JustinWolf Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Damn, new year hit me like a bullet. I mean, I was doing fine for a while, not speaking to her and all and then new years comes along and here I am sitting in front of my laptop sending her IM's on AIM. I want her back, it's been like around 2 months we broke up and she has this new bf. Always telling me how much he deserves her love because he's always there for her and how he's such a sweet guy ready for anything for her. I feel he's just a rebound guy but then again. I really want her back and get that other guy out of the picture, but, i don't know how to do so. Help guys!
s_n_d Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 I dont think theres anything you can do. She does has a bf. Whats your situation. Why did it end for you two.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 JustinWolf, What happened between you too? I think you should stop talking to her, go in no contact with her, it will help you heal after your breakup. She has a boyfriend now and sounds happy - you need to move on and be happy.
Aiorios Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 k, what you should do man is completely not speak to her. simple and excruciatingly difficult to do, but it will get the job done. give yourself the time to do things you want to do. Go out, if your shy then simply look for some fun activities. hang out with some friends, go to a park to walk. It is always best to be proactive than sitting at home typing stuff up in the net. once you see how large the world is out there, youll defenitely see her in a smaller scale.
THE THRONE Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Why are you wasting your time contacting her? Did she waste time contacting you on New Years? NO. THE THRONE says she probably brought in the New Years on her knee's, so THE THRONE has bit of advice for you--move on. If you were able to snag her, you'll be able to snag another one, man.
Author JustinWolf Posted January 3, 2008 Author Posted January 3, 2008 Well i was having hard time showing her emotions cuz i'm the laid back kinda guy. Not the type of guy that runs after girl's with love affection and stuff. Anyways, she fell in love and we started going out too and she knew I didn't believe in love and well we had some fights mainly because of me because I loved being with her and seeing her go away just made sorrowful. Anyways, I realised I loved her and during our last month together and I always was there for her, talking to her and all and at one point, we had a little fight on the phone and she dropped me cold. And that's coming from a girl that told me that I was her first true love and that she never loved someone as much as me and she'd always be there for me, even 20 years later. Yea. After like 2 weeks no news from her.
THE THRONE Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Listen to THE THRONE and you won't go wrong. What you were doing was a bit on the extreme side. You have to walk a fine line with women not lean all the way to the left or right if you know what I mean. You should have showed some type of emotion every now and then, but what is done is done. Right now you need to focus on yourself, and you also need to realize that she has moved on with her life. You mentioned something important when you said, " And that's coming from a girl that told me that I was her first true love and that she never loved someone as much as me and she'd always be there for me, even 20 years later. Yea. After like 2 weeks no news from her." Actions speak LOUDER than words, remember that.
Lee725 Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Hi Justinwolf, you must let her go, i am sorry. I dont think that there is a way to get her back now if she is so happy. Even if you did, would you want her back now she has been with someone else?, that would always be something that would be between you in the future. You may think that you would be able to forget about him, but i can assure you that you will not be able to. Especially if you did get back together and then had some sort of disagreement, he would come up in conversation for sure, and probably not in the right context either. it is very difficult to let go, it may be important for you to go NC also because with her constantly reminding you of how happy she is now while you are sad, it will not help you at all.
Author JustinWolf Posted January 3, 2008 Author Posted January 3, 2008 Should I just block her and delete her? Right now, I'm feeling a lot better and yes, I do miss her but a lot less than before and I know eventually it'll go away and I won't hold hope for the future but if anything happens we'll see. Just gotta control myself from speaking to her I guess...
THE THRONE Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 Should I just block her and delete her? Right now, I'm feeling a lot better and yes, I do miss her but a lot less than before and I know eventually it'll go away and I won't hold hope for the future but if anything happens we'll see. Just gotta control myself from speaking to her I guess... Yes, block and delete her. Afterwards, no contact PERIOD.
Author JustinWolf Posted January 5, 2008 Author Posted January 5, 2008 I just realised something, when I was talking to her a bit last night before the NC thing, just to see how she would react. Let's say I went and said Hi to her, she's the kind of girl that replies immediately but she didn't she took like a couple of minutes and then said "hi how r u?" thing is, it's like the same for me, when she says hi, my heart starts to race like crazy and to settle it down, I wait a bit before replying to her msg. Maybe I'm over analysing this one but I feel that she doesn't even have a boyfriend. The only source I got is her. She's the one who said she has a boyfriend and she went on a huge speech about how cool and sweet he is and he'd die for her and stuff like that. She did tell me his name and all, I found him on her myspace but there's no telling of them being together, no pictures of them, nothing. When she changes her picture too, it's always when she hangs out with people and everytime I saw one of her pics, it's her with her friends and never with that guy... am I over analysing this one too? Could she have lied to me?
s_n_d Posted January 5, 2008 Posted January 5, 2008 Absolutely possible. Ive had friends suggest to me that I should see someone else and see how jealous my ex gets.. But i never did that because Its just too rude in my opinion.
Lee725 Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 I found him on her myspace but there's no telling of them being together, no pictures of them, nothing. When she changes her picture too, it's always when she hangs out with people and everytime I saw one of her pics, it's her with her friends and never with that guy... am I over analysing this one too? Could she have lied to me? You could try this, do it very carefully tho, cause you could get more hurt. Ask about him, his age, hair colour, eye colour, family, personal initmate questions that she would know. If you can do it on the phone, gauge her tone and responses, any hesitation or refusal to answer could indicate lying. Dont do it on any other media because she can think about it, you need to put her on the spot. If he is SO wonderful, she is so happy, he is so perfect and he would DIE for her, she should know EVERYTHING about him. I say this hesitantly my friend tho, because if she is telling the truth you could get much more information than you need to know and do more damage to yourself. There will be some that will disagree with doing this and the better part of me is saying dont, but now you have the idea that she is lying it is something that you will be thinking about and it could give you unfounded hope.
Author JustinWolf Posted January 6, 2008 Author Posted January 6, 2008 I don't think I want to know, but I keep going to her myspace page see if anything updates. See any information, just a sign ANYTHING! The only reason why I don't want to know is because I could find out she doesn't have a boyfriend and then I'll be filled with unnecessary hope or I find out she does have a boyfriend and I'll be in pain even more. i'm so lost.
oppath Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 If you are lost, here is your compass. She dumped you. Unless there were a suite of things she was unhappy with about you and how you treated her and you have changed, she needs to go through hell and high water to even have a sniff of you! That is your compass. She left you. If she wants you back, she has to earn you. It doesn't matter if her new boyfriend is hypothetical. Stop looking at her myspace page. If you use firefox, download an add-on to block certain websites so you cannot look at her page. Just stop. I understand your feelings. I understand you are hurt. I understand this will take you a long time to move on because you don't believe you can find another love. Well I have news for you, you will. You will find someone even better for you. Why? Going through pain like this is one of the most difficult, but most rewarding things you will experience. You will learn so much about yourself and what you want in a partner. She's not perfect. she has flaws. As you navigate through your pain, healing, and eventually not caring and eventually dating other women, you will understand why it was meant to hurt so much. And one day, you will meet someone who makes you realize why it never worked with her to begin with.
Author JustinWolf Posted January 6, 2008 Author Posted January 6, 2008 Thanks a lot oppath, your words mean a lot. I believe you are right on this one because I guess eventually, we all go through things like these and continue living on with more strenght. I guess this only made me stronger. I was wondering though, because it's her bday in like a month and currently I'm doing NC, should I at least send her a "happy bday" msg or something when the time is right because right now I have blocked her and I think it'd be sort of weird. She will find out I had her blocked and suddenly unblocked just to say "happy bday." :S
Lee725 Posted January 6, 2008 Posted January 6, 2008 I would not send the message Justinwolf, NC is NC, and even tho you would like to say Happy B'day because it is the nice thing to do, it will only let her know that you are thinking about her & thats something you dont want. She needs to know that you are getting on with your life.
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