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what to make of a strange text....

D-Lish

By D-Lish
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

Posted
Posted

I have been broken up with someone for a while whom I liked. Things ended with a disappearing act- even though things had been going seemingly well between us.

 

It was Legend that prompted me to send this guy a text on x-mas (I hadn't texted in a long time). So I texted him "I miss you, merry x-mas- wish you were here"

 

I regretted it after because I did not get an immediate response and thought my cause was lost.

 

However- 2 nights late- he texted in me in the middle of the night simply saying "I just woke up from having a dream about you". That's it- that was his text. I don't know quite what to make of it.

 

I told him I hoped he wasn't still mad at me in his dream and that I still cared for him and hoped he knew I thought of him as more tha just a fling.

 

He responded with "I feel the same way, I am sad and regrettful".

Then he said "I miss you, I wish I was there with you".

me: I said me toooo... and we said our good nights.

 

That was the extent of our exchange.

I am not sure if he was just sleepy and having a weak moment- or if he still has feelings. He is across the country right now and won't be back until Jan 3rd. We haven't spoken since the text- and I felt he should initiate any futher correspondence- mostly because I am genuinley concerned that he could hurt me again if I open up.

 

What do you think a random text in the middle of the night saying I just woke up from having a dream about you means?

 

Was it just a moment of weakness- or am I still having an impact on him- meaning I am still on his mind.

 

Thoughts?

It's his b-day tomorrow- I was going to text and say happy birthday.

 

I just don't want to have my chain yanked again. We were having a good time togther and I know he was into me before he walked out on me.... it shocked me actually that he went from being starry eyed with me to going missing in action.

 

how seriously would you take this text...and is it a good idea for me to follow up with a happy b-day text on new years?

Thanks,

D

Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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Posted

Did he disappear on you?

johan Established Member

johan

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You've already made it clear that you're still interested. For any guy who is also interested, that would be a call to action. So if he doesn't make any serious moves in your direction all on his own, his heart isn't in it. More texts from you won't make any difference. The best you can do, in the absence of something more substantial from him is to assume the fire is out. In that case, more texts and messages from you would be counterproductive to your own state of mind.

Star Gazer Established Member

Star Gazer

Posted
Posted
You've already made it clear that you're still interested. For any guy who is also interested, that would be a call to action. So if he doesn't make any serious moves in your direction all on his own, his heart isn't in it. More texts from you won't make any difference. The best you can do, in the absence of something more substantial from him is to assume the fire is out. In that case, more texts and messages from you would be counterproductive to your own state of mind.

 

Great post, Johan.

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D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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Okay- so no texts on his b-day- and wait and see what happens.

I don't like to be toyed with.

And I guess the only way to know that is to wait and see what he does when he returns from his trip.

 

If you guys think it's a good idea to stay no contact and let him do the work- then I am with you on that one.

Thanks.

 

The whole I just woke up from a dream about you was just a strange things to say out of no where.

s_n_d Established Member

s_n_d

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I think you should do whatever you feel is best.

 

And I think hes definitely thinking of you if he texted you IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. :)

Green Established Member

Green

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well, well, If I were him I would take full advantage of this, and try to break ur bed

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D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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I think you should do whatever you feel is best.

 

And I think hes definitely thinking of you if he texted you IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. :)

 

Well, I had a feeling all along he didn't walk away and just forget his feelings. I think he thought my intentions weren't serious- and that bothered him because he was investing in me and I was keeping him at arms length.

 

We'll see what happens.

In my own mind- I think I hurt him- and feel that I owe him a bit of honesty and opening up... since he was open with me and I wasn't with him.

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

Posted
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D, is this the guy from a few weeks ago? Guy outside the apartment in the middle of the night?

 

If so, I still vote no on this guy. I think maybe the holiday blues are making you a little too vulnerable for him. And I dont think he's anymore right than I did two weeks ago. Heres why:

 

You sent him a text. Two days go by, and no response.

 

Then, middle of the night, he texts you telling he has had a dream about you, and wishes he was with you.

 

I dunno - it just smacks of booty call to me. I don't like it. :( And now it's been three days since that midnight exchange, and no further word from him.

 

I agree with Johan - I think you couldn't have made your feelings anymore known. I wouldn't contact him again. I mean, why? Your intentions couldn't be more clear, and I don't think you should be chasing him.

s_n_d Established Member

s_n_d

Posted
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Absolutely.

I definitely see potential for the both of you.

Good luck!!!:D

Problem with my ex: He tries to act all macho and stuff. He doesnt like admitting it when he makes a mistake.

CalamitousJane Established Member

CalamitousJane

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If he's thinking of you, the best way to stay in his thoughts is to keep him a little curious about yours.

 

He's a boy, right? Let him hunt you.

 

I'm writing this to remind myself of it...

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D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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D, is this the guy from a few weeks ago? Guy outside the apartment in the middle of the night?

 

If so, I still vote no on this guy. I think maybe the holiday blues are making you a little too vulnerable for him. And I dont think he's anymore right than I did two weeks ago. Heres why:

 

You sent him a text. Two days go by, and no response.

 

Then, middle of the night, he texts you telling he has had a dream about you, and wishes he was with you.

 

I dunno - it just smacks of booty call to me. I don't like it. :( And now it's been three days since that midnight exchange, and no further word from him.

 

I agree with Johan - I think you couldn't have made your feelings anymore known. I wouldn't contact him again. I mean, why? Your intentions couldn't be more clear, and I don't think you should be chasing him.

 

No- different guy.

lol. There have been a few lately.

I dated this guy before outside apartment guy... and I liked him- I took up with the stalker right after to help get over it.

Stalker texts still too.

 

He is away until mid jan- and I expect he'll be door knocing when he gets back.

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

Posted
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No- different guy.

lol. There have been a few lately.

I dated this guy before outside apartment guy... and I liked him- I took up with the stalker right after to help get over it.

Stalker texts still too.

 

He is away until mid jan- and I expect he'll be door knocing when he gets back.

 

 

LOL. OK, girl. Trying to keep it straight.

 

Then I partially change my opinion in that I am not hating on his like stalker guy. He may be OK then. BUT, I still wouldn't contact him again. I think you put it all out there, and he needs to take the bait at this point.

 

Door knocking, or curb hugging? ;)

Green Established Member

Green

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Posted
LOL. OK, girl. Trying to keep it straight.

 

Then I partially change my opinion in that I am not hating on his like stalker guy. He may be OK then. BUT, I still wouldn't contact him again. I think you put it all out there, and he needs to take the bait at this point.

 

Door knocking, or curb hugging? ;)

 

but she hurt him in the past if he was on here asking for advice we'd tell him to just forget it.

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D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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KMT- you make me laugh.

 

Jillie- The youngin who came to my apartment isn't a bad guy- and I'm not afraid of him. He was just a little too "in love" too fast. And I did do some toying with him and some hot and cold stuff. I know he isn't right for me, and I still care for him. Believe me- I was just as much an ass....

But that's irrelevant... it will never work. He chased me non stop for 6 weeks- and I did take advantage of his affection at times.... and I still plan on having a chat with him and setting things straight when he comes home in a couple weeks. I just won't date him again.

 

This other guy has been an on again off again guy for quite some time now. He comes into town and we date- then he leaves for a contract and we split... it's complicated. I do like him though... and if nothing else- he is more of a match for me than my 22 year old. This other guy is 32.

 

He has kinda always been in the back of my mind.

 

We'll see.

How's firebreath? lol.

Jilly Bean Established Member

Jilly Bean

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No, I know he's not dangerous, per se... Just a wee intense. Ah, youth... ;)

 

Well, this other guy does sound complex. Particularly if there is a lot of history. Think it can ever get on track long enough to get some traction? Or is it his leaving for work that always throw a wrench in? Can you not continue on while he is away? I know how it is when there is that one you always go back to and can't understand why it can't be RIGHT all the time.

 

The doc is OK, thanks. lol. Heard from him today, and he wants to see me this week. I am PRAYING it was a one-shot thing. And if not, he's got way too much going on to toss him over for it (tall, attractive, athletic, well-traveled, earns an obscene amount of money, polite, well-mannered, communicative, no kids, no crazy ex's, funny, also a cancer, etc.) It would need to be something I bring up for sure, if it persists. All workable because he really meets so much of my criteria and I also happen to enjoy his company and like getting to know him... :)

 

My fluffer is away in Vail skiiing, so no sexy time for the Bean on the NY's. :(

 

But, the Baller's season ended today, so he will be home sooner than later. There's always that on the horizon. Thanks for asking, and sorry for the brief hijack... :)

 

 

 

 

KMT - how we do know he ISN'T posting here? (Outer Limits theme song playing in the background...) :eek:

Ariadne Established Member

Ariadne

Posted
Posted
Okay- so no texts on his b-day- and wait and see what happens.

I don't like to be toyed with.

 

Ok,

 

So you have a conversation like this with some guy two days ago:

 

-I miss you, merry x-mas- wish you were here

-I miss you, I wish I was there with you.

-I said me toooo... and we said our good nights.

 

And then it's the guy's bd on New Year's day and you are not even going to tell him Happy Birthday or anything?

 

It's amazing to me, people don't even know what they want.

 

Ariadne

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