Gwyneth Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 Wow, Justpassingthrough. I just can't imagine what you are going through--and pray I never have to know. I am so sorry this is happening to you. It has Always disturbed me to hear such horrific stories as yours. Is that really what you're going to do? Leave the country, and run away from her? I think for your safety, that might be the only solution. Is she your only child?
bentnotbroken Posted May 27, 2008 Posted May 27, 2008 It is tough. Mine was kicked out of Job Corps in February because she can't get along with other people. When she called me and told me they were having a hearing to decide if she would leave or go, she anticipated IF it happened she would be leaving the next day. Not my child. She walked out of the hearing and her bags were already packed for her. Anything that didn't fit into her suitcases was shipped. Those folks wasted no time. She came back meaner than ever. That's okay, though. Eighteenth birthdays are a beautiful thing. I will not be this child's punching bag (because she, as she says, "misdirects" her anger) anymore. Next Tuesday, I'm moving out. Out as in out of the country. She'll either figure it out or she won't. I'm through. Even more, I don't care how it appears to anybody because nobody's lived my life - and it's been sheer Hell. A parent shouldn't have to live in fear because their child threatens to kill them. A parent shouldn't walk through their world with bruises because their daughter "misdirected" her anger. Let her therapist deal with her because, now, I DON'T HAVE TO. Woah, I'm glad this thread re-surfaced. That vent felt good. I so sorry that you have had to deal with so much. When we are pregnant and waiting to meet the little one inside of us and envision what they will be, what they will accomplish, it is never the dark side of parenting. Some times no matter what we do, the outside influences win. You are so right, no child or parent should live in fear from their own flesh and blood. You have to learn to protect yourself, and your daughter will have to learn that the world doesn't owe her anything and that she will either learn how to deal with everyone else or be separated from everyone. God Bless you and I pray that he directs your daughter.
Author confused39 Posted May 29, 2008 Author Posted May 29, 2008 omgosh...justpassingthrough your story makes mine sound like I'm living in candy land. I am so sorry that you're going through that. And you are SO very correct when you say that we shouldn't be worried about others' opinions...not until they've lived with a troubled kid. Hugs to you...you DON'T have to put up with it. Mine, on the other hand, has really pushed me to the breaking point. Today I learned that she's skipped so much of two different classes that she's got zero credits for them. That means there's two classes that she'll have to make up...and "I" am NOT paying for summer school. She can either pay for it, or make up both classes next year. I'm having her cell phone cut off when the contract is up the early part of next month. I don't care if she has a phone or not. She has a job now, she can get her own phone. She's attempting to lay guilt trips on me left and right, but you know what? I don't CARE anymore. I've tried so hard to teach her to follow life's rules so that her life would be easier, to just do the right thing, but she refuses. And no, skipping school isn't such a huge crime...but skipping enough to flunk TWO classes, attempting to shop lift, the occasional lie, deliberately disobeying my rules just because she thinks it's a stupid rule....it all adds up, folks. It adds up to a parent who is absolutely fed up. Her two year old son is walking around saying "f***" and "kiss my a**" but SHE didnt' do it, she says. Well, SOMEBODY is cussing around him enough for him to know they're bad words. It makes me sick to my stomach. She's so quick to blame my opinions and feelings on my boyfriend. We're moving in with him at the end of the month, about 75 miles away, and she's rebelling big time against that. There is NO doubt in my mind that he will be good for her/to her, and to my grandson. He's been in our lives for over 2 years now. He's in the long haul, regardless of how she feels about him. I've told her that she WILL be attending the high school there, where we're moving to, for her senior year. She's basically refused to do that. So we'll see what happens. She hasn't proved to me that she's willing to work for what she wants....i.e., finishing her senior year here where she's done her 3 other years of high school. Oh, she's working now for those material things she wants. That's a positive. I'm just tired. I don't understand how I've done such a horrible job at parenting with her. She's got such troubles. She either moves with us and does her senior year down there, or she can be a high-school drop out and pay me rent, or she can go on her own. If she's not in school, she'll not get a free ride from me.
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