Chauncey Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 So yes, my gf troubles arise yet again, but in a different form. So as some of you may know my gf recently broke her ankle, and is forced to use both crutches and this little scotter thing. She works in downtown D.C. and needs to use the Metro from Virginia (witch is about a 40 min. trip). Today was her first time using the Metro since breaking her ankle, and unfortunately the stop she gets off on is a bit far from her office. She had to stroll quite a few blocks and apparently she got pretty winded once she got to her office. It's freezing here today and she is just recovering from Bronchitis, so the cold isn't all that great for her. Anyhoo she just called and wanted me to pick her up. In every case I would of course pick her up...I would love to. Unfortunately it is a bit of a chore in itself. I live 45 mins. outside of D.C. Traffic begins later in the afternoon, so it will probably take me an hour. I've been driving all week long between her place (40 mins. away), my house, and the airport. I've spend nearly half a tank in less than 48 hours. It's getting exepensive, and now that I'm between jobs, I need to pinch my pennies. She wants me to stay with her tonight and tomorrow, but at her apt. So while her roomates and her are at work I will be lounging around in her home. For some reason I find this a bit creepy, as I don't want to wearout my welcome. I've been taking care of her all this time, between her being sick and with a broken ankle. I mean, I was the one who took her to the ER. I just want to know if she is sounding a bit needy. And if I should drive in to get her, or let her try to get home by herself. I mean, she does need to learn and get use to it, as I cannot always help her. Just need some info.
Art_Critic Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Role Reversal... How would you feel if you were in her shoes and your ankle was broken ? Your GF has a broken Ankle dude and can't move around.. she isn't being needy.. She is trying to function with your help.. I'm not saying that you aren't going above and beyond already.. but you should take care of your GF... Well.. if your ankle was broken would you ask your GF to pick you up and maybe stay overnight ? Give and take.. you might find yourself in a similar situation one day and need her to help you...
ElvenPriestess Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Sounds like she's having some tough times. I don't think it's unreasonable to help her out on occasion. But just make sure that if you do her a favor say once a week when it isn't interfering with anything, be sure she doesn't get used to it. She may take it for granted and expect it all the time, where as you know you can't afford the gas all the time, etc. So if you decide to drive her to or from work, the next time, just before hand say, "Hey, I don't mind every now and again, but please understand I'm not going to be able to do this very much. You know my situation, please understand." I think this is a very reasonable thing. Original question. Is she being too needy? At this point, no. I don't think so. It sucks that she's sick, and everything else that's happened, and she needs some help from you. If this continues however, and she refuses to get herself where she needs to go with out you, then it would be more lazy than needy, not to sound mean.
Florida Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 needs to use the Metro from Virginia (witch is about a 40 min. trip). Is this a telling slip of how you really feel?? (witch/which) For plum's sake Chauncey spare 2 days of your time and help out the poor crippled thing, no she won't expect it everyday, but she will never forget if you don't do this this one time. Needy? That's not needy. Imagine being homebound, and so new to crutches, she just needs some early support while she gets used to it. And don't forget to try to cheer her up, and bake her stuff. Why do you think that is needy? I classify needy as calling 10x/day, not being able to go to the grocery store without you, on a regular basis. Is the situation with your GF really your definition of needy? It's not.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Suck it up and help the girl. Don't be such a jerk!
norajane Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Hey, don't you want to be Superman and rescue a damsel in distress?? She is not being 'needy'. She does, however, need your help while she's learning to deal with the broken ankle. Since you are between jobs, as you said, then you actually do have the flexibility to help her. If the gas is too much, as her if she would be willing to chip in while you play chauffer since you are driving such long distances. And if you want to avoid traffic, drive in a little earlier and get some coffee while you wait. I'm sure she'd love it if you met her and brought her a cup of tea for the long ride home - she's probably all worn out and with her bronchitis, it will help her feel better.
curiousnycgirl Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Perhaps a stupid question - but would it make sense to suggest she stay at your house rather than you staying at hers? Would that be easier and make you more comfortable? I agree with everyone that you should be helping her, but to expect you to hang around all day at her house (and her roomates') seems a bit intrusive.
blind_otter Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 I agree with the other posters...she doesn't sound like she's being too needy. She sounds like she' having a rought time right now and she needs your help.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 unless there is more to this story then no your gf is nt being needy.. She is extremely frustrated because shes not able to get around as easy. Not only does she have to worry about how to position her leg when shes out, but she has to manuever aound people on the metro , and beat the bitter cold blowing in her face. I understand that gas isn't cheap, and trust me I have cut down oln driving as well.. But have you told her it would help if you to shared the gas expenses. she just needs help from her bf! so assist the girl
Jilly Bean Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Yeah, she's being a little needy, but don't you think she NEEDS some help right now? I know whenever a guy in my life has been sick or hurt, you all can be some of the biggest babies around. She's got to feel crappy about being immobilized, and it can't be easy (I was on crutches in college, and didn't have to navigate a mass transit system and it still sucked). Me thinks a little tenderness is required...
Jordane Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 I think guys are a little too quick to call their girls needy! She has a broken ankle and bronchitis?! She shouldn't even be at work! She's definitely not needy and I recommend you don't let her in on your little feelings about this situation because you might lose a woman who sounds quite self-sufficient actually.
Jilly Bean Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 I say we chip in and send her a fruit basket.
Dynamo Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 She certainly needs help, and you are doing the right thing by helping her all you can. Perhaps try explaining to her (key word EXPLAINING) your predicament, and how you are 100% willing to help her out all you can, but your money is tight now so you might not be able to be there at every beck and call. Just be nice about it and hopefully she'll understand. Its a toughy though, you basically need to figure out whats more important to you - eating supper that night or helping your (injured) girl function?
ElvenPriestess Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Perhaps she could pitch in for the gas money if that's really one of the biggest issues here?
Author Chauncey Posted January 9, 2008 Author Posted January 9, 2008 I just wanted to let everyone know that this is not an issue of gas money. Sure it's not exactly cheap, but I would do anything for this woman, and money in this case is not an object. Also I truly don't mind helping her, she's the woman I love, trust, and cherish. She has done so much for me that I would do anything for her, so before you all start thinking I'm this terrible, selfish person because of the tone of the first post, well than you are just misinformed...if anything, it's the opposite. She called me up today and we started talking. Before the conversation ended she asked what time I was picking her up today. Well I never told her I was, I told her Friday I could. Well of course she starts crying and telling me I told her Wed. I begin to talk her down, and discuss why I don't always like coming over. I'm between jobs at the moment and when I come stay with her, I usually spend the night. Well during the day I'm usually job hunting, so when I stay over, I bring her into work and go back to her apt. She shares it with 2 other girls, who are acquaintances of mine but we are not "best of friends". I just feel akward, knowing they are probably tired of coming home from a busy day at work, and seeing me there. Any thoughts?
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