stepheine Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 A lot of you have heard my situation and Now I need to know what you guys truly think!! It has been a month since my ex boyfriend and I have been broke up. Origionally he asked me for space b/c he lost his job and said he had a lot to take care of. During this last month he has ignored most of my calls and sent me a really mean email saying we were not getting back together because I wouldn't give him the space he asked for. I was very upset about his effort to have no communication with me and I did not understand it. He really hurt me. Well, tonight I went to his house to get some answers. I know it was not a good idea but I just felt like I needed some answers and closure and I felt that I at least deserved this much from him. Well, when He answered the door I was completely surprised because rather than getting an angry ex boyfriend who didn't want to see me I got a long hug that seemed to go on forever. He did not attempt to sleep with me or anything. He did apologize to me and told me he missed me and that he was depressed. We caught up with each other and I told him I was glad he was doing and feeling better. He seemed genuine. The problem is I do care for him a lot and I miss him but is it safe for me to enter a relationship agian with him and does he really care. He was so mean to me before this happened and I don't want to get hurt again. Will he think he can just do this same thing again? We are suppose to talk tomorrow. I feel that he should have let me support him through this instead of putting me to the side. Is this a game or is he genuine? He did say I should have listened to him and give him space and then we would have never broke up but that I have a head of cement. I want to be with him but some people say I should tell him lets be friends first. Thank You Guys
child_of_isis Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 He gave you a hug, talked to you etc...how does this translate into "enter into a relationship again"? The guy evidently needs space/time, and no offense, but it sounds like he is not going to get it from you.
Author stepheine Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 child of isis, Well, we did talk a little last night and it was a little more in depth. He told me he wanted to be with me and that he was still working some things out but that he did not need to be away from me anymore. I am thinking that this means he wants to be back together. Is this wrong?
Author stepheine Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 child of isis, we also did kiss which I wouldn't do with just a friend and I don't think he is the type of guy to lead me on but he did not try to sleep with me he only just kissed me and wanted to hold me. I just assumed based on these actions and his words that he did want to be with me. He said he would get together with me today that he would make time for us. I just thought all this meant he wanted to be with me. He seemed like he did not want me to leave but I thought it best that we just talk today.
sedgwick Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 (edited) No offense, but it sounds like you're really pushing him. Why couldn't you understand his desire to go NC? It makes perfect sense -- he's trying to get his own head sorted out! I'm glad he was kind to you, but really, if he wants space you need to give it to him. That was the reason he gave you for why he broke up in the first place! Did he say, explicitly, that he wants to get back together with you, or just that he missed you? Those are two very different things. If he wants to get back together with you, he'll tell you, in those words. What he DID say is that he wouldn't have broken up with you if you had given him the space he needed. In either case, good luck to you both, I hope it works out. Just remember to give him what he asks for, and not just what you want, okay? Edited December 29, 2007 by sedgwick
brothermartin Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 What exactly were these things that required all his attention away from you? Did he talk about those?
child_of_isis Posted December 30, 2007 Posted December 30, 2007 Your thinking is what got you in trouble in the first place ;-) Maybe he doesn't need to be away from you, but he still needs time and space. Give him plenty for a while until he gets it together. Keep your distance or you will end up at square one with him wanting NC. Be careful how you proceed. Proceed slowly, slowly slowly.child of isis, Well, we did talk a little last night and it was a little more in depth. He told me he wanted to be with me and that he was still working some things out but that he did not need to be away from me anymore. I am thinking that this means he wants to be back together. Is this wrong?
child_of_isis Posted December 30, 2007 Posted December 30, 2007 You are assuming... Making time for you does not translate into I want you up my butt every minute. Right now he is wanting you somewhat. If you want to go that extra mile with him, you are going to have to become less emotionally dependent on him. I am pretty sure that this is what is turning him off. The dependence. The neediness. The pushing. All of this may be suffocating him. child of isis, we also did kiss which I wouldn't do with just a friend and I don't think he is the type of guy to lead me on but he did not try to sleep with me he only just kissed me and wanted to hold me. I just assumed based on these actions and his words that he did want to be with me. He said he would get together with me today that he would make time for us. I just thought all this meant he wanted to be with me. He seemed like he did not want me to leave but I thought it best that we just talk today.
Recommended Posts