Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 (edited) Have you ever considered cooking a dinner shortly before he comes? Assuming that you're already in the flat a while before that happens? It might be a nice surprise and would kill any possibility for a lenghty discussion about money? I've done that before. He runs out of food constantly though because he eats so much (he weightlifts every day) and I buy some food when I'm here, but there are sometimes when I'll get home from work and already have eaten and he'll get home later and there won't be anything for him to eat and thats when he offers to take me out to dinner. (not just because there is no food, just as a surprise sometimes). Now, that is new. So there seems to be some consideration for your situation on his side after all. How often does that happen? Compared to him flat out offering to pay? One time in ten? 9 in 10? 5 in ten? Well, yeah there is some. Thats kind of what we agreed on recently during our "talk." He used to suggest we do things more expensive like a movie (it cost like $9 to see a movie in the theater where we live, it's rediculous). If his friend is here visiting from Ohio then we usually go to eat at somewhere cheaper and it will be his idea and I'll just pay for myself. Compared to him flat out offering to pay he'll NOT offer about 3-4 out of the 10 times we'll go out. It's especially hard when his friend visits because he is a high roller who loves to go out. So usually in that situation my boyfriend knows he is going to be spending a lot of money so he won't offer to pay for me as well. I'll either let them go by themself or pay for myself if I can afford to. He can't pay? Why?? When his best friend comes for a weekend from Ohio, he wants to go out a lot and spend a lot of money (dinners, bars, clubs, ect.) So my boyfriend knows he is going to be doing that, and usually can't afford to pay for both of us. So I understand that. I mean he does have bills and stuff. I asked him why he suggests we do something and then doesn't offer to treat and he says that he thinks he offers enough and doesn't want to limit our going out just on his wallet. I did explain to him though that I like to stretch my money as far as it can go, so if I'm going to go out to eat I generally would rather go somewhere relatively inexpensive. He loves the Olive Garden and I just don't want to drop 25 bucks on just one meal for myself when I could have bought groceries for like 4 or 5 days. So he said if he isn't offering to pay he would take into consideration my tight budget. So hopefully that will avoid further fights. Edited January 7, 2008 by Lauriebell82
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 7, 2008 Author Posted January 7, 2008 Just wanted to add something: I feel that since we had a couple of great talks and discussed how to handle our finances in our apartment we have had the best time together. I feel like our relationship is back on track!!!
Nevermind Posted January 7, 2008 Posted January 7, 2008 I am glad to hear it. Good luck with the talks in the future, too! Communication is the key.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted January 8, 2008 Author Posted January 8, 2008 I am glad to hear it. Good luck with the talks in the future, too! Communication is the key. Thanks for all your help. Hopefully we can stop fighting about this now!!!
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