AriaIncognito Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 I didn't text my ex (any of them haha) with a Happy New Year. Did you?? Let's celebrate!
Geishawhelk Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 I didn't text my ex (any of them haha) with a Happy New Year. Ran out of credit, or too many ex's....? or both!? Happy new one! make it a great 2008!
randuff Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 I didn't.... But God do I miss her soooooo much right now..... It's killing me And I shouldn't feel this way.
Ashbash11 Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Nope! And he didn't text me either... A little tiny part of me wishes he had, but I'm proud that I didn't break NC... even for New Years! I'm still going strong!
Geishawhelk Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 (edited) I didn't.... But God do I miss her soooooo much right now..... It's killing me And I shouldn't feel this way. No. You shouldn't. Because at the risk of sounding far too deep, far too early in the year, a love that makes you feel like this, isn't good for you. Unfortunately, believe it or not (and I know it sounds way off) the pain you feel, while a legitimate response to an emotional stimulus, is in fact self-inflicted. You're doing this to yourself. You're hammering away at your own heart and it's painful. Isn't it? as someone who's had a bit of fundamental training, let me see if I can offer some help. Many would try to advise you to get out a bit, seek new friends, do new things, try to let go.... All good stuff. Not ever easy.... So you know what I advise? Stick with it. Feel the pain. Focus your attention on every single bit of you that's hurt, in pain, that's crying, that is aching and nagging at you.... Go right into the middle of it. Rip it apart and seek its centre. Feel everything... From the top of your head to the tip of your toes. And ask: "What is it that is hurting?" (Because something as tangible as standing on a drawing pin {thumb tack} is obvious. Get off it. But something like this... well, it's subtle, see?) "What is it that is causing this pain? (Don't say your ex. She's the origin, not the cause.... the cause is different....) "Where do i find it? How can I isolate it? Where is it most? Where is it least?" Give yourself time to answer these questions. They might sound stupid, but they help you focus - really focus - on the seat of the suffering you're going through right now. And don't run away from it. Don't try to deflect it, or hide from it. Face it. Head on. Challenge it. Challenge it to stay if it dares, because now you're in the process of tearing it to shreds.... It's not easy. But it's ultimately very satisfying, because you are regaining control of what affects you. Incidentally, when you answer the question, "Where is it least?", if the ferocity of the emotion tries to take you unawares, and you find yourself going back to the pain - focus on this place 'where it is least'. Think on it, and let the addiction to the sadness, dissipate.... Remember: Things can only hurt us for longer than they should, if we give them the all-clear to do so.... Edited January 1, 2008 by Geishawhelk
Lyssa Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Aria! I didn't text my ex too!! Good for us! Wooohooo!!!
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Texting feels 'old school' to me I've never really been a mobile-text aholic. I prefer phone conversations or msn video/voice conversations - to me they are more meaningful than seeing letters on a screen
sedgwick Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Nope, I kept him blocked through the holidays, like I have for the last four months. I'm so happy the holiday season is now OVER and I prevailed! It feels so good. Yay!
randuff Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 Thanks Geisha! You are right. It's all my doing. I am the one that lets it bother me and and at times when I feel down I ask myself why? She was the one that wronged me and was a bad person not me. The most ridiculous thing is that if we got back together I wouldn't be able to trust her anyways. All in all I think I just miss having the companionship and not necessarily her.
BlueEyedSarah Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 wot...like, on here, you mean...? Exactly
PinkRibbon Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 No text here either although I got some from my friends last night and everyone I had hoped it was him. But it was hard not to text him.
Author AriaIncognito Posted January 1, 2008 Author Posted January 1, 2008 Awesome guys! See how good it feels? I realize it's a small accomplishment, but think about it. You all set out to not contact them, and you didn't give in. You didn't give up on yourself. You didn't give up on knowing that you deserve more. It's a great way to start the year, seriously. We are all starting on the right foot. Sure, we still hurt, but it will get less and less the longer we keep to what we know is best for us.
Author AriaIncognito Posted January 1, 2008 Author Posted January 1, 2008 Ran out of credit, or too many ex's....? or both!? Happy new one! make it a great 2008! Haha my credit is fine ;-) I said any of them because I have 3 that I've had some contact with post break. There's only 1 that I still have feelings for, the most recent. it's been 6 months. Honestly, I dont even know that I can say I still have feelings for HIM, i think I just have feelings that I wish to share with somebody like him that will reciprocate them back to me.
Author AriaIncognito Posted January 1, 2008 Author Posted January 1, 2008 No text here either although I got some from my friends last night and everyone I had hoped it was him. But it was hard not to text him. You know what's weird? With every text I got, I never once thought it could be him, and never once hoped that it was. it's odd. I guess I truly am starting to move on. I do wonder about him, what he's doing, how it's going with the one he replaced me with, but essentially, I know no good comes of that knowledge.
randuff Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 I dont even know that I can say I still have feelings for HIM, i think I just have feelings that I wish to share with somebody like him that will reciprocate them back to me. I think that is EXACTLY how MOST of us truly feel. I know that is true in my case.
tinke Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 nope! it wouldn't be sincere...i really don't care if his New Year is happy! i cared when we were together.
Lyssa Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Well, my X called last night - "Happy New Year to you!! What did you get up to?"... I told him I spent the NYE with my family and watched the fireworks (yes, I LOVE fireworks!) and reminiscing the sweet memories of my late mother... he went on and on about his date with this girl, took her up to Genting, watched the fireworks then a movie... had dinner at an Italian restaurant.... Okay... good for you, buddy! I don't care who he is going out with anymore because it isn't my business. It's just funny that he called to tell me how his NYE went.
jerbear Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 (edited) I did! I called everyone I knew that had called me or was listed in my phone! Ex's included! Now I'll deal with it tomorrow, later, vday or whatever. Edited January 2, 2008 by jerbear :)
Geishawhelk Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Thanks Geisha! You are right. It's all my doing. I am the one that lets it bother me and and at times when I feel down I ask myself why? She was the one that wronged me and was a bad person not me. The most ridiculous thing is that if we got back together I wouldn't be able to trust her anyways. All in all I think I just miss having the companionship and not necessarily her. Oh bless, anduff! Thanks for responding....! In that case, just let yourself relax! Drop your shoulders, and smile. be nice to every one you meet. Sooner or later, (preferably the former!) some cute little thing will think "Hey! he sounds goooood!"
randuff Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 Oh bless, anduff! Thanks for responding....! In that case, just let yourself relax! Drop your shoulders, and smile. be nice to every one you meet. Sooner or later, (preferably the former!) some cute little thing will think "Hey! he sounds goooood!" I actually met someone.... IM'd for 2 hours and phoned for another hour tonight.... I am excited!
Jmina Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 I admit that i flirted with the idea, but didn't seriously think about it! got through my bday and xmas and other events without texting her and this one wasnt any different. I definetely thought about her though as i spent last nye with her. she didnt text me either! meh! =) looking forward to this year! am thinking of her less and less its great Jmina xoxo
pigeonsid Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 I didn't text the ex... I texted some guy I randomly hooked up with last week instead and we arranged to hook up again in a few weeks time... I know that I'm not ready to be in a relationship again yet, but it makes a difference to actually be thinking obsessively about someone else who I might have a future with, instead of my ex, who I definitely do not have a future with. Even if things with this new guy don't go anywhere, at least it's helping me to reconceive of a different sort of future. When my ex first walked out on me, I felt as though I didn't have any kind of future with him. Now... I do think that I deserve to be with someone better.
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