jdeedee Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 It's been a month now and whenever I'm alone I still cry at least once or twice a day, sometimes when driving... Is that even close to normal?
s_n_d Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Everyone takes pain differently. The first few weeks, Anything I saw that reminded me of him made me tear up. After that and still to this day, I have no more tears left to cry. Even if i tried to just let it out..Nothing..
s_n_d Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 And i never thought Id ever see the day where I would get to see my ex cry.. But unfortunately I did during the breakup. Its not something you want for someone you love. To see them in pain.
alyyyhsa Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 it's been a month for me too and im still crying. then again, i'm also leaving the country, which means i'm also leaving my friends and family. so this is just a highly emotional time for me. i never thought i'd be crying for this long over a boy though i don't know when it's going to end...
PinkRibbon Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 I have been crying for 3 months now. The first 2 months were uncontrollable now it is maybe twice-three times a week and only for a few minutes each time. But I am still crying. I don't know when I'll stop but I imagine when I am mentally ready. I hope?
alyyyhsa Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 I don't know when I'll stop but I imagine when I am mentally ready. I hope? yeah, i guess my problem is that i haven't been fully committed to letting go...so i guess if i do that, the crying might stop? haha. i don't want to yet! 1
PinkRibbon Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 I wonder how a person fully committs to letting go? I feel like part of me was cut off without my permission. And I don't want to accept the fact it is not there anymore. I know it is not there and won't ever be back but accepting the fact has been harder for me. Ok time to cry.
confuse80 Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 let me join the crying club, been crying a lot and its been 2 months. i think its also got to do with the holiday season where we used to spend this wonderful time with our ex but now it just emptiness and loneliness. i think once the holiday spirits gone it would be easier for us to not cry as much anymore. 1
sedgwick Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 It's been six months and I still cry over him at least twice a week, I'd say. I've never loved anyone like this and I've never cried over anyone like this. I wish it HAD hurt him to see me cry, because he made me cry more than anyone I've ever been with, by a long shot. But I'm not sure he even noticed he was hurting me -- he just noticed I wasn't a musician, and as such, it didn't really matter how I felt. I wish that just once in a great while he'd think of how he hurt me and feel bad about it, but I doubt he even remembers me at this point. I will never love anyone else again. I have made a very conscious decision never to put myself through this again, and I no longer believe men can be trusted. I didn't even know it was POSSIBLE to cry this much.
alyyyhsa Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 i was cut off without my permission too. plus, i blame it partially on my leaving the country for four months. so i'm not fully committed to letting him go because as unrealistic as this may seem, i am holding on to the hope that maybe we can start over when i return...
Author jdeedee Posted January 2, 2008 Author Posted January 2, 2008 let me join the crying club, been crying a lot and its been 2 months. i think its also got to do with the holiday season where we used to spend this wonderful time with our ex but now it just emptiness and loneliness. i think once the holiday spirits gone it would be easier for us to not cry as much anymore. I think this might be part of it. It's the holidays, it also is a year since me and my ex started dating and just going through similar events a year later -- without her, makes everything really intense and sad. I am not looking forward to valentine's day.
PinkRibbon Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Oh jeesey creesy I forgot about Valentines Day right around the darn corner. I hope his Christmas sucked without me.
Jmina Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 a month is nothing! give yourself time! it is very normal. i still cry occasionally and its been 7 months for me. eased at about 6 months. dont feel like you should be in any where in your healing just accept how you feel and go with the flow of it. Jmina x
jerbear Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Everyone has their way of dealing. It might be awhile if your teary eyed while driving. Just pull over, drink some water and ball away. Ask a few friends to take you out and enjoy life. The crying from the pain and hurt will stop. It may take 1 week to a lifetime. Just let it takes its course. Honestly it will get better with time.
Trialbyfire Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 jdeedee, I don't know if you're male or female but here's a thread to read, no matter what gender you are. A little over a month is a short period but don't be someone who gets stuck in the moment. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t139983/
NotMyselfNEmore Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 It's going to be 2 years this April. I still cry over him. Not as often as I used to, which was every hour. I used to walk around tired and sad. Very depressed... now I only think of him every 3-4 hours. Last time I cried over him was when I wrote a heart-felt letter that I never actually sent. I will have to agree with you on this Sedgwick.... I have never loved anyone, and I mean ANYONE the way I love him. But I must let go soon because my tears are not letting me see the sun. I will get better.. I know. I haven't let go yet but I am preparing for that moment. I had to set up a specific date to do this. Everyone's different... dates work best for me. So, April 28th, 2008 it is for me. Wish me strength.
s_n_d Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 It's going to be 2 years this April. I still cry over him. Not as often as I used to, which was every hour. I used to walk around tired and sad. Very depressed... now I only think of him every 3-4 hours. Last time I cried over him was when I wrote a heart-felt letter that I never actually sent. I will have to agree with you on this Sedgwick.... I have never loved anyone, and I mean ANYONE the way I love him. But I must let go soon because my tears are not letting me see the sun. I will get better.. I know. I haven't let go yet but I am preparing for that moment. I had to set up a specific date to do this. Everyone's different... dates work best for me. So, April 28th, 2008 it is for me. Wish me strength. I love him to death. I havent felt love for ANYONE before either and neither has he... Until we found eachother. To quote a line from a song.. "Even if you took my heart and tore it apart, I would love you still..forever" This is exactly how i feel for him. I love his family as my own.
Author jdeedee Posted January 2, 2008 Author Posted January 2, 2008 jdeedee, I don't know if you're male or female but here's a thread to read, no matter what gender you are. A little over a month is a short period but don't be someone who gets stuck in the moment. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t139983/ I'm male but I definetly am the stereotypical female in a relationship. Which I've just come to accept. I tend to get stuck in the moment, hopefully the therapist appointment I've been trying to set up will help.
Author jdeedee Posted January 2, 2008 Author Posted January 2, 2008 I was doing pretty good today, my first day back at work and I hadn't had a fit once. Then I started talking to a mutual friend, explaining what happened and next thing I knew I was back into tears. I think its time for me to stop revisiting everything over and over, I don't think its helping anymore.
Tyra Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 I would say that, that's close to normal, especially if you have been dealing with the guy for quite a while. But everyone has their own way of coping with their feelings and emotions.
NotMyselfNEmore Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 I love him to death. I havent felt love for ANYONE before either and neither has he... Until we found eachother. To quote a line from a song.. "Even if you took my heart and tore it apart, I would love you still..forever" This is exactly how i feel for him. I love his family as my own. It's funny how someone comes in and breaks our heart but we still love them with all the pieces that are scattered all over the floor.... that's just something I don't get. I wish we were able to turn off our emotions as soon as something like this happens but it seems to me that all we do is love them even more.....sad, sad, sad....
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 I'm male but I definetly am the stereotypical female in a relationship. Which I've just come to accept. I tend to get stuck in the moment, hopefully the therapist appointment I've been trying to set up will help. While I'm a firm believer in therapy, this might be too soon. Why not wait another month and see how you progress?
Author jdeedee Posted January 3, 2008 Author Posted January 3, 2008 While I'm a firm believer in therapy, this might be too soon. Why not wait another month and see how you progress? Not to get into details but this situation isnt entirely unique. I have a strong tendancy to pine for exes, I'm a child of divorce and have a recent deceased father so I think I have a bit of a dependency/abandonment issue to work on. It's free through the school so I think a session can't hurt. I know myself and I wont get over her for months or even years until I just replace her with a new love, thats not really healthy.
Trialbyfire Posted January 3, 2008 Posted January 3, 2008 Not to get into details but this situation isnt entirely unique. I have a strong tendancy to pine for exes, I'm a child of divorce and have a recent deceased father so I think I have a bit of a dependency/abandonment issue to work on. It's free through the school so I think a session can't hurt. I know myself and I wont get over her for months or even years until I just replace her with a new love, thats not really healthy. Thanks for the explanation. It makes way more sense now. Yes, the last thing you want, is to get stuck at a point and be unable to climb out. Props for being willing to admit this and getting some professional help. Not everyone is realistic enough to know that sometimes, you need a helping hand.
PinkRibbon Posted January 4, 2008 Posted January 4, 2008 a month is nothing! give yourself time! it is very normal. i still cry occasionally and its been 7 months for me. eased at about 6 months. dont feel like you should be in any where in your healing just accept how you feel and go with the flow of it. Jmina x 7 months? I hope my husband's life sucks.
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