randuff Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 I wrote about how she text and called 2 times each on New Year's Day. I never responded. Well today she text me again "Hope you are doing well." I didn't respond. Then this follows : "Okay, if you don't wanna talk anymore I understand. But I'm getting worried just let me know you're okay and I'll leave you be." Should I respond with anything?? Maybe "Yeah I am great" Thoughts?????????
whichwayisup Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Just keep on ignoring her. She knows what's what...Don't let the "I am getting worried" line get to you. You two are not a couple anymore, let alone friends, or in eachother daily lives. She's a smart cookie, let her figure it out.
whichwayisup Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 worried just let me know you're okay Translation, I want to know if you are mad at me. Again, let her figure it out... Keep up the excellent work!
Lishy Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 You are doing great, dont text her back! If someone really wants to know if you are alright there are ways and means Keep it up honey!
Florida Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 No, it's a hook, and it will result in an equally guilt inducing follow up text and more after that. This is for you, to not respond. Like everyone said, keep up the great willpower!
Author randuff Posted January 4, 2008 Author Posted January 4, 2008 Done! I ignored the text once again. She knows that I am ok, she knows where I live and she knows how to contact me if she really had to....
Lishy Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Thats the spirit Randuff! Keep it up! (as the actress said to the bishop)
watchconcierge Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Just keep on ignoring her. She knows what's what...Don't let the "I am getting worried" line get to you. You two are not a couple anymore, let alone friends, or in eachother daily lives. She's a smart cookie, let her figure it out. Awesome comment! I wondered about how to handle that one.
Author randuff Posted January 4, 2008 Author Posted January 4, 2008 Just keep on ignoring her. She knows what's what...Don't let the "I am getting worried" line get to you. You two are not a couple anymore, let alone friends, or in eachother daily lives. She's a smart cookie, let her figure it out. You know as I was thinking I reminded myself that SHE was the one who cheated on me, SHE was the one who broke it off, SHE was the one who chose this. Screw her, she wasn't worried about me when she did those things, why give a shi7 now?
Lishy Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Thats it babe and when you falter and want to respond just remember those things!
Author randuff Posted January 4, 2008 Author Posted January 4, 2008 Thanks Lish, I will heed that advice.
Lishy Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Yeah BIG kudo's on ignoring the text!!!!!!!!!! It isnt easy to do so you should be proud!
Author randuff Posted January 4, 2008 Author Posted January 4, 2008 Well after not responding to those texts she called again. I rejected the call as well. It may seem easy and petty but I have had a very hard time with this in the past so I post now so that I am not tempted to call or text back.
Florida Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Well after not responding to those texts she called again. I rejected the call as well. It may seem easy and petty but I have had a very hard time with this in the past so I post now so that I am not tempted to call or text back. Gad I am annoyed by her just reading this, on the one hand it doesn't feel good if she disappears, but on the other she will keep you all twisted up not able to move on this way, so it's ultimately really cruel. I can't recall -did you ever say to her "listen- I need to move on-please don't contact me , I'll be fine?" I'm not suggesting that-just wondering if you drew the line before?
sweet1 Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Excellent work!!!! My ex keeps calling me and asking if I am ok, it's so very hard to do, but I know that if I give in I get nothing out of it, more heartache...nothing accomplished. He has hurt and lied to me so many times, he was in control then, now I'm back in control but it's sad to think that this is it...no more control wars because this is the end. I also try to think of it this way, I am doing us both a favor, I am taking the hardest hit for both of us, because I know we can never make it as a couple, we will destroy eachother if we stay together and for whatever reason he calls, even if it is just to see if I am "ok", he doesn't need to know becasue we are done, I can't be friends with someone who lied to me and mistreated me, so it's no longer his business. If she cheated on you, she lost all rights to know if you are "ok"...she had a good thing and she took it for granted, it's no longer hers to know. Keep up the good work and remember there is someone out there who will love you for you and not take you for granted. If someone loves you, they won't lie to you or cheat on you!
Author randuff Posted January 4, 2008 Author Posted January 4, 2008 Nope, haven't drawn the line and stood by it. We have talked before, when I started counseling, and decided it would be best if we didn't talk but I always caved. She even went as far as to suggest that she was an "enabler" to which I agreed. She has always said she wants what is best for me and she would always love me because I was "special" to her. I guess she never really thought that one day I would truly be gone and that I would always be around for her.
sweet1 Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Y'know...whenever I would tell my ex that I would not put up with the way he treated me forever, he would tell me "you're not going anywhere"...and I guess he had this in his head that since I stuck around to try and make it work for a little over one year, it meant that he could do whatever he wanted and treat me any way he wanted. I don't know how some people can think that someone will stick around forever whilst they treat them like sh*t! I'm thinking most likely it's a cycle with them, they go through people like some people go through toiletpaper, all the while never learning that if you want people to stick it out with you in life, you have to treat them with respect and sacrifice some things in your life for it.
BrianG Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Y'know...whenever I would tell my ex that I would not put up with the way he treated me forever, he would tell me "you're not going anywhere"...and I guess he had this in his head that since I stuck around to try and make it work for a little over one year, it meant that he could do whatever he wanted and treat me any way he wanted. I don't know how some people can think that someone will stick around forever whilst they treat them like sh*t! I'm thinking most likely it's a cycle with them, they go through people like some people go through toiletpaper, all the while never learning that if you want people to stick it out with you in life, you have to treat them with respect and sacrifice some things in your life for it. I couldn't agree more, I had to learn that lesson the hard way and would never, ever do it again. Respect precedes love
sweet1 Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 At least we know that we are valuable people worth having in someone else's life.
sedgwick Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 GOOD JOB RANDUFF!!! Like you said, she knows how to find you if she wants to get back together. She chose to leave, she has no right to know how you're doing. She gave that up when she left you. I'm proud of you! Keep it up! Now get that fine tattooed a$$ of yours out there and find a woman who deserves you! (There really are some of us out here who are honest and not into drama -- promise!)
Crestfallen_KH Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 WTG Randuff. I'm very impressed, I must admit, and also very proud of you. You're right, she cheated on you lied to you and left YOU. WTF is she thinking that she gets to know anything about you? She doesn't deserve to have any Randuff goodness in her life! Keep it up and keep posting here. Methinks she's going to keep this up for a little bit and put out more hooks that may become more difficult to resist. Hopefully I'm wrong, but I would still be prepared for that possibility. If you plan "NC for ANY reason" before those things happen, then you always know exactly what to do. Good work!
Author randuff Posted January 4, 2008 Author Posted January 4, 2008 GOOD JOB RANDUFF!!! Like you said, she knows how to find you if she wants to get back together. She chose to leave, she has no right to know how you're doing. She gave that up when she left you. I'm proud of you! Keep it up! Now get that fine tattooed a$$ of yours out there and find a woman who deserves you! (There really are some of us out here who are honest and not into drama -- promise!) Well it just so happens that I met someone. She is such a sweetheart and funny and OMG STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL!!!!! She is all tatted out and it is friggin HOT! I am curious to see what direction this is going.
Author randuff Posted January 4, 2008 Author Posted January 4, 2008 WTG Randuff. I'm very impressed, I must admit, and also very proud of you. You're right, she cheated on you lied to you and left YOU. WTF is she thinking that she gets to know anything about you? She doesn't deserve to have any Randuff goodness in her life! Keep it up and keep posting here. Methinks she's going to keep this up for a little bit and put out more hooks that may become more difficult to resist. Hopefully I'm wrong, but I would still be prepared for that possibility. If you plan "NC for ANY reason" before those things happen, then you always know exactly what to do. Good work! Thanks Crest! I just finally made the decision to quit being miserable.
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