confuzedgurl Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 my boyfriend broke wit me on new years....i dont even know the reason y he broke up but i feel it's all my fault... rite now...im pretty torn but i tell myslef that maybe this is a good thing...to teach me for next time but i just cant help but feel depressed and rejected... I personnally think that he left for another girl but he wont tell me. He says he loves me and wants to be with me as a friend.. I think he is liein..he already lied everything else... In the beginnin everything went great until before new years.. he went to one of his best female's friend's house....anyways...whenever i talk to him now... i get my hopes high thinin he wants to get back together but i know that's not possible anymore...i want to just forget him.... i considered hittin my head and gettin anmesia....
chili08 Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Hey you. First of all - i know how hard it is & i know what you're going through right now. It's not easy; infact, sometimes it can seem impossible - but believe me, if you can find a 'good' way of dealing with this it can help you so much. I'm in a similar situation as you. Lived with my girlfriend for 1 & half yrs. We were together for 3 yrs - she moved into my apartment after 9 months & everything was great. Recently she started accusing me of cheating with a mutual friend which i would never do & never have even thought about - these accusations then resulted in her moving out 3 weeks ago...no real reason apart from that & now very limited contact...it's horrible but there's certain things you've said in your post which i can relate to (even without knowing your full situation). First of all the timing. New Years Eve for you - i'm exactly the same (well it was closer to christmas but encompassed NYE..), completely gutted that they decided to do this during the period when you most want someone to share it with. Again, without knowing your full situation here's how i see it:- a) They did it for upmost impact. i.e. - they really want to hurt you / want you to come running back- FORGET IT - THIS IS A GAME - You're hurt & so are they. It's not fair & it's out of order - DON'T ANALYSE IT TOO MUCH - THAT TYPE OF BEHAVIOUR IS WRONG - If you loved someone would you truly want to spoil such a night ???? think about it. - personally, without knowing the full story - for someone to do that on NYE there's either some terrible history that's boiled to the top ?? or he's just a complete idiot...?? b) Right. Let's address the issue about someone else. What i will say first of all is this:- If he has left you for another woman then there's nothing you can do (sounds harsh ??) - have some self respect darling. If this is the case it will form part of his reputation - i know this isn't great comfort right now but it will come back to haunt him. If he's done it to you who's to say he won't do the same to every girl he meets ?? quite soon no woman will want to look at him. c) You said you're depressed & rejected (ok so 1st of all we'll look at depressed....) - WELL DONE !!! Cry & shout over this little **** - - - it's a human response !! You're upset because this relationship in someway or another actually meant something to you. Stay in bed - eat crap - watch soppy films - listen to love songs - reject invites to go out....It's normal - Deal with this in you own way. HOWEVER - there must be a limit & you must grieve but at the same time plan for the future.... d) Rejected. This just boils down to self esteem. simple. Whenever someone walks away from you , you feel worthless - question many things about yourself, hate your life?, how you look?, your job?, financial or home situation? ("i'll change, i promise")etc etc - STOP.STOP.STOP.STOP.STOP.STOP.STOP.STOP. Make changes your YOU & YOU only - if this has given you a kick up the arse then Good. Make those changes but do it for YOU & no-one else. e) 'Maybe breaking up is a good thing??"................... I love my ex deeply - I spent the best part of 3 years trying to make her happy. She has little family, my family (huge liverpool family !) accept her with open arms. She's insecure, She moves into my home (after 9months??) - pays no rent, i look after her, she doesn't like her job - i pull a few strings & get her a great marketing job ........... This still wasn't enough - she left me 2 day before christmas day ??? hey, maybe we just weren't compatible ? ! - everything happens for a reason. sorry for the long reply - you just hit a nerve. Good luck & best Wishes.... Joe.
jessbaby24 Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 I know how you feel.I wish i could forget my ex.I broke up with him today.It was one of the hardest things i had to do but its for the best. Its normal to feel depressed and angry when we lose someone we love.But time will heal your heart i promise you that.Do you have friends u can talk to when u feel the urge to call him or contact him.Thats the best thing to do is not contact him.You say everytime yall talk you feel like there's a chance you will be gettin back together. Dont count on it.He broke up with u which means he doesnt want to be with you sad to say.Tell him not to contact you anymore so u can start the healing process.
mc5 Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 The best advice I could tell you is to learn from this relationship and prepare for the next. "Second chances make great first impressions." m.c.
s_n_d Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I know how you feel. We all know.. The important thing is to hang in there and try to get your mind off him through working out or cooking or doing something you enjoy. Its been two months since my ex and I broke up and I STILL think about him all the time but when im feeling down because im missing him, I surround myself with my friends and family and my cat(hehe).
Lee725 Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 my boyfriend broke wit me on new years....i dont even know the reason y he broke up but i feel it's all my fault This is going to sound pretty left field but, i HATE it when people break up with others on "Special occasion" days and times of year. I know people have to do what they have to but it seems to taint that occasion forever, even years down the track you think back to that day because it is not like a date that passes without notice. The only good thing that can come out of this is that you now have a fresh year to begin with - 08' is not tainted. Like me you are going into the new year and you can say i have not had a boyfriend this year Dumb i know, but it does give me some happiness to know the year is new and i have the ability to make it a good year. im pretty torn but i tell myslef that maybe this is a good thing...to teach me for next time but i just cant help but feel depressed and rejected... These feelings will pass, although it is hard to know this now. You dont need to be taught anything (within reason). You are you and in your own right you are perfect - that is why there is only one of you. Mr. Right is just waiting in the wind, he will not reject you, he will not depress you, he will love you. I personnally think that he left for another girl but he wont tell me. He says he loves me and wants to be with me as a friend.. I think he is liein..he already lied everything else... The friend card rarely works and as was so well written by another poster on another thread (i wish i could rememeber exactly who wrote it and how it was written). Some men play the friend card as a way of saying "by telling you i want to be your friend, i can get rid of you without the crying and the tears and i can get on with my life". Being friends with him is only going to cause you so much more pain and heartache, at this point unless he is going to say "i want to work through this and be with you", there is little he can say to make you feel better. Anything he has to say is only going to raise more questions in your mind and hopes of recconcilliation. i get my hopes high thinin he wants to get back together but i know that's not possible anymore...i want to just forget him.... i considered hittin my head and gettin anmesia It is still so new and so raw, therefore this pain you are feeling is so strong. It will get better - trust me & all the others on here that have felt this pain you now endure. We are here for you, please remember that before hitting your head against anything LOL If only we could forget - how easy would that make it for us, but if we were to forget we would so easily lead ourselves down the same trodden path again and again.
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