JamesR Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 First of all let me give you a little background. I am 16 and met my girlfriend on the internet when I was 11. We chatted online for years and became best mates. We grew closer and closer, and last year decided it'd be a good idea to meet. She lives about 90 minutes away. Things went great, and our long distance relationship was born. We have met roughly every other week since then, and hate chatted online everyday for the last 2 years (with the exception of when I went on holiday). We were very much in love. However, around September she told me she was not sure if she "loved me like she used to". We talked about things, and in less than a week things were back to normal. We have since been closer than ever. A couple of days ago, she said exactly the same thing. However, unlike last time, she seems relucant to speak to me. I realise now I did not react in the best way. I pleaded with her, but to no avail. She requested that I gave her some space, so I have blocked her on MSN with the intention of unblocking her next week. She is unaware of this to my knowledge. There are, in my opinion, several similarities from the episode in September with gives me some hope we can be together again. Like last time, she confesses she "still has feelings for me" but I do realise the chances of us being together again are slim. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated.
Jordane Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Did you ask her why she's had this change of heart?
Nevermind Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Hello James, first: there is always hope. Don't be discouraged. LDRs are far from easy. One of the biggest problems is surviving a crisis while you can't be together. Do you know of anything that happened to her or to your relationship that might have caused her to draw back? Did you talk less regularly or shorter time? Those things might bring her to question the entire relationship, without actual emotional decline. When you talked about things in Septembre, did you really talk about the issue or did you talk about how much you love each other? It seems that she is having the same problem, maybe she had the entire time but tried to ignore it. You are both very young and your life changes every day. I know you don't want to hear that, and I am not saying that you don't have a chance, just prepare yourself for the worst. After all, you have been friends for a long time. And you should try to keep her in your life, one way or another. Good luck to you! Keep us posted.
Author JamesR Posted January 4, 2008 Author Posted January 4, 2008 Thanks for the replies, I really appreciate it. Did you ask her why she's had this change of heart? Yes, I asked her both now and in September. Her reply both times was, put simply, "i dunno". I'm sure that was not the case - but I was unableto get more out of her. She's very shy and likes to keep her emotions to herself so I was half expecting that response really. Do you know of anything that happened to her or to your relationship that might have caused her to draw back? Did you talk less regularly or shorter time? We have talked just as much, until a couple of days before she told me. Then I noticed she responed with one word replies a lot, which was unlike her. She also did not say "I love you" etc. like she usually does. But before that, everything seemed fine. When you talked about things in Septembre, did you really talk about the issue or did you talk about how much you love each other? I think you may have hit the nail on the head there.
Nevermind Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 This is a common reaction, especially if you're not experienced in being with someone. Talking about problems is very difficult and you were trying to reassure each other about your love. That's great, but you really need to talk to her about the real issue. Tell her that you're prepared for everything, and ask her to tell you the problem. Because if she doesn't, there really isn't any way to solve it. Right?
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