We were already on a break, but I feel like I got dumped again.

[CarsAreForNoobs]

Well this is a long complicated story so I'll do my best to try and tidy it up a little.

 

We got together early 2004, Almost 4 years ago. It feels like forever. Had your typical up and down relationship but still remained deeply in love and planned to get married after college and all that.

 

The beginning of this year we hit too many snags. Her house burned down which through off her quite a bit. Her family had another house farther away though so I was upset often times having to drive because of gas. She got a new job and starting spending tons of time with her new friends from it. And I started fighting her all the time. I felt that I was more important and that she didn't give me enough time, that I was competing with her friends for her time.

 

The fights continued until mid july when she decided that we needed a break. I was crushed but realized she needed space and backed off. She still called me every night but told me that it helped her sleep. We saw eachother occasionally during the week but her weekends belonged to her friends, one of which was a guy that drove me nuts because he was obsessed with her.

 

Anyway I understood that the break was needed to clear up our issues with fighting. I needed it. I took what I could get and stayed busy. Gradually we became closer again, an "I love you" would slip through, we would kiss and occasionally were intimate. Over the past few weeks things got even better. She even hung around with me for an entire weekend as gift. She would ocassionally bring up stuff we used to talk about, even asked if I was still going to marry her. She still mentioned that she wasn't ready for a relationship with me yet.

 

Over the holidays we started fighting again. I was upset that she was only spending half of christmas with me and my family and the other half with her friends. And I was also growing impatient because we seemed so close and I couldn't understand why we hadn't gotten back together yet.

 

Well today we argued again. I haven't talked to her much over the last couple of days and I missed her so I was in a down kind of mood. I argued about us still not being together and how much I missed her and everything fell apart. She said she still loves me but isn't completely in love with me. Part of her still is but she hates the fighting, she told me I was too dependant on her and that she couldn't stand when we argued like this and for that reason she couldn't be happy with me.

 

Anyway I'm back where I was in the summer and all it took was a week of argueing. I feel awful. I know I need to just let it go and give her the space she wants but I just feel like crap. I miss her and things were going so well and now it looks like it could be a long time before things are going well again.