gdog Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Well folks, sorry for my short fuse yesterday. And thanks for the wonderful input. Yes I have forgiven the young lady, and yes she knows it from me and why I can forgive her. I do my best to help her feel better about herself as she is punishing herself way too much, in my opinion. I definitely do not want this thing to become a yoke around our necks. She is full of remorse and promised "Never again!!" so we are together in moving forward. Also, nobody (friends and family) knows about this. We do not have to worry about that. Cheers and again....thanks
bish Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 (edited) Well folks, sorry for my short fuse yesterday. And thanks for the wonderful input. Yes I have forgiven the young lady, and yes she knows it from me and why I can forgive her. I do my best to help her feel better about herself as she is punishing herself way too much, in my opinion. I definitely do not want this thing to become a yoke around our necks. She is full of remorse and promised "Never again!!" so we are together in moving forward. Also, nobody (friends and family) knows about this. We do not have to worry about that. Cheers and again....thanks Well bear with me, cuz this isn't going to sound good and I know it isn't what you really want to hear. Of course you have forgiven her...she made you feel guilty for being betrayed. For god's sake, it was only a few weeks since you found out and she expected you to just drop it and forget about it. That says alot about her. She cheated and expects you to get over it. She wants no consequences to her actions. And of course she says "never again"...what is she going to say? "sorry hun, I can't promise I won't spread my legs for another man again." But in expecting you to just drop it...she sort of is saying that. A betrayed spouse goes through alot of emotions and the cheater doesn't realize, either that or doesn't care, the scarring that occurs. Sorry, but it takes more than a few weeks to get over betrayal...and really nobody ever really gets over it. Oh sure, they can come to a point in their lives where they simply don't let it pop into their head....but it WILL pop into their head from time to time for the rest of their lives...that is if they stay with the cheater. I'm not saying you have to divorce her...that is your decision. I can tell you if it were me, she'd be gone. Not simply because she cheated...but because she acts like it is no big deal and she is basically spitting on your feelings by expecting you to get over it within just a few weeks. If you think you are on the right path...good luck to you. But I have a feeling at some time down the road you are going to be kicking yourself. Edited December 29, 2007 by bish
Author gdog Posted December 29, 2007 Author Posted December 29, 2007 I guess only time will tell if things will go our way. I did not run her off when I found out about her A. For me it is all or nothing. Meaning that if I'm not going to run her off, then I will work hard together with her to make things right. If that includes not bringing the subject up every time we communicate then that is ok by me. So far I find it easier to deal with when there are no discussions about the A. My previous wife taught me a lot about forgivness. I was not perfect in that marriage but she forgave me and we had a fairly good life together. My present wife and I have been married for 8 years, known each other for much longer and she has been perfect for me up till the time she met this new group of "friends" at her fitness center. Bad influence and bad luck followed her after that. Those people are no longer in her life. As I work overseas, not home every night, guess things like this can and do happen but we will get past it and move forward together with our son. If something ever happens again, it will be over for sure but for this round, we will continue together.
Recommended Posts