good meal and the conversation flowed. I told her a couple of embarrassing things that have happened to me which she found funny and she told me a couple as as well. We went bowling and we both had a lot of fun and she really enjoyed it. At the end of the date, we did have another quick peck on the lips (we are getting closer but I didn't see the signs that she was ready for a proper kiss) and I gave her the DVD which she really liked and said that it was sweet of me and that she was touched. She also said that she would like to go out again when I asked if she fancied doing something again and I told her that I'd give her a call on Monday. Thanks to everyone who gave me advice - I found it all very useful and it did help my nerves, and taught me to live in the moment and try not to over analyse stuff. Many thanks Paddy
Author paddy1971 Posted January 12, 2008 Author Posted January 12, 2008 Aw, yay! Good for you! Hi Jordane - thanks so much for your advice and honesty - it really help ease my nerves and helped during the date.
Author paddy1971 Posted January 14, 2008 Author Posted January 14, 2008 Hi Everyone Just to let those who are interested know that I spoke to her tonight but she doesn't feel anything romantic towards me I'm a bit gutted to be honest but there you go. Thanks to everyone who gave advice and best wishes. Paddy
Jordane Posted January 14, 2008 Posted January 14, 2008 aw its ok...there are plenty more women out there who will be.
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