A Break-Up, rendered in nothingness.

[In_thespurofthe_mome]

Good afternoon guys, I'm back-- again.

I'll tell you right now, I'm inexperienced and I don't know any better.

 

Here's my situation:

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 8 months (Long distance [1hr], although his family owns another home about [30min] from me). We went through the honeymoon phase quite wonderfully, BUT around September of this year, when school started up again, our communication was a constant 'Play-pause-play-pause' situation. Sometimes we'd go for days, even up to a week without talking, but every time we resumed, we would happily click back together.

 

Then...around Thanksgiving time, I wanted to spice up the relationship a little. You know, light the spark again. So I wrote a letter, I suppose it could be a love letter. It was harmless, loving, and 110% genuine. I sent it, with high hopes.

I called him a few days after, and he told me that his parents got to it first. His mother is similar to the one in that movie Monster-in-Law (the one with J-Lo and the angry mother in law) His mother, I believe, is the kind that hates any woman who plans to 'replace' her. So, his parents didn't want him talking to me.

Although, he did say that he loved the letter and that it was nice.

 

I haven't spoke to him on the phone since. It's been around a month now, maybe more.

I am suspended in a state of nothingness at the moment. I feel so powerless, and I don't know what to do. I've been hopeful and very patient, but something tells me I should just let go.

 

I sent him an e-mail telling him my feelings, what I felt before and now, what might've happened to us, and that i've accepted the ending of our relationship. I left him and our memories in 2007.

 

What now? "No Contact" time?

And what should I do about closure?

 

Any help or advice or insight will greatly be appreciated. Thank you so much.

- Claire Anne

[TMichaels]

Um, well...

 

Am a bit baffled why you're wondering what should be your next step?

 

I sent him an e-mail telling him my feelings, what I felt before and now, what might've happened to us, and that i've accepted the ending of our relationship. I left him and our memories in 2007.

 

If that's what you told him in your email, unless he has a serious reading comprehension problem, I can't imagine why he'd think you were waiting to hear back from him.

 

Think about it...

 

His parents have forbidden him to associate with you. You've told him it's a shame that what could have been won't be, and you're moving on.

 

What more closure do you want? Done, dusted and finished, if you ask me.

 

Best,

TMichaels

[In_thespurofthe_mome]

@TMike (if I may call you that)

I think closure is different for every individual. But..just the fact that he simply disappeared for over a month after a phone call that sounded happy and typical is just baffling. I mean, you wouldn't know, but all of this..his actions were the LAST things I'd expect from him. It's probably my inexperience, but I really trusted him, and I felt like I knew him. And closure to me would mean him realizing his wrongs, or at least someday telling me why he disappeared? It's not like I was a ghost the entire time...he really did care for me.

 

I guess I just need some support.

Thank you so much though, TMichael.

[Nevermind]

Mh.

 

Closure= him seeing his mistakes? And then what? You're back together?

Honey, this isn't closure. What you want is to get back together.

 

Closure means to put an end to it, close the book or turn another page and leave all those unanswered questions behind. In your life, you will find that many things never become clear. Especially in relationships.

 

Why doesn't he say something? Maybe he suffers, too. Maybe he simply doesn't care anymore. Maybe he doesn't know what to say. Maybe he thinks you don't want him to call. Maybe he was captured by aliens. Okay, forget that one.

 

It's bad. It's terrible. I am so sorry for you. But you cannot change it.

I hope you will soon feel better. And that you will keep some of the good memories and forget about this ending. Life holds many wonderful things and wonderful people for you, I am sure. Don't be sad. Or be as sad as you need to get over it. After that, take a step away from it. And another. Walk away from that chapter. Open another one.

 

If you need support, write here. We will try to help. Or be a shoulder to cry on.

 

Good luck!

[In_thespurofthe_mome]

Oh, Nevermind! (Actually directed to Nevermind)

Deep down.. I realized that. I just don't understand, and probably will never understand the reason why he did that. Something similar happened before, and what goes around comes around, the girl did it to him, and he realized his mistake and told me he regretted what he did to me.

And..I guess, just a little, I want him to feel guilty. Is it normal? No? I'm used to that

 

Thank you so much..for the kind words. From a stranger, especially, and that makes me even happier lol. I always treasure the happy memories, and pull good things out of the bad, it's just that I feel like I was scammed lol. Like I gave too much of myself and *poof* he's just gone.

 

But to make myself feel better, sometimes I book fake vacations on expedia or drown myself in music and lots of other things. (No I don't drown myself in lots of other things.. nevermind.)

 

I need to get to sleep!

Good night