tkgirl Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 (edited) okay... I'll TRY to make this short. I was seeing this guy I really liked for a short while... and well, it just ended recently... and suddenly! Still trying to figure out what happened but trying to accept as "one of those things" that we weren't meant to be etc. But to be honest, I did feel hurt when it happened because it was his decision to end things... saying he just didn't feel that "deep" connection with me (posted about this here about 2 weeks ago) I basically am tired of trying to figure it out.. got so many mixed messages from him... seemed like he liked me, then he'd back off... saying he didn't know what he wanted etc. etc. SO! that's why it's just easier to write it off as one of those things and not take it personally etc. So here's my question... last time we talked (when we ended it) the "we can be friends still" thing came up. It was when I was thought we were done talking about everything and I said "I guess this is good-bye then" and he said "well, maybe we can still be friends... go snowboarding like we talked about?" I just told him no, that it would be too painful etc. and he said okay. Well, after thinking about it a bit and the intial hurt had past, I decided that even though I can't have him as my boyfriend (and I'm not sure I even want to!) that I would still like to have him in my life and if friends is all we are meant to be, then I would happy with that. So! a week later (last monday) I made the hasty decision to send him a quick text message... we were both traveling to go home for the holidays etc. and I sent it from the airport. I wrote "I know now that we just weren't meant to be.. but I still miss you and wish we could be friends" then went on to wish him a Merry Christmas. I honestly didn't expect to hear back from him... hoped I would but... anyways, a couple hours later I got a text back from him and he just wrote "ok? merry christmas to you too" I'm confused by what he meant by "ok" followed by a question mark... like ok, maybe we can be friends, or are you ok? or.. ? kind of makes me laugh because this is pretty much how he is... very hard to figure out. oh no... this is getting long... just stay with me a little but more! I guess what I want is some of your thoughts on what "ok?" might mean... and did he really mean it when he asked if we could be friends... or if it he was just being "polite"? he did say it when I was about to hang up so maybe he wasn't really ready to say "good-bye" good-bye, know what I mean? And the thing is we really did have a good time together... had the same interests etc. Oh, and if this makes a diference, we never had sex but one night we had the craziest and the best "non-sex" I've ever had.. we definitely had the chemistry... which also makes me wonder if we can just keep things as "just friends" Anyways, he gets back tuesday and now I wonder if I will even hear from him at all... and I don't plan on contacting him, so... I'm not asking anyone here to predict my future... maybe I should try the psychic hotline? LOL But if anyone here can shine some light on this or has been in the same situation... tried the post dating/relationship friend thing. I'd love to hear your thoughts and/or experiences... THANKS!!! Edited December 31, 2007 by tkgirl
Jilly Bean Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 Aww.... I'm sorry, hon. And I'll save you the $30 for calling Mistress Cleo... Before I read his text response, I was thinking people say they want to be friends to be nice and they don't mean it. But then I thought, well, the chance exists he DID mean it. Until I read his response. I think if he intended to be friends, he would have responded as such. But, considering how flaky he was with you, and didn't show you the proper respect in ending it nicely, I think you are far better off without him in your life. I don't think he'd make a better friend than he did BF...
Author tkgirl Posted December 31, 2007 Author Posted December 31, 2007 really? because another theory about the reason he wrote "ok?" had to do with the fact that I originally said I didn't want to stay friends when he asked me the first time... and then I sent him that text a week later saying I wish we could be friends... maybe he's just as confused as he made me! I guess only time (and not Miss Cleo) will tell whether or not we will be friends. I have to admit the whole "relationship" we had was very diferrent from the start...like I said, a lot of mixed signals from him etc. You are right, I am probably better of without him in my life... it's just hard to shut my feelings off for him as a person.. I did care about him a lot. anyways, thanks for your response!
Legend Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 Aww.... I'm sorry, hon. And I'll save you the $30 for calling Mistress Cleo... Before I read his text response, I was thinking people say they want to be friends to be nice and they don't mean it. But then I thought, well, the chance exists he DID mean it. Until I read his response. I think if he intended to be friends, he would have responded as such. But, considering how flaky he was with you, and didn't show you the proper respect in ending it nicely, I think you are far better off without him in your life. I don't think he'd make a better friend than he did BF... I concur with Jilly on this one. He was trying to let u down easy at the time of breaking it off by suggesting friendship... We all know that after being intiment friendship just won't do... Sorry.
Author tkgirl Posted January 1, 2008 Author Posted January 1, 2008 (edited) no need to be sorry... I know I am better off without him anyways. And I do agree that we probably would not have been able to have a real friendship, whether he meant it or not... I have to remember that when I wrote those things to him, it was from a place of acceptance... and I wanted to just let him know that I was okay with it being over, but still had feelings for him. I guess when I got the text back it started to make me think about the possibilty of having him in my life still... when I was trying to accept that it was over. The thing is he was so "wishy-washy" from the very beginning... one day really into me, the next he'd be "too busy" etc. That's why it was hard to accept at first when he said it was over. Oh, and just for the record... he was actually very sweet when he told me that we couldn't continue our relationship... saying how he thought I was nice, smart, pretty etc. and had a lot to offer "someone". It's like he did me a favor by letting me go, so I could find someone who really would love me for who I am. And there's the fact the he wouldn't have sex with me until we "got to know each other more" He really is a good guy with a lot of integrity... but just very flaky! SO! my New Year's resolution is to stop obsessing over failed relationships and start looking for something GOOD... A guy that loves me for me and that will have time for me! Edited January 1, 2008 by tkgirl
Recommended Posts