lexi29 Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 How does one find a guy who doesnt' lie? Honestly, every guy I have ever dated has lied in some form or another. ex: when I was 16 I dated a guy two yrs older. very loyal very sweet. I gave him a gold ring of mine to wear to show we were dating. he wore it on a chain around his neck. One day I decided to switch the rings (I wanted the one he had back) I didn't tell him but I put a birth stone ring on his chain and took the gold one back. Well he thought he lost the gold ring I gave him so he came to me with the birthstone ring, told me he lost the other and he was sorry so he went out and bought me this birthstone ring to replace it!! (my ring) guy I was engaged to. We shared absolutely everything. new eachohter's deepest darkest secrets. Trusted him completely. This guy would never cheat on anyone. Total mr. nice guy. Well I thought I knew him until I found out he'd been lying to me for years about his porn addiction (I was fine with porn, even bought him some) but he was addicted to porn so badly that it affected our sex life and he told me he didn't watch it but maybe a few times a month and I found out that practically every second I wasn't aroudn he was surfing the internet for porn or watching ppv movies. guy I dated for about a year- this was a big one. found out he had a girlfriend the first two months he was dating me (was dating us both) I found out a year later from talking to her (long story). He lied about it the whole time and I never suspected. I mean this guy worked two jobs so I have no idea where he had the time to see us both since he spent a lot of time with me (and really did work two jobs) I have a guy friend who lied to his girlfriend about having a my space page (pretends he doesn't know what it is) and also lied to her about going to a wedding (was gone the whole weekend and told her he was studying) oh and most recent bf lied about taking a playstation game back to his female neighbor (told me her daughter came over and got it) same guy also told me everything in our relationship was great two weeks before he left me for his ex. (long story) all of these guys seem like good guys "on paper" none had histories of cheating, no trouble with law, all had steady good jobs and good work ethic. All treated me fantastically at the beginning of the relationship (and with the exception of the first guy and most current bf I broke up with them as soon as I found out about the betrayals. And in the case of the guy I was engaged to this was after investing several years with him. Why is it so difficult for people to just be honest? I mean if you aren't happy with your current bf/gf just leave them and find someone else. If you don't want to get married or have children say that up front not after dating awhile. IF you have this overwhelming need to look at porn every single day then tell the other person (esp if they don't lke porn) up front. and if you did something innocent that you suspect your bf/gf might not see as so innocent dont lie about it and make it worse! How do you find someone who doesnt' lie?
Author lexi29 Posted January 4, 2008 Author Posted January 4, 2008 And I'll admit I'm no saint. I've told white lies to my bf- I mean when he asks if him growing a beard looks good- no its horrible! I said well its ok but you look better without one- and when he asks if he's the smallest guy (in THAT dept) that I've ever been with (yes he is very small in that area) I tell him no he's average sized and I don't really remember the size of other guys I've been with. So yes, I do think there are some times you should lie or bend the harsh truth to avoid hurting people's feelings but thats it.
Lucasarts Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 well honestly, i dont know anyone who DOESNT lie but, the point is this...we all lie to one another because we are too afraid of the consequences of telling the truth. Unfortunately most of these lies are found out (over a period of time usually) and when they are, they just become even worse than if it never was a lie to begin with. I guess its just in human nature to try and protect ourselves from immediate harm by delaying it with a simple lie (we hear what we want to hear, not what it is). Anywho, reading about your history of BF's i dont think you'll ever find someone who doesnt lie to your face, but it's how you handle the lie and the truth behind it. Think of compromising with your significant other, or at least telling him straight up that regardless of anything he says, you cannot accept lying. Be straightforward about this as it seems that lying is something that you cannot tolerate, and regardless of how bad the truth may be, a lie will only make it 100 times worse. Other than that its hard to really know for sure how to stop someone from lying (unless you want to start reading up on how to read a liar (look for their eyes, their body movements, voice of speech, etc)) except to tell them how you honestly feel about it.
Recommended Posts