Lyssa Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 My initial response, as always, was 'no', but after reading KC's above comment I thought differently. From the W's perspective - yes, maybe she does deserve to know, but not from you. And like someone else said, he will probably just paint you as a bitter ex-girlfriend so she won't believe him anyway. Let's face it, who would want to believe that their H could possibly be cheating on them after 9 months of marriage. What a dog! SB, think carefully before you decide. If you really feel it will help YOU, then do it, but don't do it if it's out of revenge for what he did to you (be honest with yourself here!) Be prepared for her not to believe a word of it. Oh, and just thank God it was her he married and not you! I agree with PP here. Trimmer's suggestion is good too - end and stay out of it!
White Flower Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 This is a hard call. If I were the wife I would want to know so that I could prevent myself from getting an STD. If he is cheating so early on in the M he is probably a serial cheater. I normally would say don't tell, but you are clearly alarmed by how soon he cheated after marrying. It's not like he fell out of love after 35 years at giving it his best shot.
White Flower Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I'd agree that they'd be suspicious of her motives for telling, LB, but I think that telling 'anonymously' is the wrong answer too. It makes the motives EVEN MORE questionable. Why would I take it from a complete stranger...who wouldn't even identify themselves or the source of the information? Why would I believe them? It would make it MUCH MUCH more likely that the WS would put a spin on it..."throw them under the bus"...to do damage control. Tell them honestly who you are, what role you played, and why you're telling them the truth now. They may hate your guts, but they're more likely to believe that you're telling the truth. And try to back it up with dates and locations to convince it to her if she doesn't already know you.
D-Lish Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 (edited) I would not even consider telling her. You don't know this woman- and this news coming from a stranger could be a bit cruel. Imagine opening your myspace and getting such a shocking letter. I got a call from a random woman who told me over the phone while I was at work that she had been seeing my husband and he had gotten her pregnant. Coming from her- it was the worst way I could have been told. My husband owed me that information...not her. Your guilt is just something you have to own and come to terms with. if he's a chronic cheater- she will find out eventually. You only made a mistake- not knowing he was married. I am sure their relationship is not a happy one... but it's up to them to live in that misery. The only way I would inform a woman she is beaing cheated on would be if she was a close friend of mine and I found out about it and knew it to be 100% truthful. You don't owe either of these people anything. I date a married man for 6 weeks before finding out he was married... and I never told his wife after I found out. I found out because she found my number in his cell phone and call to see who I was. I just told her we had done business together- which was plausible because he built homes for a living. I saw no reason to strike this woman down, even though I was hurt and had genuinley liked this man... There relationship will fall apart on it's own. Keep it to youself. You shouldn't feel guilt- he should feel shame. Edited January 7, 2008 by D-Lish
White Flower Posted January 8, 2008 Posted January 8, 2008 why do bad things happen to hot chicks Ever on the prowl KMT...
Recommended Posts