I need some serious convincing

[OverNow]

Long story short, ex-gf and I have been together for two years. Due to stresses relating to her studies, she started feeling distant towards me. One night, I asked her if she had thought about breaking up cause she had been acting a little distant(stupid i know), and she said that she hadn't really thought about it, but now that i had brought it up, she said that part of her did.

 

After a little more discussing, she felt more strongly about it(again, stupid i know), so we ended up ending it.

 

Fast forward a month and a half, we talk almost every night, and if we don't she ends up missing me. At the beginning of every convo every night, she sounds very open to talking to me, but once we do for a little while, its like shes satisfied that I'm still here for her, whether I bring up the relationship or not, and she decides to go.

 

I want to go NC, but that seems like a complete waste, seeing as though her studies will end in 6 months, and had she not had her studies to be worried about, we would still be going out.

 

I realize that, the more I talk to her, the more she'll feel that I'm still here for her, and that I'll never leave, and some day, I'll push her away for good. At the same time though, I'm really being held back by the thought that if I was to start NC now, I'll be pretty much getting over her by the time her studies are over, which is a darn waste. Seems like a lot of hurt for no reason...

 

I know full well that if i didnt ask her if she wanted to break up at the start, we'd probably be happy right now. Right now, there is no chance of reconciliation in the next ...6 months. Its eating me alive...

 

I know all of you will be screaming at me NC. My brain is screaming at me too, but there are just far too many excuses I give myself to talk to her(as above)

 

I just really need someone's thoughts on this. Is she being immature? Would I be right in saying that I haven't really given her a chance to reconsider since she still feels like I'm always here despite the fact that she tells me she feels like shes getting over me?

 

I probably also need everyone here to slap it into me that I absolutely MUST do NC. Please reply and try to answer my questions...and slap me.>_<

[brothermartin]

Long story short, ex-gf and I have been together for two years. Due to stresses relating to her studies, she started feeling distant towards me. One night, I asked her if she had thought about breaking up cause she had been acting a little distant(stupid i know), and she said that she hadn't really thought about it, but now that i had brought it up, she said that part of her did.

 

After a little more discussing, she felt more strongly about it(again, stupid i know), so we ended up ending it.

 

Fast forward a month and a half, we talk almost every night, and if we don't she ends up missing me. At the beginning of every convo every night, she sounds very open to talking to me, but once we do for a little while, its like shes satisfied that I'm still here for her, whether I bring up the relationship or not, and she decides to go.

 

I want to go NC, but that seems like a complete waste, seeing as though her studies will end in 6 months, and had she not had her studies to be worried about, we would still be going out.

 

I realize that, the more I talk to her, the more she'll feel that I'm still here for her, and that I'll never leave, and some day, I'll push her away for good. At the same time though, I'm really being held back by the thought that if I was to start NC now, I'll be pretty much getting over her by the time her studies are over, which is a darn waste. Seems like a lot of hurt for no reason...

 

I know full well that if i didnt ask her if she wanted to break up at the start, we'd probably be happy right now. Right now, there is no chance of reconciliation in the next ...6 months. Its eating me alive...

 

I know all of you will be screaming at me NC. My brain is screaming at me too, but there are just far too many excuses I give myself to talk to her(as above)

 

I just really need someone's thoughts on this. Is she being immature? Would I be right in saying that I haven't really given her a chance to reconsider since she still feels like I'm always here despite the fact that she tells me she feels like shes getting over me?

 

I probably also need everyone here to slap it into me that I absolutely MUST do NC. Please reply and try to answer my questions...and slap me.>_<

I don't know. I don't think everyone on LS is as capable of sustaining the NC as it's preached. I know I didn't and still having trouble with it. I think you should do NC if you really want to leave her alone, otherwise you won't stick to it and you'll just be sitting around trying to think up reasons to contact her. I say put the ball in her court. If she wants to do NC that might make it easier for you to stick with NC.

[OverNow]

She says she doesn't want to do NC, but also feels as though its necessary for us to get over each other. The more we talk though, the more I feel as though she's trying really hard to friend zone me, which makes it hurt even more.

[OverNow]

Ok, its morning now. Why does it always hurt unbearably at the crack of dawn? I feel like she's moving on so quickly and meeting lots of guys, whilst I'm here by my lonely self...

 

Is anyone there?>_<

[BrianG]

I have been broken up with my ex-gf of 5 years for 2 months now. As soon as my eyes open in the morning my thoughts are about her everyday for 2 months straight now. Getting very frustrated with it becauses its mentally draining me, but I dont have a choice. I love her so much and want her back but she does not want to be with me so I can only hope the day will come that I dont wake up and think of her. How I pray for that day!!! It's really tough but we dont have a choice but to continue to move on and hope that one day it will come. Stay strong, I am right here with you.

[fabulousgal]

boy i want to slap you all across this forum right now. stop talking to her. you are dead on she is friend zoning you, and making sure you are still there. people don't break up because of their studies. in your life you will have 90 jabillion tests of your relationship, and if it falters over studies that is not a good sign.

 

she will not come back to you in any amount of time if you continue to be there for her without having your needs met as well. place value on your needs and yourself. if she can't meet your offer, bid her farewell for this time in your life and find someone who does.

 

nc ain't easy. it sucks. but if you think about it relatively, you really go through less pain because you have seperated your self from the ambivelant, unavailable source that is causing it.

 

we've got your back. now do it!

[Trialbyfire]

boy i want to slap you all across this forum right now. stop talking to her. you are dead on she is friend zoning you, and making sure you are still there. people don't break up because of their studies. in your life you will have 90 jabillion tests of your relationship, and if it falters over studies that is not a good sign.

 

she will not come back to you in any amount of time if you continue to be there for her without having your needs met as well. place value on your needs and yourself. if she can't meet your offer, bid her farewell for this time in your life and find someone who does.

 

nc ain't easy. it sucks. but if you think about it relatively, you really go through less pain because you have seperated your self from the ambivelant, unavailable source that is causing it.

 

we've got your back. now do it!

Slap #2 here!

 

Move on. You're being used. She knows where to find you, if she ever changes her mind. It's almost impossible to be friends with someone you still have romantic feelings about. Pack your emotional bags and walk away.

 

After you've truly moved on, if you want to be her friend, that's okay too. But until then, you're allowing your emotions to over rule your common sense. Don't be a doormat.