When does Infatuation cross the line to EA?

[fxj05]

I have asked this question in a thread about my situation but thought it might merit a thread on its own. Sorry if this has been covered before, but I couldn't find anything.

 

People here have told me that banter and flirting within an office environment is often acceptable, but were do you draw the line if one person is infatuated with another.

 

If there has been no intimate conversations or one on one contact and all that has happened is a bit of flirting, banter and juvenile carry on, such as practical joker type stuff, is this crossing the line?

 

What if the person is making an effort to impress the OM/OW by improving their appearance ie make up, perfume, losing weight, new clothes?

 

When they start making excuses for spending more time trying to get the OM/OW to notice them to the detriment of their spouse?

 

Or when they start denying that they are making an effort or having feelings for someone else?

[cj1988]

I believe that infatuation iis normal, but how far you go with it is the question. When you start sharing intimate details about your life with someone other than your S, that is crossing the line. When you start wanting to be around that person all the time, calling /e,ailing /texting everyday, that is crossing the line.

 

I have been with my H 13 years and he and I both can tell when we are infatuated with someone....we would tease one another and laugh, BECAUSE it was harmless and we knew the boundaries.....when you are having to keep a relationship, innocent or not, with the opposite sex from your S, that is crosiing the line......

[american-woman]

I think you already know that answer

[Planofool]

My wife works 3rd shift in a hospital. She was telling me about this doctor who is always hitting on her and saying things that is deffinately flirting. She told me about him rubbing her neck and shoulders and playing with her hair. I said I didn't approve of it and she said I didn't understand. They are all tired from delivering babies and he didn't mean anything about it. I told her she needed to tell him to stop or I was going to take care of it. She said I was making something out of nothing.

 

I asked her the famous Dr. Phil line.....would you do all of this if I was standing there watching? Is what you are doing okay for your spouse to watch or listen to? This will answer all your questions about flirting and when you have crossed the line.

When she had her affair over the phone I asked if she would have been okay with me listening to their conversations, and she thought for a minute then said no.

[LucreziaBorgia]

The line is crossed when the person decides to act on the infatuation, regardless of how 'harmless' that action may seem. By the time it affects the primary relationship, its already pretty far gone. Hard to come back from, as you well know from your W's various 'infatuations'.