thromback Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 I have been seeing this girl for about four months. We are in the same dorm building and floor. We are like really close. She wants to transfer colleges and stay home. She wants me to come with her. I said I won't and we are breaking up if she does. She won't tell me if shes going to transfer or not. She is being unfair. If I break up with her, I know she will leave. This is why I haven't. I don't want to get more attached. Any help?
tnguo Posted February 12, 2008 Posted February 12, 2008 Hi, there. I am also a college student, and have been in a LDR with my boyfriend for almost three years now. I go to college at home and he goes to college 3 hours away, which technically isn't very far compared to some LDRs but we only see each other during summers and weekend visits every few weeks. And that is still pretty hard. Well, have the two of you talked about a LDR? Depending on how far away the two of you will be, it may be an option. Some people don't do LDRs very well, but if she is open to it and committed to the relationship, it's worth a try. You need to stress to her that she needs to make this decision on her own; this is her future. It's unfair of her to want you to transfer with her, especially if you have plans of your own. College is only four years of your life; pretty short when you look at it. You don't want to regret transferring to a school you don't really like. If you're still together when the both of you graduate, you could live anywhere with her. The relationship needs to be out of the picture when she makes her decision about transferring. Since you have only been dating 4 months, it's a little risky to make the decision based on your budding romance. My own bf was thinking about transferring to my school but I told him he shouldn't do it just to be closer to me. He had to do it b/c he liked the school and b/c it had a better program for his major. And it didn't, so he didn't transfer. But we've made it work. You may be afraid of losing someone as wonderful as her. And a LDR may not be something you or her want to do. And that's okay, too. You can always still keep in touch and see if something opens up in the future. Sorry to make it long, but the bottom line is, she needs to make her decision on her own, and without the influence of your relationship! I know it sounds harsh,but b/c you're both in college, it's gotta work that way. Transferring is complicated and a big deal.
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