wintercs Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Here is the background. I have been with my girlfriend for a few months. We are in love and we are very devoted to each other. I am in graduate school and she is in college; we both have one year left at our respective schools. After she graduates from college, she is thinking about graduate school, which I wholly support. So far, so good. Here comes the problem. We both go to school relatively close to each other and I plan on staying after I am finished with my school (job pretty much lined up plus it is very close to my hometown). Her hometown is about 4 hours away in a different state. She is looking at a variety of graduate schools, including some close to her own hometown. My concern is that our relationship, which has been nothing short of a god-send to this point, will sour if she ends up going to school that far away. My gut is telling me that this might be the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I know that right now is not the right time to seriously consider that. We both joke around about the prospect of our own family, house, etc. (yes, I know this is just innocent joking). I hate to be one of "those guys," but the thought of her being with another guy devastates me and she feels the same about me. We remind each other that "I'm all yours," etc, etc. Am I just being too much of a worry wart? Can anyone offer me any insights? Any suggestions? Thank you.
Lucasarts Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 ok first off, you only been goin out for a few months? you're thinking WAY TOO FAR AHEAD plus you're young, naive, carefree, and supposedly in love right now, so yes your brain is goin to be saying that this girl is everything (which i dont doubt she is right now) however you have to start looking at your future and ask yourself what you want to do. Go with your gut, as it is not as easily affected by the chemicals of attraction, love and raging hormones that your brain is constantly under. Look at the situation and ask yourself, would this really work out? and is it worth the trouble to make it work? Remember that this is your life, and although right now she seems to be the ONE for you, she can also be the worst thing to happen to you 4 months down the road. Love is unpredictable and the only thing you can do is prepare for what may come. I think you're worrying too much right now, and should confront this problem when the time comes (when you both finish school). Right now, enjoy each others company and be happy, because this worrying will affect the happiness of your relationship till then.
Author wintercs Posted January 4, 2008 Author Posted January 4, 2008 Thank you very much for your advice. It's hard for me not to worry or over-analyze things, especially what happened in my last relationship. But I'm a bit confused as to your suggestions. On the one hand, you say not to worry about it, that it's too far down the road; on the other, you're saying to look at the future and figure out what I want to do. Could you explain what you meant by that? Thanks.
Lucasarts Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 ok sorry i sorta just let my mind wander ahead and my fingers try to keep up with the type I know that you wont stop worrying about it, we cant just forget something that means so much to us, it'll linger and drift in our minds. But when you are thinking ahead, you have to think if it is worth it and look to your future and how everything will work out. That is what i meant about looking ahead (because that is what you are doing right now, and worrying about it) The best thing though would be to not worry about it now, because it is not a problem right now. You have to enjoy the company you keep and be happy, because the worrying will only affect the relationship you have with this girl (for the worse). So try to focus on other things aside from how this relationship will be 6-7 months from now (if you can that is) and you will be a happier man. Confront this problem when it is time to confront it (now is not the time)
Author wintercs Posted January 4, 2008 Author Posted January 4, 2008 Ok, gotcha. I will work extra hard to stay positive. Thank you--best wishes.
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