Ectopic Pregnancy

[Sarita12385]

Worst weekend of my life. I found out I may be having an ectopic pregnancy which will mean I need some type of surgery to remove the pregnancy. How horrible. I've never been so sad in my life. I'm so scared I will never be able to have children. I'm only 23 yrs old and I feel like such an important part of my life is gone forever. I'm just so beside myself right now. So sad and so depressed, and terrified. I'm praying I will be able to have children w/o having to go thru this each time, but it's hard to keep my hopes up at all.

 

I'm currently waiting on blood test results that I had this morning to see if my pregnancy hormone went up. If it did go up, there's still a chance I can carry this baby, but if not - into the OR tomorrow for surgery

 

Any advice is more than appreciated.

[blind_otter]

Wow that is so sad to hear. I've heard to ectopic pregnancies but never met anyone who had one. How far along are you? Was this a planned pregnancy?

[Lyssa]

I'm so sorry to hear about your ectopic pregnancy! This must be a very trying time for you. All I can offer is a cyber hug for you.... this is really sad to hear.

 

[[[sarita]]]

[Confused9]

I am very sorry.

[carrotgirl]

Here's to hoping for the best, but just in case, I believe there are options available to save the tube and minimize scarring etc....

 

http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancycomplications/ectopicpregnancy.html

http://www.plannedparenthood.org/birth-control-pregnancy/pregnancy/ectopic-pregnancy.htm

 

{{Hug}}}

Carrot

[quankanne]

aw, sarita, I'm truly sorry to hear this *hug*

 

however, I think in the larger scope of things, ectopics are kind of the fluke among pregnancies – it doesn't always happen when conception takes place, from what I remember from bio classes. If it helps, check with your doctor or even a fertility specialist to see how it impacts future pregnancies – with all the strides made in medicine, I'm sure what was true 5-10 years ago may have already been improved by now ...

[Great Gazoo]

I am sorry and I hope your blood test results give you positive news. Did they catch this with a ultrasound? My wife had a ectopic pregnancy almost 2 years ago and that is how they found it. My wife did not have to have surgery they gave a single dose of a cancer drug Methotrexate, it could be a possibility for yourself if that is the case. There is less chance of damaging the tube by not leaving scars.

 

I hope that it is not the case and everything is ok, if you want to know anything or have any questions feel free to ask. I know it can complicate things but please try not to lose hope, we have not. Take care

[Sarita12385]

Well I am about a month along, give or take. I had an ultra sound, and they could not see ANYthing on the ultrasound in my uterus OR tubes, so it's not 100% for sure, however due to my current pregnancy hormone, they're "assuming" it is ectopic. I will find out soon tho. I have been told about the cancer cell type treatment rather than undergoing surgery, so we'll see what my options are. I've read that 100,000 women go thru this each year, and most have had children afterwards. I just hope I'm lucky enough to still carry children.

 

And yes, this was a planned pregnancy. My husband and I are really hoping for a miracle with this one.

 

Just keep us in your prayers.

[marlena]

You will be lucky enough, Sarita. You must believe that. You are still very young. Hopefully, you will have good news and will be able to carry this pregnancy to full term. If not, medicine has made great strides and I am sure you will one day be like "the lady in the shoe that had so many children she didn'tknow what to do."

 

 

Take good care of yourself.

 

Marlena

[kkthxbye]

I have to give you a big hug here. First of all, I have to say, I'm proud of you for staying as strong as you are. No matter what happens, you will be alive. You will be healthy, and you will have hope. I will share my story, if it is alright. And maybe you will see some hope to help you get through this. This is very hard to live through, and I tell myself that I am still alive today to help someone, anyone, in the world, if at least just once.

 

 

I had an Ectopic pregnancy in September of 1999. I found out I was pregnant after leaving my estranged 1st husband, a marriage that should have stayed just friends. It was unplanned, unexpected, and took me by surprise. I was 24 years old.

 

I found out because I had a period for 3 weeks straight. I went to the hospital and they said I was pregnant, but most likely miscarrying. Pain killers later, they sent me home with no hope, except to get better. So I forced myself not to get used to the idea of being a mommy. I was about 5 weeks along at this point? They never could tell me definitely. The pain began in my side, and I began bleeding even more severely. I had just moved back home to Texas from Little Rock, and lived by myself in a little apartment, and had just started my job. I had no medical insurance. I was waiting for my separation term to begin, in Texas 6 months you have to wait in case of reconciliation. Well, departing sex was our last ditch effort, and that is where it all began to go down hill.

 

I jumped from doctor to doctor, because they never seemed to take new patients. I began to feel my lack of insurance was the problem, so I went to a private hospital and pleaded my case for any doctor to help me through this, offering what little cash I had. I found one who offered his assistance. This was September. Late in the month the bleeding was still severe, and my new doctor kept assuring me it will pass, to keep taking the pain killers. Since this was my first pregnancy, and first miscarriage, I had to take his word on it. He did several sonograms, vaginal and belly and couldn't find the baby. My HCG level kept rising to his surprise. He assured me the baby may be just nestling in the womb, and that causes bleeding. It didn't take a medical degree to see that a tiny microscopic fetus nestling would cause this much trouble. But I see he just wanted to find hope somewhere.

 

He looked thru my medical papers to help locate any diseases or just to put him on the right track. Finally, in early November, he called stating he believes it was trapped in my tube. I had suffered a bad infection as a teenager that may have caused scar tissue to form in my fallopian tubes.

 

He gave me two options. Liparoscopic surgery through the navel and quick results. Option two was an experimental therapy with a drug called Methaltrexate. It is used in cancer patients to rid the body of "unnatural" cells. A sort of forced abortion using a dose of cancer medicine. This was a one time shot, and 24 hours in the hospital with no side effects, I could be on my way to a pain free life. He also mentioned "this is cheaper than surgery". I asked the nurse who entered after the doctor left me to think, and she said, "don't do the shot. take the surgery. I'm so not supposed to tell you this." and she quickly left.

 

I remember this, because in my state of mind and pain, I took the shot, and regretted not listening to the nurse. I left the hospital. I was due back in to get my blood drawn to make sure my HCG level was dropping. Three days after my shot, I was feeling better, so I didn't think badly of missing my appointment. I showed up, but had missed so much of work, I couldn't stay over 2 hours. I had been there an hour already and they were overbooked and couldn't get my appointment met in a timely manner to quickly draw blood. I left and returned to work.

 

The next night, I felt a sudden unbearable pain in my side and dropped to the floor. My mother was supposed to come get me in the morning for a Thanksgiving dinner party at her house across town. Family was arriving early and she'd be along after they came. I just needed to hold on until then. I didn't have a phone, and no cell phone. My nightgown was soaked with sweat so I went out onto the patio to catch my breath and inhale the chilly air. It was about 55 degrees I would guess. I laid down on the cold patio to look up at the stars. It was a clear night, and I needed a distraction from the pain. I began feeling my toes go cold, then numb. Then my fingers the same way. I grew scared when it spread up my legs to my knees, then from my wrists to my elbows. It dawned on me that my body was shutting down. It all seemed to happen so fast. I wondered if this was it? Was this my end on this earth? I felt strange sensations in my body that I hadn't known before. And I began to panic. I decided to hold on until morning, mom would find me, and I would be ok. I cried and hollered for help, but I don't think any words came out of my mouth. My breathing grew shallow, and I became dizzy. To calm myself, I began talking to my baby.

 

This all sounds very strange, I know, but I recall everything because It is a pivot point in my life that changed me forever.

 

I named my baby "little star". I told him, that mommy gets to take him to a better place where there is no pain for either of us. He should feel very lucky, because most mommies don't get to go with their little ones when they leave the earth. I told him I was scared too, but we would do it together. I never met him, but I knew he was there, and I loved him unselfishly. I closed my eyes, and waited for us to leave. That took so much courage, but I had to be strong somehow, and this was what I thought of.

 

I laid there for almost one more day before my mother came and found me. The tube had ruptured, and I had internally bled, almost to death. I only remember what my mother told me after that.

 

I had re constructive surgery, three organs had tissue wrapped around them, and the tube was lost. I have 58% scar tissue in my remaining tube, and the safest way to conceive would be the petri dish method. But before we go that expensive route, I had to get through facing life again. When I awoke, and I wasn't dead, but alive, I had to get through hormones crashing, medical bills piled up, and the loss of my baby, even though a fetus never to have been, he still stuck with me til the end. My doctor can't believe I survived, he said so himself before the morphine drip started.

 

He made a clear inscision across my bikini line, and it healed nicely. It was painful regaining muscle strength as all of them were operated on. Walking was the first step. It took me a week. I was stationed in the labor and delivery wing, and my room had a maroon rose on the door that read, "in mourning." Pregnant women walking the halls hushed as I held the rail regaining strength. I pushed it aside, and charged ahead. I couldn't let little star down, he sacrificed so I could live. I had counselors arrive to walk me through the depression and healing stages, that took two more weeks. I could go home when I could shower on my own.

 

My life began again, but it took years for me to really begin living happily and with hope.

 

Your risk for more ectopic pregnancies are auto stamped at high after having one. I was told there is no way, I am barren. But, I still have a womb, so there are options. I am choosing at this phase of my life to not pursue another pregnancy.

 

There have been thousands of cases where mothers had ectopic pregnancies and went on to have natural and comfortable pregnancies. My sister-in-law is one of them. So it all depends on your body, your condition, and your history. And of course, depends on how much hope you carry with you, faith if you want to call it, and how much courage to continue on your path for motherhood.

 

Please take time to consider your health. If it is ectopic, it is a life threatening pregnancy, and you must let it go. It will be very hard, and you will have some emotional issues to resolve as well as hormonal. There have been some comforting articles about dealing with this, and I even have a little ceremony once a year where I light a candle. It helps for me to thank Little Star for saving my life, by letting go.

 

I look at like this: Something is wrong, it is not meant to be, and your body is protecting itself. Its not the baby's fault, not your fault, its, more of a test drive at the early stages to check your body's capabilities. That's how my husband put it, and I liked how it sounded. It helped. My mother even had a few miscarriages in her early 20's, then went on to bear 6 healthy children. Its harsh to think of it as test drives, but I don't know how else to put it, I think of my body as a machine, and keep the emotions of trying for babies over the years separate from the mechanics of the body.

 

I pray to all the Gods of the universe, that it is not ectopic for you. I pray in every language, in every religion, in my mind, soul, and heart for you to come out of this as a new mother to a healthy baby. I give you my hope, my strength, and my will to fight through this, and keep your head held high. There is a life at the end of this tunnel, and you have the strength to walk it. Please keep me posted on your progress, and if you need any kind of support at all, I'll be happy to give you a private email address where you can find help coping. I'll be happy to pass along the articles I have cut out in my scrap book dealing with loss, if it happens, and I will be happy to help you get through it if you need any. I hope you don't, but just in case.

[reddog63]

Worst weekend of my life. I found out I may be having an ectopic pregnancy which will mean I need some type of surgery to remove the pregnancy. How horrible. I've never been so sad in my life. I'm so scared I will never be able to have children. I'm only 23 yrs old and I feel like such an important part of my life is gone forever. I'm just so beside myself right now. So sad and so depressed, and terrified. I'm praying I will be able to have children w/o having to go thru this each time, but it's hard to keep my hopes up at all.

 

I'm currently waiting on blood test results that I had this morning to see if my pregnancy hormone went up. If it did go up, there's still a chance I can carry this baby, but if not - into the OR tomorrow for surgery

 

Any advice is more than appreciated.

 

My wife had this before having 3 other children. From what I understood, the fertized egg attached to the ovary. They were able to remove it and that ovary still produced eggs. I do remember that the eptopic pregancy happened on our very first try to have kids........after that it took 2 years or so to get preganant.......after first child, we could pop them out like pezz candy.

[Sarita12385]

Thank you all for your replies, and kkthxbye - what a moving story, definitely brought tears to my eyes, you are an amazing woman and so very strong, may you be blessed with only the best of things in the future.

 

The day I went in for my D&C, I began bleeding on my own, and the doc said is was most likely my body producing a natural miscarriage, which meant i didn't need th D&C. They still thing there's a cist someone near my right ovary which I need to have checked again, but I am praying the worst is over and I can just heal now.

 

It was suggested I wait at least 2 cycles before we try for children again so we'll see. I will never be over this fear until the day I pop a child out lol.

 

Thank you all for the support

[whichwayisup]

I am sorry that you had to go through this. Take good care of yourself, rest and make sure too, that they do keep an eye on that cyst to make sure it isn't growing too big.

[London Girl]

Hi Sarita, your post caught my eye and made me feel sad as last year I had an ectopic pregnancy. I was 11 weeks and my right fallopian tube where the baby was growing had already ruptured and I was experiencing internal bleeding. My doctor was surprised I had not already collapsed.

 

I had to have emergency operation and because the baby was quite big they had to remove my right fallopian tube. It was a very sad time for me, knowing how much I wanted this baby and that the baby was healthy but the surgeon had to end the pregnancy for the sake of my own life. I was an emotional wreck and suffered depression as a result - also like you facing questions about the possibililty of being able to conceive again.

 

I do feel for you as I know how you feel. It is so difficult to lose a baby whether it was planned or not. Be positive and strong. I'm sorry to hear your sad news.