Day-To-Day(long srry)

[SaRuZ]

Sup, first post. Having a few compatibility issues on my side I suppose. Here's some history to the relationship.

 

I met my fiance Crystal in a chatroom around April 2005, we just became acquaintances for awhile and gradually became best friends. She's a year and 9 months older than me and lives in the UK, Scotland. We both had non-serious LDR's going on at the time, then after she broke up with her boyfriend she said she loved me but I didn't take it seriously. I was still with my ex and later broke up with her over a whole different set of problems. Crystal and I were both single and I refused to date her, around Febuary 2006 we got into a really big arguement which resulted in some pretty deep, harsh words being exchanged and neither of us talking to eachother for awhile. I was mainly the cause just because I kind of did take advantage of her invulnerability. I apologized in August 2006 and we became friends again. I was also in another LDR at the time of all of that with a different girl, which only lasted a few months and never was serious.

 

Crystal and I were very close by November and she began telling me she loved me again which kind of bothered me at the time coz I told her many of times that I didn't want to be with her. Even though my pursuit of my military dreams kept me busy(I was studying for my GED, contacting recruiters, working out)We did chat quite a bit. My old computer broke around December 2006 and I just left it alone. Febuary 2007 I bought a new PC and jumped into the digital-social circles again, I started flirting with my ex from 2006 that month but was also chatting with crystal loads aswell. I took a family vacation to Corpus Christi, TX for a week and while down there decided it was time for a new relationship and couldn't wait to get home and talk to Crystal.

 

I asked her out on her birthday, March 5th with the cheesiest line from a movie "So, you still wanna go?" We had a bumpy first-few months, I had been drinking alot and my Military-Pursuit kind of fell-through. She broke up with me in May because she couldn't "Be with someone that drinks their life away" At the time I was infuriated, but also hurt and confused. "How could she leave me when I needed her?" but later knew it was better, I cut down and refused to talk to her while drinking.

 

We got back together in June, and with the Military being unoptional(with other reasons) Our LDR was kind of dead seeing as the Military was a way to get the money to travel aswell as something I greatly wanted to do. With nothing really to look forward to I planned to go see her. I brought up the subject June 15th and picked a date to go and visit(October 15th) I started working Construction in July and saved as much as I could. I bought an engagement ring in August, bought my passport aswell. We hit another bump in September over a jealousy-issue which we only split up for 4 days and were back together. October 15th comes, Had some family issues going on at the time, fractured my wrist but managed to buy a Plane ticket for $1,400(I tried to get my ticket sooner but alot of financial-downstreams prevented that) flew to Glasgow, Scotland.

 

The original trip was planned from October 15th-Febuary 16th. I arrived in Glasgow on October 17th at 9:40 A.M, had a run-in with Immigration for about 3 hours, interrogated and deported on reasons of "attempting to deceive an immigration officer" because I did not specify that she was my girlfriend, I just said Friend. He found the ring and made up his mind, I was also 17 at the time and that was a reason aswell. However he did allow me to stay the night with her in Dumfries but I had to be at the airport the next day by 10 A.M to retreive my passport and be escorted to the plane(didn't get my passport back until we landed in Newark, NJ, $200 little booklet wow) I am greatful for the Night we did get together, but Sleep deprivation really kicked in since well, no sleep on the way there and ofcourse no sleep the entire time I was with her lol. I almost passed out while sitting at my gate the next morning.

 

So now i'm back home, I did propose to her while I was there, I just handed her the box and said "here ya go" I know, I know, so unromantic it'll make your grandmother hate me, but this girl doesn't demand that much romance. I apologized for that after I got home lol .

 

Now, sorry for the novel. From that I have gathered that we are indeed opposites in alot of ways, though we are both outgoing and have some of the same interests, both virgins and were our firsts in many other ways. We contradict constantly it almost drives me insane. I sometimes don't even bother expressing my opinion on a subject because she will attempt to argue it. I know love is not just intimacy, it's also unity and just basic bonding. We can be sufficiently candoring to one another. I'm going back to visit her later this month, this time only for 3 weeks(since the UK Visitor Visa laws have changed since october aswell) I just get so annoyed by her sometimes and it bothers me because I love her so much but don't like her that often if that makes sense.

 

Jealousy and a bit of secrecy has also been evident in the 10 months we've been dating. She has some male-friends and I respect that, I don't try to control her, but she used to go on and on about a few of them in September, especially after I just got home from work(9 hour days, 5 days a week, but weekends aswell there for 3 weeks in that time) One day I just blew up and told her I was tired, and didn't need it. As naive as I and many people can be, there is no way she didn't know it was pissing me off somehow. Since then though she hasn't talked about guy-friends that often.

 

Another point was secrecy, since we are both still virgins alot of suspicions arose throughout the months, I just kept getting this feeling that she was lieing to me, and she wouldn't stop hinting it because she had a pretty rough childhood(I didn't exactly have Leave-it-to-Beaver either) but her father passed at age 9 and she had to deal with alot of issues that followed after that. She started partying and stuff around 13 with a small group of friends some of the opposite sex, drinking and hanging out. Just being "13" in today's society, I did the same but our social-circle consisted of guys and we just ran around and did misdemeanors and ventured off to hide cigarette-smoking from the parents. Never did I put myself in a sexual situation at times where it was possible, though alot of people I knew that were my age and older did. She told me a few stories where after they're done you just get that uneven feeling and know they are lieing? Ever heard one of those? I always messed with her about it too just to try and get her to admit it which she never did. She also never questioned my "sexual-past" which I found a bit strange. I was always forward about it though so idk. Anyways a few months back we had a very long discussion about that and she made it clear that she has never done anything with a guy except me(I honestly wouldn't of taken it that serious if she had been with someone and told me) So I stopped thinking she was lieing.

 

Now it's all weird, I don't over-react anymore to anything really, I kinda stopped caring in a way. With the contradictions and just the long-term effort and money it will take to get me over there and marry her it often seems pointless. Her naivette seems to lure her aswell, and she has tried the Dominance thing just because i'm younger. Usually calling me "boy" and always referencing to stuff about how when "She was younger she enjoyed that" when I say I enjoy doing something even if it isn't childish. Stuff people do in their 30's she will say that to I have told her several times that we're still pretty damn young but then she'll go on and say she's not that young I know my age, and I know I have a lifetime to learn wisdom, but if she's right. She is one of the eldest minds in the world at only 19 =O lol. As most relationships have ups and downs, mine seems to be sliding down a 15"-pitch slope, yesterday was good, today not so well. since the changing of emotion is always Day-To-Day now and happiness has seemed to be replaced by anger and confusion that doesn't go away no matter how much we talk about it.

[TMichaels]

Okay, thanks for the background, but do you have a question or particular point you would like others to address?

 

Best,

TMichaels

[Jordane]

I'm confused too. Where is the question?

 

What I do get from this post is that you are TOO young to be married. I honestly don't think it will work based on your post and what's the rush? If you guys annoy each other that much and you don't even SEE each other, imagine how much you are going to watch to kill each other if you got married and started living together.

[SaRuZ]

Was just after general opinions. Delete this thread if you want, found other forums. Ty.