thekid55 Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 A condensed version of my story. Just looking for responses. I was in a relationship of 2 years during high school. I'm 2 years older than my girlfriend. I left to go to a college about 2 hours away from home in September. My ex girlfriend was kind of hesitant about the distance, but she told me that she would try her best to make it work since she loved me. The relationship lasted until mid-October when she broke it off. I do think her friends influenced her to point that she should just party and hook up with whoever. I guess a lot of couples break up and can't handle the high school/college extreme. Since then, she has been messing around with a few different guys. We did talk occasionally. She asked me when I was coming home for break awhile back. Called me to say happy birthday on my birthday. She has been playing games by saying that she wants to see me and was coming to visit me at school and stuff like that. We haven't hung out since the break up. She does have a new love interest. She has met this guy that she works with about a month ago. They are the same age, same grade, but they go to different high schools. They are definitely opposites in every phase. She's more "preppy"..He's more "emo". He's really into drugs, she's not. Found out that she had sex with him about 2 weeks ago. She called me that same night crying on the phone. . But wouldn't tell me what was bothering her. I was the only other guy that she has been with and her doing that seems definitely out of character. She acted like nothing was wrong when I asked her the day after. Since then, she has been hooking up with him and apparently they are officially a couple as of 2 days ago. I do notice that she leaves him comments on myspace that used to resemble one she would leave me. I know that she constantly texts him. She seems to falling in love with him, even though that isn't possible after a month of knowing someone. It took a lot of hard work and love to develop what we had. She seems to be rushing into it now. Do you think that this will last? My thing is: I have been out with a few different girls, but I can't help but compare them to her. She had everything that I wanted in a girl. It bothers me that she has gotten over me so quickly. She would always say that "she didn't want anyone but me, I had everything she wanted. Forever and everything that goes along with it" She has written online that she thinks she wasted two years of high school with me since I tried to shelter her from partying. Going to parties and stuff was never an issue. We never talked about it. I'm just not a partier. Thats all. I guess it bothers me that she has a new boyfriend. Maybe that doesn't really bother me, but the fact that she had sex with him already does. Her best friend has been feeding me most of this info. Her best friend and I are pretty good friends as well. Her and I haven't had a conversation in about 10 days. Pretty much, I've stopped initiating contact with her for the last month. If she have talked, she has contacted me. Within that last month, she has contacted me less and less as her involvement with this guy has increased. I've blocked her online. Do you think we could restore the relationship one day or do you think this is a lost cause. We both seem to have a lot to experience alone...
s_n_d Posted December 31, 2007 Posted December 31, 2007 Restoration of ANY relationship can happen, if both parties are willing to be friends and be civil towards eachother. Ive had a lot of experience with this over the last couple of months especially. My ex insisted that we stay friends after he broke up with me..I agreed because hes a big part of my life. Up until three weeks ago, We werent civil to eachother AT ALL. We always started an argument anytime we talked because of the messy breakup. But after a bit of NC we both decided to start talking again..And not mention the messy breakup again. Since, Its all been good. I just hope this continues.
Lee725 Posted January 1, 2008 Posted January 1, 2008 She seems to falling in love with him, even though that isn't possible after a month of knowing someone. As mush as you might not like to hear this Personally i think that it is possible, if the chemistry is there, it can happen very quickly, just went thru it AGAIN and was smitten after 3 weeks. In my case tho it was "Puppy love", not "True Love", there is a difference. Maybe she is experiencing the same thing. It took a lot of hard work and love to develop what we had. She seems to be rushing into it now. Do you think that this will last? No one can give you a definate answer as to whether it will last, however the differences most likely will cause divides. She might gt sick of the fact he takes drugs & he perhaps does not suit her personality. It can take a while for these things to become irritating tho. Initially people overlook this stuff because they are all excited about a new relationship, eventually they take the rose coloured glasses off. My thing is: I have been out with a few different girls, but I can't help but compare them to her. She had everything that I wanted in a girl Believe or not you will probably do this the rest of your life. Some will disagree and say if you do it you are never "over it", but in one way or another we generally compare our new partners to the EX's even if we dont say it out loud. This is how we learn good from bad, happy from sad, & a forfilling relationship to an empty one. We compare. She might have had everything that you were looking for in a girl, however (here goes the old cliche..) there will be others that have all her qualities and perhaps other qualities which you dont know exist yet, which will suit you much better and make you feel happier than you ever have before. It bothers me that she has gotten over me so quickly. Some people are born with a terrific survival instinct which i wish i had but dont. They can be completely cut inside, they can think about another person 24/7, they can be hurting, but would you be able to tell .. NO WAY. I am not saying this is the case here, there is a possibility that she is "over it", however, it is more likely that she does miss you and think about you yet does a terrific job of covering it up. I guess it bothers me that she has a new boyfriend. Maybe that doesn't really bother me, but the fact that she had sex with him already does. Her best friend has been feeding me most of this info. Her best friend and I are pretty good friends as well. I've blocked her online. Do you think we could restore the relationship one day or do you think this is a lost cause. We both seem to have a lot to experience alone... it is really normal for you to feel bothered that she has had sex with someone else. We consider our partners to be exclusive to us, and some how even when we break up with them the idea of someone touching "our" partner is horrible. There is a saying that i use alot ... "believe none of what you hear & half of what you see and you will get somewhere near the truth". Even tho her best friend is your friend, i would be very careful believeing what is said, words can be manipulated easily. At the end of the day her best friend will be there the most for her, and even tho you have craved information sometimes it can be better just not to know. In the future, you might get back together and find a way to restore it, but in the mean time please begin to believe that you will meet someone else who will forfill you the way she did. Let the future be what it will be, but make tomorrow what you want it to be.
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