Crono69 Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 She keeps saying she would like to see me when I ask her and I invite her to hangout then she doesnt reply when the day comes till late and she makes up excuses. Finaly she said yesterday that she doesnt want **** going around about us again and she has a new bf that shes not looking to cheat on. She cheated on her old BF with me. I said I cant see her any other way and that I dont see her as just a hookup and that I want to be with her and she said I didnt think you actually liked me (she never believed I did when we were seeing eachother) and said okay what are you doing tomorrow. 1st time in a while she asked what I was doing cause I kept pursueing her. Before it was her pursuing me cause she liked me but now she has a new BF. So basically Im wondering. Why doesnt she just say she cant see me? Why does she keep leading me on? Saying she wants to see me and agrees to see me then ignores me? If she didnt want to see me then why doesnt she just say no.. It makes me feel alot worse then if she would just straight up say no. Im so confused.
LadyDi Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Maybe she likes the attention. If she were to tell you flat out she doesn't want to see you, all that attention stops. Its an ego thing, perhaps?
PoshPrincess Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Maybe she likes the attention. If she were to tell you flat out she doesn't want to see you, all that attention stops. Its an ego thing, perhaps? I agree. Or maybe she cares about you and feels like she SHOULD say yes, at the time, because she doesn't want to hurt you and then realises she can't go through with it and backs off.
terrified Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Well, can't say for all..but most women tend to be non-confrontational. That means keeping silent or skirting the issue when she really means "no. go away". And there's always the hope that women have of continuing to be friends with ex-lovers (save for guys who beat them up or were 100% jerks). She's gonna just disappear from your life once you stop calling her. And maybe that's the best way out for the both of you, since she has actually made it pretty clear that she isn't looking to cheat on her new guy.
OWoman Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 Well, can't say for all..but most women tend to be non-confrontational. That means keeping silent or skirting the issue when she really means "no. go away". And there's always the hope that women have of continuing to be friends with ex-lovers (save for guys who beat them up or were 100% jerks). She's gonna just disappear from your life once you stop calling her. And maybe that's the best way out for the both of you, since she has actually made it pretty clear that she isn't looking to cheat on her new guy. Had you said "some women" or even "many women", I'd have let this pass, but MOST women? How many - 50% +1? 65%? 98%? Based on what research? I didn't even see an "in my experience" to qualify it. In my experience, to the contrary, it's women who tend to be upfront and guys who try to please everyone by not rocking any boats. But I won't claim y experience is representative of all women, or all men, because I don't know. If you have the evidence, let's hear it. Same with your "hope women have of continuing to be friends with ex-lovers". Can't say I know any women like that myself - though I know of several guys who say that as a means to keep the women in the pool for late night drunken booty calls when they fall on hard times. Again, my experience is that when a woman says "let's be friends" she means, "you're too ugly to get into my panties so take a hike". Which is a well known code, understood even by guys, so it's not skirting the issue but it's not lopping his gonads off with blunt scissors either.
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 She doesn't want to see you, but she doesn't want to be seen as a bitch so she is giving you the 'soft no'. Best bet? Stop talking to her altogether.
whichwayisup Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 she said yesterday that she doesnt want **** going around about us again and she has a new bf that shes not looking to cheat on. She cheated on her old BF with me If she was very interested in you, don't you think she would have started dating you after she broke up with the previous boyfriend? Now she has someone else. She cannot continue to cheat, she knows this and obviously has realized it is wrong. All you can do is try your best to get over her and go no contact. Being second fiddle isn't worth your time and energy, even if you love her.
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