sneak817 Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Guys I need your input. My question is do rebound relationships really work? If not why? My ex jumped right into another relationship right after me, and she seems so happy. Is this real? This seems so unfair.. Has anyone else gone through this?
Citizen Erased Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Well I left my ex and hooked up with my current boyfriend a few days later. We have been together for 3 years now. Not always the case, but it can happen
oppath Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 Some people do rebound. A better word is TRANSITIONAL RELATIONSHIP. But most relationships don't work out, and it is really easy to say "it was just a rebound" if it happened just after a LTR. It sucks when the person you love moves on right away. In some ways, it is not fair, mostly because it means they moved on for a while within the relationship before ending it and have had a head start on healing when you were dumped out of the blue. I know for me, I'll be wary, very wary, after some bad experiences, of dating a girl fresh out of a LTR. I'll still date them, I just have three important criteria: (1) if they are still in contact with an ex, they let that ex know they are in a relationship. Yes, this sucks for the dumpee big time, but for me, potentially being used as a rebound, it is a sign that the girl is making space in her heart for me; (2) if she wants to hang out with the ex, I get invited. Same as (1); (3) she invites me to meet her friends, even if they were friends of her ex. All of this SUCKS for the dumpee. I believe I've been a rebound and it crushed me. I don't ever want to be the rebound guy again, so I have boundaries that to me equate to making better choices in the women I date and requiring better treatment. Yes, it sucked to learn my ex was seeking out dates and friends with benefits a couple weeks after she dumped me. But it didn't matter. She left me. My attitude is if you dump me, I will never take you back, so I don't really care about who they date afterwards. I feel jealous. But mostly it's my own insecurities that swell and has nothing to do with her dating. Your ex's new relationship may or may not be real but since most relationships are short lived, you can't say with certainty if it failed that it was a rebound. Only the new guy can say that if he was dumped, because he will be the one able to say "she wasn't over her ex; I was never a priority," etc, things that ultimately indicate rebound.
child_of_isis Posted December 29, 2007 Posted December 29, 2007 I think jumping into another R is equivalent to running from your emotions. But...the further you push your emotions down in your belly, and the harder you try to ignore them...the bigger they become. They eventually manifest. One way or another. Usually it is in an unhealthy way.
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