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One question left unanswered?


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Posted

After my GF dumped me, she said some really hurtful and ugly things to me and also made some insulting accusations about me. She didn't get what she wanted from ME, but I think she got what she wanted in the end.

 

So why the extra drama? Why add insult to injury if I didn't matter anymore?

She even told me in an email that she has done this with others in the past, but didn't say why.

 

Has anyone else here had a similar experience? It's just a lingering question that has slowed my healing process and I think if I could get even a little insight into this behavior I can make another step.

Posted

She was trying to put focus on you and not her being the bad person? Some people get defensive when you confront them and they'll pull anything out of the woodworks to blame the other person, instead being open with what they have done.

Posted

My X did this to me as well.

 

He cheated and I was the bad guy. I still don't know why but lots of people say guilt or rewriting the history of the relationship o justify what they have done. Regardless it's wrong, but it appears lots of people do it.

 

It's cruel and just proves we are lucky to be rid of them (although it may not seem like that now.)

Posted

yes, when mine left without explanation and onto another....

i was the evil one. when asked, do you take any reponsibility in this..the reply was, like what?

 

he has ALWAYS rationalized his behaviors, and astoundingly, he never saw his faults.

 

i suspect yours did the same. it makes it easier to deal with the hurt caused, guilt, perhaps. or simply just the desire to leave to "greener grass" if they can convince you along with themselves that they did their best and it was your fault....and they will prove it to you.

 

highly immature to say the least!

Posted

Because if you are the bad guy, she can cope with any guilt, residual feelings etc. I remember your thread, she was just terrible. There is no excuse for the way she handled things at all.

Posted
yes, when mine left without explanation and onto another....

i was the evil one. when asked, do you take any reponsibility in this..the reply was, like what?

 

he has ALWAYS rationalized his behaviors, and astoundingly, he never saw his faults.

 

i suspect yours did the same. it makes it easier to deal with the hurt caused, guilt, perhaps. or simply just the desire to leave to "greener grass" if they can convince you along with themselves that they did their best and it was your fault....and they will prove it to you.

 

highly immature to say the least!

 

 

That sounds exactly like my ex.

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Posted

Thanks guys. Your replys have given me some clarity. Last night someone told me about a book I should read. It's called NASTY PEOPLE by Jay Carter. I skimmed through a little of it and it was an eye opener. I guess it's true, what you seek the universe will provide. Thanks again everyone. And Happy New Year!!:D

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