gdog Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Any of you folks feel like this?: I have been feeling fairly good the past couple of weeks as things are going along ok. Don't know why but today I was feeling down all day and this evening I am really feeling bad. I talked with the wife earlier, all is well with her. I tried to sound upbeat for her but man.....I really got the blues!!! Maybe it is because it was two months ago tomorrow that I got the "bad news". Hopefully it will go away by tomorrow. Thanks all
GangstaGrillz Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 What bad news did you get two months ago?
cj1988 Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Hang in there, tomorrow is another day and you are just having a bad one now. It will pass, I have up and down days all the time.
trampompoline Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 I'm right there with you. Was feeling very hopeful for a while. And apologetic for the parts of the relationship that I helped to sour... now I'm more pissed about the A, and the fact that I think I took more of the blame than I should have after I found out.
Author gdog Posted January 3, 2008 Author Posted January 3, 2008 Tramp, Yep, that is about it. Lots of that going through my head. I mean...I don't want to make her feel any worse about herself!!! What kind of thinking is that?? But that is how I feel. Excellent and picture perfect before her nonsense, but all that is gone now. Just plugging along and seeing what the next few months will bring. I've told her that one more thing like that and no more chances for us. THAT is set in stone with me.
Confused9 Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 We all have tough days. Try writing it out. Get those emotions out of you and let them circulate into thin air. I always feel better after I write or cry or both. Just know that this will pass too. Are you still with your WS???
Author gdog Posted January 3, 2008 Author Posted January 3, 2008 Confused9, Yes, I took her remorse to heart and we are hanging in there. So far so good, but these down days I could really do without.
Confused9 Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Good for you!!! how is she acting? Is she in NC with OM? Is she trying hard? Was she always willing to? I hope everything works out for you!!! I REALLY do! Hang in there. Give her a hug and talk it out with her...
Author gdog Posted January 3, 2008 Author Posted January 3, 2008 Confused9, She is being extremely cooperative and full NC. She was always so nice and loving, just got tied up with a new group of friends a few months ago that had some very negative influence on her. She does not run with those folks any more. We are going to make it. Both committed to that, for sure.
Confused9 Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Good for you!!! I am glad she realizes what she could lose!!! I am really happy for you!
smartgirl Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 I am a year and a half post d-day and I still have bad days or parts of days. The dynamic has changed somewhat. I couldn't think of anything else for about a year. My situation is aggravated by the fact that he concealed her identity for 7 months and then it turned out they work together. It is basically his company so he can't leave and she won't. She is vindictive and would surely file a lawsuit if he tried to push her out. So knowing they see each other everyday is a big part of what eats at me. But in general the more you know about the A and what went on when, the more triggers you will have that bring on bad feelings. It is very hard to get through those days or months when I know specific things about what was going on with them. It makes me hate them and hate myself for being so stupid and trusting. Before I felt good for being a loving and trusting person. Now when I think about it I just feel like a fool. My H is doing everything a person could do to make this up to me. We love each other deeply, but all the love and attention in the world really doesn't erase the pain of the betrayal, the feelings of humiliation and the fear of being lied to again. I don't know what will. Some days I want to go to sleep and not wake up. Over time, the days get easier and I think about it less during the day. That gives me hope that I will continue to heal. A past poster said it took her about two and half years to really come to some kind of peace with it. Others say five and others never. I wish you luck and I wish I had answers for you and for me about when the pain will ease. I will tell you that I'm sure it will never go away. This event is part of your lives now and is woven into the fabric of your marriage and your individual lives. People make all kinds of terrible mistakes in life. If you believe in the principal of forgiveness, as I do, then just try to stay focused on the belief that recovery is possible. People who have suffered much worse tragedies in their lives go on and are happy again.
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