fral945 Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 I had a new's year first date. Mine are usually uneventful, but this time I wanted to do something different. I've never really dated in my life, but figured I'd give it a try. Had no/low expectations. Met the girl online and this was our first face-to-face meeting. Everything went well. Problem for me was too well. We had our kiss at midnight at the party, and after that she was all over me. We made out quite a bit that night before heading back to her place. We were all over each other, and being drunk didn't help with my judgement. We had sex (though not all that great, as we were both very drunk) and pretty much fooled around the whole night. I enjoyed it, the problem is I'm not that attracted to her and I don't think there is a long term potential. But I think she must have really enjoyed it, because she kept telling me "I love you" that night and telling me the same thing on a phone conversation the next day. She already indicated on the phone she'd like to get together again sometime and cook for me. As I am essentially new dating, I don't know how to handle this. I haven't had any previous relationships. I've never had anything progress this quickly, and it's a little scary she's already telling me she loves me after 1 date. How should I handle this? I want to tell her I don't see a long-term potential, but I'm afraid the having sex part gave her the wrong idea on my part. I know I'm probably going to hurt her feelings no matter what, I just don't know the best way to tell her.
Krytie TV Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 She was a willing participant in the sex thing my friend. She can't possibly be expecting you to think long term after one date. If she continues to push the sex, go with it if you want to, just make it clear if asked that you don't see long term potential. She's as much to blame for the sex as you.
Author fral945 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Posted January 2, 2008 That's kinda what I thought. I didn't push the sex, that's for sure (though I did go along with it, lol). Just kinda scares me that she's telling me she loves me already. For me it was just fun & sex.
blind_otter Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 I would be worried if a date was telling me "I love you" on the first date. If she's worth it, broach the subject and have a convo about that issue. If you're not attracted and see no long term potential, however, I would chalk it up to incompatibility and stop seeing her.
EYECANDY000 Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 the best thing to dois not lead her on .. Tell her that you were intoxicated and you have bad judgements. and that your not seeking a relationship right now. Her telling you that she love you could be because she was drunk, or she is really seeking someone to be with and she wears her heart on her sleeve. Dont string thins girl on and break her heart in the end, Let her know now since its still in the early stages
Jilly Bean Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 OK, ease your guilty jets there, cowboy! She is a nutbag. Any chick who says ILY on the FIRST date is not rowing with both oars in the water. You didn't make her promises that if she slept with you, you would marry her, so no, you did nothing to lead her on. She slept with you as her own individual action. What happened is called a ONE NIGHT STAND. You have a reasonable attraction for someone, you screw, and then realize you want nothing to do with them. I would call her and tell her that you had a great time with her, but you and your ex-gf have decided to get back together. It's the best and easiest way to get rid of someone, as it doesn't leave them as personalizing the rejection as much.
Author fral945 Posted January 2, 2008 Author Posted January 2, 2008 OK, ease your guilty jets there, cowboy! She is a nutbag. Any chick who says ILY on the FIRST date is not rowing with both oars in the water. You didn't make her promises that if she slept with you, you would marry her, so no, you did nothing to lead her on. She slept with you as her own individual action. I agree, even though I'm a little wet behind the ears, I know it's not normal to say ILY after 1 date. I had a feeling she might be that way from talking to her, but I went on the date anyway. Chalk that up to inexperience or naivety. On a side note, I left some clothes at her place. I'm thinking I might just leave them there and cut my losses, lol.
Jilly Bean Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 On a side note, I left some clothes at her place. I'm thinking I might just leave them there and cut my losses, lol. LOL. If I still had the clothes I have loaned, lost in hotel rooms, or left and guys places post-breakup, I'd need another closet. You may be new to dating, but your instincts are correct. Trust them.
jumping-jacks Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 I wouldn't be as concerned about the I love You's when she was drunk but after she is sober is a different story.
Jilly Bean Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 I wouldn't be as concerned about the I love You's when she was drunk but after she is sober is a different story. As he wrote, she was saying ILU on the phone the next day...
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