thekid55 Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Some are familiar with my situation. Some aren't. I'm a freshman in college. Ex-girlfriend is a junior in HS. We dated for my most of my junior year and entire senior year of high school. We were in love for 2 years. She would do pretty much anything for me. Everyone thought that we were a perfect match. We suited each other well. Our relationship lasted until mid-October. I was at college for about a month and a half. Then she ended it because the distance was just too much for her. We did visit each other a few weekends however. I was devastated. Her and I gave each other some space for awhile. We occasionally talked and what not. My birthday was in the beginning of December. She was called at midnight to be the first to say happy birthday. She was texting me all day. Things seemed like they were about to turn around.... Then she met this new guy at work right around my birthday. Him and I complete opposites. My ex is the typical Abercrombie/Hollister/Fashion fad, who does sports, gets good grades, etc etc. I'm pretty much the compliment to that. This new guy, is "emo", apparently is a big pot head, not into sports, a definite opposite of her. I think they met on myspace, but they work at the same place, different high schools. They tend to hang out once a week and I've been told that they have already had sex. Completely floored. But after that happened, she called me and told me about a problem she was having with her parents. I think that this was just a cover up story since she felt bad for having sex. She doesn't know that I know she had sex already. She IMed me about 3 weeks ago asking me if I had sex with anyone else since we broke up. At the time, neither of us had sex with another. Her and this guy are not together though, but they do have pictures together online. Her away message sometimes says "I love you *****", but not often. The security blanket part: She calls me whenever she has a problem. She called me 4 times on Thursday night. A few times from her friend's phone and a few times from her own. I didn't bother to answer. I've helped her with her problems, but this was the first time that I didn't. I've been home for winter break for 2 weeks now and we haven't hung out. She has brought it up to me, but she hasn't come through with the plans. Probably because of all the attraction for this new loser. My question: Do you think that we could reconcile at any point? It seems like she feels like this guy isn't a sure thing. I'm the known quantity and she wants to cling on to me. I'm starting to remove myself from her. We haven't had a conversation in about a week, even though she has contacted me a few times. I just haven't responded because I don't want to get hurt...I do want to get the old her back, but she seems to be going through the whole, "I just want to party and have fun stage"...Is reconciliation possible at any point? How can I get myself there? What do you think?
s_n_d Posted December 30, 2007 Posted December 30, 2007 From previous relationships, I know that distance was never an issue for me. In my last relationship, my ex and I saw eachother a couple of times a week and it worked for us; It wasnt an issue due to our busy lives. I know alot of people who have relationships with people where they only see eachother once a month or once every few months and I even know people who are with people who have moved to different countries altogether. And if they could make it work, anyone can. I think that your ex needs to learn that shes not always going to get to see her bf every single day. Every couple has to be apart at some point. If your ex is willing to change and not let the distance affect her SO much, then perhaps the relationship will work. And ofcourse you need to set days every month etc.... aside to see eachother. I think its all on her at this point. I think shes attached to you still because you saw eachother everyday when you were together. Hope i helped in some way.
s_n_d Posted December 30, 2007 Posted December 30, 2007 And noone wants to be a "security blanket" to anyone. You dont deserve that. Noone does
Aiorios Posted January 2, 2008 Posted January 2, 2008 honestly, things look very grimm my friend. Sure you can take her back, but in the end toughts of infidelity from her side are gonna hurt you. This does terrible things to ones self esteem. Hear what SND said, "noone wants to be a "security blanket" to anyone. You dont deserve that. Noone does"
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