joeyku Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 ok since my break up with my eX almost 6 months ago (august 21st) my life has been nothing but misery, i mean MISERY, i have no job, no car, no money, i tried the army, got rejected (yea), and i just CANT get over my eX, i still love her to the bottom of my heart heres the scoop... the pain seems to numb when i try to pretend she doesnt exist, but i know it happened and all, but i just CANT get over her... today i accidently saw her little myspace icon thing and it appears shes turned into what most would say... a slut, i cant stand seeing that... during the relationship i made her so happy and she returned the favor, until i asked her to marry me... in which scared her... i thought she would say yes to some signs she was displaying... but no... thats when the poop hit the paddles... then we broke up and i wanted her back but she ended up telling me to never talk to her again... and shes gone off BACk to her old self before i met her, heavy drinking, pot smoking, cig smoking... and shes been around quite a few guys and it kills me to think shes been... you know... but when i saw her icon, i bursted into tears... i want to be over her so badly and its been almost 6 months... im lonely, im depressed, i sleep too much, i eat too little, i want to die... it all boils down to losing her and seeing her self destruct... PLEASE someone help me, anything just please help me
confuse80 Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 do u have family or friends that can help you financialy? when my ex dump me i was homeless and no money and no job, I took shelter on my family's friend's place here (my family lives overseas). I still havent got a job yet but I do get money from the goverment to help me to buy food and paying rent. I know my ex doesnt worry about me, he only worry about himself. In my opinion your ex is a very irresponsible person who doesnt love herself. I dont know why you want to be with someone like that. I dont know why she doesnt want to marry you because that is a brave thing of you to do that, my ex chikened out when i talk about marriage. She just want to have fun in her life and doesnt care about anything anymore. She will regret that later in her life but maybe at the moment she just lost in her own world. I think you should just get your life back on track, look for jobs around, get busy and you will be fine. I am doing it at the moment, I am goin to just move on, because the more you feel miserable it doesnt do you good. you have to think about yourself not other people, especially someone who hurt you badly, she doesnt care about you anymore and why should you care about her? just take baby step in your life again, be responsible with your life and dont hurt yourself. She will not coming back to you and thats the reality. So you have to just move on too. Sorry if its not helping that much but our situation is pretty much the same.
wowIlose Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Its sad to see the people who you used to mean the world to turn on you and change. My EX used to be the sweetest girl to me but since our break up and a little bit before our relationship ended she changed and is now sleeping around. Ironically my EX brought up marriage a week before she broke up with me. Its the first time I told her when the time was right and we were a little older that I would(prior I always joked around I wouldnt marry her, so not to scare her, but I didnt want her thinking I would never marry her so I told her I would). A week later she broke up with me. How sick is that. I think the best advice around here is to cut her out of your life and with time your mind will adjust. I began to feel slightly better till I decided to bring her back into my life. This set me way back and I still find myself not able to fully let go but trying is what counts. Make some baby steps that you know are required but you been holding back. Start by removing her of your myspace. In my case I removed my ex 3 times because I kept readding her. I removed her for what I hope is the last time after I found out she was having sex and not even in a relationship. Good luck friend.
watchconcierge Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 ok since my break up with my eX almost 6 months ago (august 21st) my life has been nothing but misery, i mean MISERY, i have no job, no car, no money, i tried the army, got rejected (yea), and i just CANT get over my eX, i still love her to the bottom of my heart heres the scoop... the pain seems to numb when i try to pretend she doesnt exist, but i know it happened and all, but i just CANT get over her... today i accidently saw her little myspace icon thing and it appears shes turned into what most would say... a slut, i cant stand seeing that... during the relationship i made her so happy and she returned the favor, until i asked her to marry me... in which scared her... i thought she would say yes to some signs she was displaying... but no... thats when the poop hit the paddles... then we broke up and i wanted her back but she ended up telling me to never talk to her again... and shes gone off BACk to her old self before i met her, heavy drinking, pot smoking, cig smoking... and shes been around quite a few guys and it kills me to think shes been... you know... but when i saw her icon, i bursted into tears... i want to be over her so badly and its been almost 6 months... im lonely, im depressed, i sleep too much, i eat too little, i want to die... it all boils down to losing her and seeing her self destruct... PLEASE someone help me, anything just please help me Man up, brother... Don't be looking at the myspace page. My ex set her myspace page to private after I left her. Now she's really picked up the partying and she likes to post pictures of her partying with friends as her myspace picture. Seems like she changes her picture every couple of days to a new partying picture. Plus she changes her mood and status to stuff like "adventurous," "flirty," "optimistic," "excited," etc... So... I found this forum while googling the benefits of not contacting my ex. It's been 4 1/2 days since I last talked to her on the phone. She has repeatedly tried to text and call me, but I'm not playing. And at the point of deciding not to take the calls, I decided not to go to her myspace page anymore. It really aggravates me... I left her because of the partying... So... On my main computer, I googled how to block myspace on my computer and I did it. I have a myspace page thats very active, so I kept access on other computers. But I only go to one of those other computers once a day to approve new friends and comments. So the temptation to go to the myspace page is mostly gone. And as each day goes by, you think less about going there. Don't let her aggravate you. Take control. BTW - I feel STRONG today after the beating I took here, yesterday.
cj1988 Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Look, go out today and see what this wonderful has to offer you ! Do not sit around beating yourself up it will get you NO where really fast !
s_n_d Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 ok since my break up with my eX almost 6 months ago (august 21st) my life has been nothing but misery, i mean MISERY, i have no job, no car, no money, i tried the army, got rejected (yea), and i just CANT get over my eX, i still love her to the bottom of my heart heres the scoop... the pain seems to numb when i try to pretend she doesnt exist, but i know it happened and all, but i just CANT get over her... today i accidently saw her little myspace icon thing and it appears shes turned into what most would say... a slut, i cant stand seeing that... during the relationship i made her so happy and she returned the favor, until i asked her to marry me... in which scared her... i thought she would say yes to some signs she was displaying... but no... thats when the poop hit the paddles... then we broke up and i wanted her back but she ended up telling me to never talk to her again... and shes gone off BACk to her old self before i met her, heavy drinking, pot smoking, cig smoking... and shes been around quite a few guys and it kills me to think shes been... you know... but when i saw her icon, i bursted into tears... i want to be over her so badly and its been almost 6 months... im lonely, im depressed, i sleep too much, i eat too little, i want to die... it all boils down to losing her and seeing her self destruct... PLEASE someone help me, anything just please help me I feel exactly the same way. I cannot eat. For the last few days, its been terrible. Yesterday I only ate a dinner..I made myself a breakfast but couldnt eat it..Didnt feel like lunch.. Didnt feel like dinner either but my cousin made me eat something. Before that, I was ok with the exception of the first few days after the breakup. I dunno why its back to not eating again... Its been two months..
watchconcierge Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 I feel exactly the same way. I cannot eat. For the last few days, its been terrible. Yesterday I only ate a dinner..I made myself a breakfast but couldnt eat it..Didnt feel like lunch.. Didnt feel like dinner either but my cousin made me eat something. Before that, I was ok with the exception of the first few days after the breakup. I dunno why its back to not eating again... Its been two months.. I lost like 30 pounds during my first divorce in about 6 weeks. And I wasn't obese or anything. During my current (2nd divorce), I lost about 15 pounds, but started working out and have actually added some good muscle. Any way... I wish I could figure out how to bottle the "break up diet." I'd be a billionaire. Just go with it... If you don't feel like eating much, don't. Your appetite will come back.
Author joeyku Posted January 13, 2008 Author Posted January 13, 2008 do u have family or friends that can help you financialy? when my ex dump me i was homeless and no money and no job, I took shelter on my family's friend's place here (my family lives overseas). I still havent got a job yet but I do get money from the goverment to help me to buy food and paying rent. I know my ex doesnt worry about me, he only worry about himself. In my opinion your ex is a very irresponsible person who doesnt love herself. I dont know why you want to be with someone like that. I dont know why she doesnt want to marry you because that is a brave thing of you to do that, my ex chikened out when i talk about marriage. She just want to have fun in her life and doesnt care about anything anymore. She will regret that later in her life but maybe at the moment she just lost in her own world. I think you should just get your life back on track, look for jobs around, get busy and you will be fine. I am doing it at the moment, I am goin to just move on, because the more you feel miserable it doesnt do you good. you have to think about yourself not other people, especially someone who hurt you badly, she doesnt care about you anymore and why should you care about her? just take baby step in your life again, be responsible with your life and dont hurt yourself. She will not coming back to you and thats the reality. So you have to just move on too. Sorry if its not helping that much but our situation is pretty much the same. Thank you for helping, i know she wont be coming back... but she asked my friend how imdoing a few weeks ago and asking about me and its making me worried... she had a bf who cheated on her... and now shes asking how im doing... i dont want ANYTHING to do with her... i dont want her in my life cause i know she will take my soul again like it was during the breakup... yes she is a very irresponsible person who doesnt like herself... shes been raped by her methheaded ex before me... i know in the back of my mind... everyday... is just another day that ive survived... thanks yall for the help if anyone has anymore advice please let me know
Chrome Barracuda Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 ok since my break up with my eX almost 6 months ago (august 21st) my life has been nothing but misery, i mean MISERY, i have no job, no car, no money, i tried the army, got rejected (yea), and i just CANT get over my eX, i still love her to the bottom of my heart heres the scoop... the pain seems to numb when i try to pretend she doesnt exist, but i know it happened and all, but i just CANT get over her... today i accidently saw her little myspace icon thing and it appears shes turned into what most would say... a slut, i cant stand seeing that... during the relationship i made her so happy and she returned the favor, until i asked her to marry me... in which scared her... i thought she would say yes to some signs she was displaying... but no... thats when the poop hit the paddles... then we broke up and i wanted her back but she ended up telling me to never talk to her again... and shes gone off BACk to her old self before i met her, heavy drinking, pot smoking, cig smoking... and shes been around quite a few guys and it kills me to think shes been... you know... but when i saw her icon, i bursted into tears... i want to be over her so badly and its been almost 6 months... im lonely, im depressed, i sleep too much, i eat too little, i want to die... it all boils down to losing her and seeing her self destruct... PLEASE someone help me, anything just please help me Let go. man. Just let go. It isnt your fault she's self destructive. Something's seriously wrong inside her to compell her to act this way. You asked her to marry you and she turned you down and got mad when you wanted her back?!?! WTF? usually that's the other way around! lol. Trust me you'll be better off. You dont want her back after this, her psyche' has been seriously fractured and only she can fix it for herself.
kirikat Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 (edited) This line of conversation really makes me angry. Listen, regardless of who does the breaking, its HARD. Gentlemen, please do NOT tell me that when YOU have been dumped that YOU dont go out drinking, carousing, and whoring. In a man, this is considered perfectly understandable and almost necessary behavior. Its a way of coping with loss and pain, and trying to move on. But, when a female engages in the SAME behavior, she is a "SLUT"???? I understand that you are in pain, but being judgemental, imagining her with other men, and thinking these sorts of thoughts is NOT going to help you move on. The bottom line is that she loved you, but really didnt want to marry you - for whatever reason - and its a loss, and it hurts. Edited January 13, 2008 by kirikat
sedgwick Posted January 13, 2008 Posted January 13, 2008 The only thing you can do is rebuild your own life, and it sounds like the only place to go from here is up. Do you have a college education? If not, could you start by taking even one class? Could you get a sh*t job for now just to get you out of the house, give you something to think about besides her, and provide you with a little money? It's a big help to me to think about my goals every day, and to try to do at least one thing a day to work toward them. I've made remarkable strides in the past 3.5 years (since my breakup with my worst ex ever.) I'm now trying to get over someone else, but I'm happy to say I'm completely and totally over the evil one before him, and wouldn't take him back for a million bucks. This most recent breakup, while it has sucked royally and I'm still totally in love with the dude, has at least been mitigated by the fact that I'm doing stuff with my life that makes me happy. That's what you have to find. Just pick one thing you're passionate about and pursue it. It's a start. When I think about where my life was four years ago and where it is now, it's a COMPLETELY different universe!
Author joeyku Posted January 15, 2008 Author Posted January 15, 2008 Hey thx for the replies everyone, athough their all different opinions... but anyways i was doing well for about 2 months before now until recently when my friend called me and told me that my eX told her that her bf she had for a little while cheated on her... and then she asked how im doing... then a few nights ago... my home phone rang, NOT my cell phone, my home phone thats only used for business calls... it was 2:00 in the MORNING... late at night yknow... and my roommate answered the phone and he was stupidly drunk and told this caller that i dont live there anymore... the caller was a girl, i star 69ed the thing to see the phone number that called, it was a private number Only ONE person knows my home phone number Only ONE person calls from a private number now im feeling that familiar pain again! i thought i let go but the pain is here again please some one help or give me some advice... make sure its helpful and not offensive...
vivrantflo Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Try not to panic man.. most likely it was her.. but you should maintain the NC. She just got played by her previous boyfriend, and now she's onto plan B, and that may be you. You deserve better than that. Let her sit in the decision she made by letting you go. Maintain NC.
brokeninside Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 Its not her man, its you. Until you realise that you will continue your pattern. You need to break it. Focus on yourself. A lot of people write that dry, but dont really explain it. I will try to. What are the elements that define you as a person? What I mean by that is do you write software? Do you read books and are knowledgable? Do you drive a sports car and love cars? Or do you drive a ****box but still love cars? What do you like to do in your free time that instill's envy in others without that being the main purpose?Write a list of these things. In my case I had several things goign for me because I was motivated before I met my now estrange ex would be fiance. I was a martial arts expert, i was also into the gym and a software engineer, but also read a lot of books and I love cars. Thats why i put those things up there. I also love swimming and biking.Start thinking about going back to these things.If you still cant sleep over this, give yourself some more time. Until you can go about your daily activities without really thinking TOO much about it (its ok for it to ligner in the back of your head once in a while, thats going to happen anyway) then you are on the way to being A'OK! Once that happens, pick up one item from taht list and endulge. Then another, then another. This can take weeks or months, or even up to a year. She is not the end of your world. Until you learn how to be happy with yourself you will never be happy with another. She left you because she saw better alternatives. You probably put yourself unknowingly in that situation. Or maybe she is just not the type to commit. Either way its bad. Learn. Time out. Look back and improve. No relationship for now, you are just going to end up getting hurt. Stand up and be a man bro!! You need someone to give you a good pat in the back, or slap you against the floor screaming ONE TWO ONE TWO doing pushups and asking you if you still have those balls she apparently took with her. Loosing them over a girl is no biggy. They grow back and it happens to the biggest casanova's out there. They just dont like to admit it. Rock on bud. Life is too short for this kind of bs. You might be insulted now. If you are, in 4 months time it will be BS to you also. Cheers
vivrantflo Posted January 15, 2008 Posted January 15, 2008 I gotta agree with brokeninside, cars are VERY theraputic!
Author joeyku Posted January 16, 2008 Author Posted January 16, 2008 Hey thanks brokeninside, i try to enjoy life, but its hard while thinking im worthless to everyone if you catch my drift but cars arent my thing, i love to drive, but working on them is like working on a patient or something i like music, i like to write music and right now im going out for a nice walk, cause im feeling faint from being inside right now thx people
Recommended Posts